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My wife is bipolar and she has very little sex drive. I am also new with this Bipolar disorder. Any advice you can give me would help. Thanks!

2006-08-05 09:11:11 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

18 answers

Hey buddy! I am bi-polar as well. Didn't know it for years and years! I was finally diagnosed by the Veterans Administration. Bi-polar used to be called manic depressive. WE go through times of highs and lows.

Some of the medication they give bi-ploars decrease our sexual drive. That is true for men, our.. um.. ability is lessened! I have found that DHEA reverses this for men.

Women on the other hand aren't as visually and primal driven as we men. ( Generally speaking). Women need to feel a strong connection and a very strong bonding before they are really comfortable giving themselves up to the joy of sex. Add the dimension of cycling between being very depressed and being very hyper, and I can see how a woman might just want to ignore sex! ( we men can be very unthoughtful lovers)

If she is diagnosed, that means she has to be seeing someone. Honestly, I would go with her to a session, and bring this, very uncomfortable, situation up. Bi-polar people tend also to be fairly intelligent and able to understand in abstract better than reality. ( Boy, I didn't mean that to come off as I am all that intellectual, but everyone says I am)

Open and honest communication is the key!

Didn't man that to sound too..... know it all!

2006-08-05 09:25:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

I'm bipolar as well, but I have to opposite problem, my sex drive is very high. My husband is amazed that the meds I take actually diminish sex drive. Her problem may be mental or a product of the meds she takes. If it's the meds they can be changed. If it's in her head you may have to work harder at it.

Women are very emotional about sex, if they don't feel special and loved they just aren't into it. You need to create an atmosphere where she feels like she's beautiful and sexy. Telling her isn't going to cut it either, actions speak louder than words in this situation. Taking a few extra minutes to warm her up is really important. Plus not demanding sex is helpful, if she feels like she has to do it right now she's going to be turned off. Maybe give her time, say "hey, would you like to have sex later?" or suggest something for a different time. Or just walk up to her and give her a good long kiss and then walk away without saying anything. She'll feel special, you'll look sexy and romantic and she'll also be breathless and wanting more.

Good Luck!

2006-08-05 10:44:06 · answer #2 · answered by Kellie M 2 · 0 0

Is she getting treatment? If she is bi polar you have much bigger problems coming your way than sex drive. You might as well forget about that because if the disorder doesn't kill it the medication to control the disorder (it is never cured, she will be this way forever) will. I has a friend that dated a girl like this for years, he loved her to bits but in the end it was just too much to take. There was so much medication and it made her feel so blah that she would quit taking it, get crazy, end up in the hospital for a month or two, then take the meds for a while, go off them again and the whole thing started over. Love can't come close to fixing this or making it better, sad but true. There is tons of information on the net about this and you are much better off getting your facts there than from people here who may or may not have a clue what they are talking about.

PS. In response to the other answer do NOT give her wine, she can't have alcohol with the medication she takes unless you are trying to kill her that is, see thats what I was saying!

2006-08-05 09:18:24 · answer #3 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 1 0

Alot of medications for Bipolar will kill off her sex drive....her doctor or psychiatrist should have warned about that but they seldom do....

The illness itself causes lows that will cause her not to want to have sex as well. I would imagine that the only time she is really feeling up to having sex is during that part of the cycle when she is feeling euphoric.....

You should see if she can ask her doctor about switching to a medication with less drastic side effects if it is affecting your sex life that much. I know that with antidepressants there are drugs out there that don't affect sex drive like many of the others do.

Good luck.....

2006-08-12 12:44:34 · answer #4 · answered by Cute But Evil 5 · 0 0

I have worked on a crisis stabilization unit for many years. Bipopolar is a very hard mental illness. The medicaton she takes can cause a diminished sex drive.

If you don't have kids yet you might think one over. Mental illness has the potential to be passed to offspring in some form or fashion.

But right now she is fairly normal but she can have relaspses from time to time. One woman had this happen to her and in one week she ran up $30,000 in credit cards, had a threesome with her best friend and her husband and sliced her arms from elbow to wrist to get "retribution" for her eariler actions. Once she got her meds re-balanced she was semi-okay for awhile but her BF lived in fear that this would happen again.

Check out the following website. It can answer your questions better than I can. The book covers some situations with mental instability. If you decide to stay with her then think about kids real careful. You don't want to condem them to a life if sorrow through some sort of mental illness.
http://www.condomsbrasandstraightjackets.com/
Good Luck

2006-08-05 09:20:09 · answer #5 · answered by hoyhoydc 3 · 0 0

Some of the mood stabilizers used to help bipolar disorders (such as Lithium) suppress libido. Her sex drive may improve once she adjusts to the medications. If not, she can talk to her doctor about it and see if there are other meds she could take instead of/in addition to her regular meds.

In the meantime, talk to her about it (as she may not realize this is a problem) and be patient with her.

2006-08-05 09:22:01 · answer #6 · answered by Avid 5 · 0 0

Many of the side effects of medications for that disorder have a negative effect on sexual drive. The best thing is to openly and honestly discuss it with the doctor. They get many people with the same issues and can alleviate the problem through a change in amount, or change in the meds themselves.

2006-08-13 01:27:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

It is probably the medicine the doctor has her on. Most of the meds used for this disorder affect the sex drive. Have her talk to her doctor about it and see what they suggest. Tell her not to be embaressed,this is pretty common for the meds she is taking.

2006-08-05 09:19:44 · answer #8 · answered by mrsreadalot 3 · 0 0

I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS BOTHERING YOU, BUT YOU ALSO HAVE TO UNDERSTAND HER REASONS FOR HAVING THIS PROBLEM! IF SHE IS TAKING MEDICATION THAT MAY BE CAUSING HER LACK OF INTEREST, HAVE THE TWO OF YOU BEEN MARRIED FOR A LONG TIME? IF YOU HAVE AND SHE JUST DEVELOPED THIS BIPOLAR DISORDER THEN YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS ALSO NEW TO HER AS WELL, AND WHAT MAKES IT EVEN WORSE ON HER PART IS THAT IT IS HER BODY!
SHE IS GOING TO HAVE TO LET HER BODY GET ACQUAINTED & USE TO THE DRUGS, SO THAT IT WILL GET HER ENERGY & SEX DRIVE BACK ON TRACK!
I HOPE THAT YOU WILL HAVE PLENTY OF LOVE & PATIENTS!
GOOD LUCK TO THE BOTH OF YOU

2006-08-11 02:33:38 · answer #9 · answered by bigred 4 · 0 0

Sometimes the medications effect or have sexual side affects. Talk candidly to your wife, reassure her that you love her and see if perhaps the medication might be a factor. You may also try to seduce her with wine music food and song, keep trying, you'll hit and miss but never stop!

2006-08-05 09:18:08 · answer #10 · answered by want2flybye 5 · 1 0

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