Help!!! Am I a lesbian?

Question

I LOVE staring at beautiful women, and I often fantasize about them. I want to be with a woman BUT I also like having a boyfriend and being feminine. I cant see myself in a relationship with a woman like I can with a man but sometimes when I'm having sex with a man the ONLY way I can get turned on is by thinking of a woman. I also enjoy having phone sex with women and have done so in the past SOMETHING I could never do with a man... When I masturbate I always think of women NEVER about men...SO am I a lesbian? If I'm not a lesbian am I normal for thinking like this... or am I bi... I'm so confused!

Answer 1

It is quite normal. I do same things all the time.

Answer 2

You're actually straight, but just a little confused about having experiences that turned you on unexpectedly. I won’t try to tell you who to be or what to do; I can only offer my expert observation and advice from my experiences and all the hours of study and research I’ve done on this and other topics.

As a heterosexual, you enjoy the rewards of having a boyfriend, and you appreciate the wonderful role you have being a woman. You simply can't see yourself getting involved in something as strange to you as homosexual activity.

You're not fully satisfied by how fulfilled you are in relationships with men, partly because the men you've been with are not manly and compassionate enough to meet your needs.

Women are often attracted to aspects of men that women sometimes demonstrate better: you obviously like your man to demonstrate compassion, closeness, tenderness, and understanding, but society pressures modern men to avoid those things, and expects men to show a side of them that quite frankly can be often disgusting.

What you need to do - though it may be hard at first - is change your expectations in men: don't settle for someone who buys into the garbage society throws at them, such as treating females like nothing more than a prize, or throwing out the concept of tenderness and caring for you no matter what. This will shift the focus in your relationships, and you will begin to see the aspects of women that you find attractive show up in the way you look at the men in your lives, because you'll be married to a more caring type of man - someone you truly deserve - in the first place.

I truly wish you the very best as you try to make sense of all that's going on inside your mind. There's hope and a better love life to be seen on your horizon!

Please get back to me and let me know how things are going for you. If you have any other questions or comments, I’d be happy to see what I can do to be of some help to you.

Answer 3

Well, it sounds to me like you're a lesbian,sweetie, but I could be wrong. First off, maybe you like having a boyfriend because that is societies norm, that a girl should have those kinds of relationships with a guy. So in an effort to try to fit in with society, or even just because it's just what seems normal for you, you may feel the need to have a boyfriend, when truly, you have no desire to be with a man. Also, enjoying being feminine has nothing to do with your situation, love. You can be feminine and be a lesbian, and in fact, many of the lesbians/bisexual girls I know are. What you may be thinking of is the "butch" or "bulldyke" lesbian, that shows more masculine traits than feminine ones. You don't have to be butch to be a lesbian hun, and most lesbians aren't butch. And, as I said earlier, you may not be able to see yourself with another women because its different, not something you're particularly used to, and not something that you see in everyday society. So yeah. I hope I helped. Loves bunches,
~!*Justy Bean*!~

Answer 4

I'd say you're more bi-curious than anything. And I wouldn't worry about it too much if I were you... there's nothing wrong with being that way. A lot of people are, and they're just too afraid of being labeled as a homosexual to actually say or do anything about it. There's nothing with loving whoever you love, whether male or female. But I understand the having to think of a female to really get turned on... I'm that way too. It just means you have stronger lesbian influences, but until you actually do something with a female besides just phone sex, you're only bi-curious, and as long as you like men as well, you'll be bisexual.

Answer 5

A lot of people mistake this for being lesbian. Its normal to stare at pretty woman or even be turned on. This doenst mean anything. I dont know why this happens but it happens to almost everyone. In todays society a lot of people are confused with these feelings because they are told confusing ideas. The fact is you have a boyfriend and like having one. If one day you want to be married and have kids then you defineatly not a lesbian. Feelings of marriage and children are the sign of being strait. Just dont think about it, we tend to confuse ourselves when we think too much.

Answer 6

You are the only person who can answer this question. From what you say it sounds like you may be bi-sexual. And you if you are a lesbian or a bi-sexual then you can still be feminine too, there are no set rules on what sexuality is. You'll figure it out and if it starts to interfere with your functioning then you may need to get some professional help to figure it out. Either way just be who you are.

Answer 7

i would guess your sexual preference is for women ... whether or not you call yourself bisexual or lesbian is a matter of semantics ... but only you can answer that question ... and how would you go about answering that question? ... by doing research ... what is the research? ... experimentation ... of course that's easier said than done ... most lesbians do not want to be your experiment

BTW, the proper experiment is not some sleazy pickup that you're not even attracted to

it is not relevant that you are feminine ... lot's of lesbians are feminine

i'm curious as to why you can't see yourself in a relationship with a women

Answer 8

if you never had sex with a woman, your not bi or a lesbian. But you do need to get some help. Dont always feed your desires, have a bit of self-control.

Answer 9

Either you're bisexual, or you are a lesbian. Let's look at the facts. You find women attractive. You have phone *sex* with women. You masturbate to women. The fact is you like women. Embrace this side of yourself. Not all lesbians are butch.

Answer 10

i think you may be bisexual.you love to have your man near him and feel his embrace.but you also enjoy the softness of a woman.are you holding back your sexual desires for a woman just because u have a boyfriend, or because you thin that others will think its wrong.if you answered the 2nd one then your definitely bi and on your way to being a full blown lesbian.

Answer 11

i think what the confusion is, is that the reason you easily see a relationship with a man is because that is the quote unquote norm for society it is obvious that your attraction is to woman. you may just have to get honest with yourself and take the road less traveled and chose happiness with a woman that will compliment your life. oh and yes you are a lesbian. hope this helps.