How can I make him change, We have 3 kids together so not so easy to just leave. He never showers, I have to ask him to. His car Is a health hazard, ground in dirt and the floor isn't visable for the litter. He wears jeans with grass stains all over them and never puts his clothes in the wash.
I'm not prepared to mother him as that will just excuse his behaviour.I Have told him he's a slob and he laughs. It's such a turn off.I'm at the end of my teather... any suggestions?
2006-08-05 09:23:38 · 23 answers · asked by Gypsie 5 in Health ➔ General Health Care ➔ Other - General Health Care
And I don't want any " You shouldn't try to change the one you love". bull.
He made an effort before we lived toghether.
2006-08-05 09:29:38 · update #1
And yes he has a big willy but i don't see it much ... only when he showers.
2006-08-05 09:30:26 · update #2
P.s I am a bit of a clean freak and take pride in both mine and my kids appearance so please don't tar me with the same brush
2006-08-05 09:36:47 · update #3
Get his mom round to have a word, we all know they don't like to p-i-s-s off their moms!!
2006-08-05 09:28:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 4⤋
Okay. Let me be the first to be mean in a nice way. It took three children before you realized that he was a slop. Dirty sex really turned you on.
Bottom line: You can't change him. You can only change yourself. If you are not going to mother hime, and I don't suggest that you do that. Everyone will tell you that you are a fool, but haven't we all done foolish things. You are brave to post such a question.
You may try just talking to him, and when he laughs, walk away and keep walking. He may come around if he sees you are serious. He definitely won't change if you show that you will continue tolerating this madness.
2006-08-05 09:27:15 · answer #2 · answered by Wise ol' owl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell him he's slob. Because then he loughs and it makes him feel "manly" and "powerful".
Think of something else. Don't ask for him to become "Not slob" he doesn't understand what it means. Ask for simple things one at a time. It will take a lot of patience. (In my bf case - it was dirty socks left under the chair. He'd say "but they don't smell, I changed them today" I'd say "I know they don't smell. I just don't like the look of socks under the chair. Please.") One thing at a time.
Unfortunatelly, you missed the time when they are most "traineabe"...
He will never change to meet your standards of cleanliness. He'll alway be on a sloppy side, but he can get better and you should give him credit for this, when he does.
Maybe tell him that he's setting a bad example for the kids (not in front of the kids, though)
2006-08-05 09:42:29 · answer #3 · answered by Snowflake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send him on a cruise by himself and while he's away wash his car, pick up his clothes and wash them like 3X, buy him a new pair of jeans, and buy a pool or hot tub that way its like a huge bathtub. or u could just send the kids away to his mom's house for a night, turn off cellphones, computers,and unplug the phone that way there won't be any distractions and then sit him down and talk 2 him.
hope that u find someway!!
2006-08-05 09:53:00 · answer #4 · answered by Miss Priss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how to tell you this but your boyfriend didn't "turn into a slob"...you just know him better now that you moved in with him. I'm sorry that you just found this out about him but when you moved in with him he felt like he could "be himself" around you, which is unfortunate because you take care of yourself. With as much disparity as there is between you and him on these issues you won't feel good about yourself if you "let" this go on much longer. I don't know why but I feel like you need to be cautious in whatever you to do. Since his behavior has deteriorated so much that it is intolerable to you you had probably best move out! I seems as though you care about him, so whether you want to continue this relationship after you move out is up to you. People are creatures of habit, they tend to keep doing what they've always done so just because you aren't living with him doesn't mean that he will "change" into being "Mr. Clean". And even if he did APPEAR to change the probability is that he would revert to being "Mr. Unkempt" if you moved back in with him. I don't envy you because you have found yourself in such an unpleasant situation. I am very clean myself and I do know what it is like to live with "dirty" people, we end up cleaning up the messes of our live-in partners. Good luck and be SAFE!!
2016-03-27 00:17:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My girlfriend is exactly the same. We have 2 children and because of her slobbishness I ended up breaking my little girls leg.
Tried all sorts to get her to change but I might as well turn round and talk to the dog or the wall for all the response I get from her.
I sympathise completely
2006-08-05 09:31:44 · answer #6 · answered by dnlrawson 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell how his personal habits are affecting you and that you can't go on with someone who refuses to take showers or keep up his personal appearance, I hate to see a man or be around a man who does not have good personal hygiene, that is a totally turn off to all women and I don't see how you can stand to be around him.
2006-08-05 09:30:32 · answer #7 · answered by smokey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The bull you are asking us not to say, is the bull you need to listen to.
Do you really think he gives a .. about you or your kids?
that is the question.
You deserve respect, and to get respect you have to start respecting yourself. Have standards, if your friends and family dont meet them, dont see them. its that simple they will either elarn or move on, but either way you win.
Everyone deserves to meet someone they love, cherish and spend time together, you dont deserve a man who obviously doesnt care, or the man doesnt deserve you. Even if you love him tell him your throwing him out,l it could be that he realises his mistakes.Obviously this is an empty threat, just to see what is response is.
Good luck
2006-08-05 09:34:15 · answer #8 · answered by englishkeymaster 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever attracted you to him in the first place & you have 3 kids by him , well I bet that was nice for you getting that close to a human dump!
2006-08-05 09:30:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put his clothes in the wash when he is asleep. In the daytime, put a clothespeg on your nose and when he asks, tell him it's to kill the stench. Point out that if he doesn't wash, he will develop boils and skin fungus.
2006-08-05 14:58:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How in the World did you even have 3 kids with him -- yuck.
2006-08-05 09:28:27 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋