Please only serious answers! Her family has pretty much shunned her, her father wont even look at her, her mother cries everytime she sees her! THEY THREW AWAY HER BABY PIC.
HELP PLEASE!
Thkxs
2006-08-05 10:00:30 · 14 answers · asked by kfcutie1993 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
shes...17
2006-08-05 10:47:35 · update #1
First of all the parents should ACCEPT HER FOR WHO SHE IS!!!!!!!!....her mom crying and her father not looking at her and throwing away her baby picture is NOT RIGHT AND HER PARENTS SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF THEMSELVES!!!!!!!
its not her fault that she's a lesbian and God created us in different ways........God made her that way so her parent should'nt be like that.......I think she should seek help at help centers for lesbians,bisexuals,gays......she's not alone so she could seek help from those people on what to do.......I pray she'll be alright.......and I hope her sister is standing by her side supporting her too.......
2006-08-05 10:24:04 · answer #1 · answered by Lizzie B 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
This is why whenever I hear a young person say they are planning to come out to family I suggest that they predict the outcome first, and see if they have a plan for the worst case scenario. It's had to work backwards from where she is.
She will have to get past it. She should see if there is a gay youth counseling or support service near her. Sometimes there are opportunities where an older, RESPONSIBLE lesbian couple might take her in. Otherwise, she's destined for big trouble.
IF she can stay at home, she should continue to do that. Just obey the house rules, and don't fight with the flow, at least until she finishes school. I feel for her.
2006-08-05 18:37:53 · answer #2 · answered by michael941260 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its probably a big shock right now. So it might take some time for them to accept her (weeks, months, years?). Maybe try not to mention anything gay for a while. Just eat dinner, watch movies together, and try to communicate with each other without fighting or bringing up the gay issue every second. In time it will be accepted and it will not be a shock anymore. The parents are not required to accept her sexuality, but as parents they are required to accept and love their daughter. The first week, month or year may be a big shocker for both the parents and the daughter. But what did she expect? That is real life. Her mom will stop crying eventually and her father will look at her. The world is not over. At least the parents don't have to worry about her getting pregnant.
2006-08-05 17:30:33 · answer #3 · answered by Eddie F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if this whole thing doesn't blow over for 1 month, hey should definately see a councilor of some sort. I highly doubt that they really threw away her baby pictures. Parenting is a large commitment in life. You have to look over this (or perhaps several) little things that don't do anything much other than crap, cry, and scream, and yet, you keep going! This strong determination to give your baby the best in the world you can offer is what holds together a family, and I think those parents should stick to their commitment and move on.
2006-08-05 18:25:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was her choice to come out to her family and so she prob'ly knew that the reactions wouldn't be that good at first, but I would bet she feels better then hiding it. Just be her friend right now. If her family didn't kick her out then that's a good sign. They may just have been shocked and need time to come around. Get her some infomation from PFLAG about dealing with parents after telling them you're a lesbian and find the PFLAG in your area so she can go there for support.
Throwing out the baby pictures was really rash. Try to save some of those pictures so she can have them later. And just be a friend to her. Tell her anytime she wants to talk or needs to get away you will be there.
2006-08-05 17:35:32 · answer #5 · answered by MindStorm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, at the risk of going against the obvious grain here, i have to side with the parents--hear me out though. Say you are a parent and your child announced that they were going to live a life of crime. Would you shun them? OF COURSE!! Why? Because you love them soooooooo much you want to protect them from the outcome of such a life. How is shunning them protecting them you ask?
Bottom line: even a YEAR of shame and frustration in the family is better than a LIFETIME of shame from the entire community.
Hope this helps :) peace
2006-08-05 17:30:20 · answer #6 · answered by Ken 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming that y our friend is ok with your sister, hence there's a conflict right? I think it's very touchy, and that your friend at least should probably be careful. Was this a religious-based shunning or not? If she's in danger of similar treatment for maintaining contact with her sister, she should probably be REALLY careful about what contact she does have until she's independant of her parents.
2006-08-05 20:32:05 · answer #7 · answered by Atropis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She shouldn't have told them. Why do they need to know? How long has she, herself, known? Is it a new thing that she's all excited about and is dying to share with the world? Trust me, things like orientation, pagan religion, and extreme political views are all best kept as secrets. It sounds like they have disowned her and it will take alot of effort on her part to be a part of the family again. They may never get over it. Good luck.
2006-08-05 17:14:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's so sad ... i would have to assume her family is religious and that's where the problem lies ... often over time, families can adjust and eventually come around ... but when the family is religious, there is little hope
in the not-religious case, after some time has passed, she can try taking her mother to a pflag group meeting, showing her books and literature
in the other case, she can of course try that too ... but i would more counsel her to resign herself to being treated like that ... of course, if that's too painful, she can always pretend she's changed her mind and lie about it, but this is also a very questionable course
2006-08-05 17:25:06 · answer #9 · answered by ftm_poolshark 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be odd that they threw out her baby photos. Many people react very dramatically (especially parents), but I doubt they would toss her baby photos. Also, you don't mention the age of this person. You ask for help. The person who needs help is your friend and she needs it from a professional. In fact, if her family REALLY reacted like this then they all need professional counseling.
2006-08-05 17:08:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋