is there anything wrong with a birthday party?

Question

my husband is a jehovas witness and im not. hes not home, he's sitting his stupid *** in jail over domestic violence.ive been doing everything from paying all the bills to helping him out. i've been thinking about someone else lately but stay because of the kids and because i dont want his family to run their mouth saying im a s.l.u.t they never liked me. but the point is i had a small birthday party for my two older sons and im buying stuff to have a small party for my baby first year.and he said it was going to be my fault that my children didnt have a spot in heaven with god because i was teaching them about birthday parties and last year i bought them christmas presents and he said the same thing.i justfeel that if i dont let my children have that when they go to school and their friends have a birthday they gonna feel bad because they never had it. and christmas i feel the same way. i just want my children to be children. am i wrong?

Answer 1

You're right and his cultish beliefs are wrong. Leave his *** in jail, he's where he belongs.

Answer 2

I am a former Jehovah's Witness. I grew up not celebrating birthdays, holidays, never went to school dances. At that time, JW's were not even allowed to go to college. This did not "hurt" or "scar" me, however it was extremely difficult and I would not recommend this for raising children.

What hurt me though -- was my mother staying with an abusive man. He is continuing the abuse from jail -- do you realize this? She taught me that this is acceptable behavior, that women do not deserve to be treated well. You are not convinced that you deserve to be treated well, are you? Well you do deserve that. Tell yourself that everyday. This will make you strong.

You are doing the job of two parents all by yourself. Number one, sing yourself praises for your hard work and being a mother who strives to bring joy in the lives of their children. Through holidays or anything, this is wonderful.

You children should be your first concern. Your heart always tells you what is right ... like with holidays ... does it trouble your heart to celebrate them or not celebrate them? Does it trouble your heart to picture yourself and your family back with your husband? Trust your intuition -- we have that for a reason. You will make good decisions and you will have peace.

Above all -- Please, get help for yourself. I made the same mistake as my mother and married a very abusive man. The only thing that saved me was a 12 week course for battered women. Statistically, there is a 98 percent chance that you will always be in an abusive relationship. I decided to be in that 2 percent and it has been ten years since. It will will never happen to me and it should never happen to you. Find one of those groups, so you can strenghten yourself. You can do it :)

~j

Answer 3

No, I believe you are right in wanting your children to have those things. I do get it that he has religious beliefs in which he believes it is wrong, but your opinions and beliefs should be just as valuable. Was he worried about his "spot in Heaven" when he was arrested for domestic violence? Funny how the rules are different when it comes to you and your choices.

Sounds like you are about to your wits end, which is understandable considering you are taking on so much of the load at home. I would suggest you try counseling. If he says that is against his religious beliefs, then ask him if divorce will be more likely to get you into Heaven. I mean...I understand that people have religious beliefs, but sometimes there has to be exceptions to the rules in my book. I hope your little one has a good time at his/her birthday party. Take care and good luck.

Answer 4

No, you are not wrong.

There are three reasons Jehovah's Witnesses do not celebrate birthdays.

One: because the only two instances in the bible where birthdays are mentioned also mention someone getting beheaded at the party.

Two: because they are not allowed to celebrate any holidays that are based on 'man-made' traditions, and not directly commanded by the Bible.

Three: because they say it is giving too much honor to the one having the birthday, instead of to god.

Does this make sense to you? Do people get beheaded at parties these days? What does that have to do with today? A birthday is a cause for celebration; your loved one is another year older and wiser. You love them and want to give them gifts to show them. Everyone loves to get together for a party and some fun. Why would god not approve of that?

The only holiday that JWs celebrate is the memorial of Jesus Christ's death. And it is a pretty somber occasion, not one for fun, or getting together. Many still celebrate wedding anniversaries, and the anniversary of their baptism as a JW, but their publications have even frowned on those, saying not to get carried away putting too much focus on your marriage over God. Do you want to live life this way? What a boring, and joyless way to live. Why does the fact that a holiday is man-made, make it bad? Does that mean that all other cultures and beliefs other than JWs are filth, and detested by god?

Lastly, giving gifts to your loved one is not taking anything away from God. You are not worshiping this person, you are just showing your love and appreciation for everything they are. Why would god be jealous of that; he does not need gifts, he is god.

If you are not a JW, then why worry about what his family is telling you regarding how to raise your children? If you are thinking about another man, then maybe you should consider filing for a divorce. If you still love your husband and want to wait for him, then just be aware that contrary to what some JWs may tell you, domestic violence IS tolerated in their organization. Many times it is hushed up, and if a wife complains to the Elders about her husband abusing her and he denies it, then she is expected to endure it, and not tell others about it. Those who have not been involved in a case directly may not even be aware of this going on, because JW elders do not share this information. They like to give the impression that everything about the religion is perfectly in harmony with the bible, and that everyone is so happy and joyful all of the time.

You are NOT wrong. I was raised as a JW, and finally left 5 years ago (I am now 37). I am still making up for all of the birthdays and holidays I never had. My son sure gets spoiled, that's for sure. :) And I sure am glad to be free.

Good luck with everything, and have fun with your kids.

Answer 5

This so-called "question" is a ridiculous exercise in anti-Witness lying slander. The father of these children simply could not possibly be a Jehovah's Witnesses, or he would have been excommunicated long ago!

A practicing Jehovah's Witness would not be in jail over violence, since they are a peace-loving Christian religion.

Jehovah's Witnesses believe that the vast majority of their number (and all of mankind) will be resurrected to life ON EARTH, rather than in heaven.

Why do anti-Witnesses spread such falsehoods regarding this great Christian religion? Interestingly, such "hatred" should be expected by true Christians in this time of the end, and it actually helps identify Jehovah's Witnesses as Christ's true disciples:

(John 15:19) If you were part of the world, the world would be fond of what is its own. Now because you are no part of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, on this account the world hates you.

(Luke 6:22) Happy are you whenever men hate you, and whenever they exclude you and reproach you and cast out your name as wicked for the sake of the Son of man.

(1 Peter 4:4) Because you do not continue running with them in this course to the same low sink of debauchery, they are puzzled and go on speaking abusively of you.

(2 Timothy 4:3-5) For there will be a period of time when they will not put up with the healthful teaching, but, in accord with their own desires, they will accumulate teachers for themselves to have their ears tickled; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, whereas they will be turned aside to false stories. You, though, keep your senses in all things, suffer evil, do the work of an evangelizer, fully accomplish your ministry.

It seems signficant that the relatively small religion of Jehovah's Witnesses are the ones best known for their worldwide preaching work. Yet Jesus commanded that ALL who would call themselves "Christian" perform this public work:

(Matthew 28:19,20) Go therefore and make disciples of people of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the holy spirit, teaching them to observe all the things I have commanded you. And, look! I am with you all the days until the conclusion of the system of things.

Learn more:
http://watchtower.org
http://watchtower.org/library/jt/index.htm

Answer 6

He's in JAIL, He's in JAIL, He's in JAIL, usually after the third time of reading something so incredibly nonsensical the average person grasps the STUPIDITY. Your husband is using RELIGION as a weapon to manipulate and bully you. When did he get the AUTHORITY to decide who is reserved a place in heaven, let alone damning an innocent child, his own blood. You also need to check yourself and get a grip on what the hell it is you believe and value. If you don't have your own belief system, not that someone else has decided for you, you can't stand your ground when people and life hit you in the face. DON"T let your children see you sway like a tree in the breeze. If it's WRONG, IT IS WRONG. If it's a LIE, DITTO. When someone is feeding you a line of BULLSHIT you have to decide if you open your mouth to eat or if you send it back to the cook to stick up there ***! Tell the cook to get his dumb *** out of jail, check himself before he gets to enthusiastic about speaking up for GOD and live what he preaches. There are three kinds of people in this word, BELIEVERS, NONBELIEVERS & HYPOCRITES, THE WORST, HYPOCRITES! GOD doesn't need anyone to speak for him, he gets his message across just fine!

Answer 7

No you aren't wrong about the birthdays, you are wrong for staying with this guy for the kids and for fear of being called a sl ut by people who are idiots anyway..after all look at what they raised, a guy that is in jail for domestic violence, yes they must be absolutely good folks to listen to! (that was sarcasm). Kids learn what love and relationships look like from you so if you want them to grow up and have better then get better for yourself. If you want them to end up in jail over domestic violence, or be the victim of it stay. Do you want to risk child services taking your kids from you because of his behavior, it can happen. You are a parent and as such your absolute most important responsibility is to ensure they are raised in a safe, healthy environment, this isn't either. If you want your kids to have birthdays and other things normal kids have leave him. He's a fanatic, all things in moderation, this guy is way over the top and thats not healthy, people think that because their obsession is religion its ok but its still an obsession which is NEVER healthy!

Answer 8

He's in jail for domestic violence. That,s not at all Christian. Your husband is just one of many that have God in their head and not in their heart. These types are too chock full of RELIGION and not an ounce of CHRISTIANITY (and yes,...there is a difference). These people just "talk" religion, and "act" religious, rather than having a live and let live, kind, forgiving, tolerant, loving Christian HEART. Remember...."knowing" the way....ain't necessarily "going" the way!
The really sad part is that they truly don't see themselves, or Christ and how being so overly religious can be so un'Christian. There really is no other word I can think of (cause it sure ain't being christian) for this except religious @ssholes.

HANG - IN AND JUST DO IN YOUR OWN HEART WHAT YOU KNOW TO BE RIGHT!!!!

Answer 9

i'm with you. The final time i gave my young ones a social gathering faraway from homestead like the coastline and park i never knew the place all of the youngsters have been and a few of them have been given harm. So now all of the youngsters birthday events are at homestead. I actual have 5 acres of land and that's vast sufficient for various young ones and video games, macdonnalds farm to establish their infant animals. pony rides leaping castles and all that stuff and this is extra extra low-value too. and on warm days they are in a position to in basic terms bounce interior the pool

Answer 10

have aparty for your children they are too young to understand his religion give them the opportunity to decide for themselves if that is the path that they want to take tell him he wont have a place in heaven if he keeps up the things hes doing some example hes setting for your children you do what makes you and children happy aint like he or his family there helping you during the times of need if you need any good ides for a party theme let me know i have tons of ideas you will be blessed for putting a smile on your kids faces everday remember that

Answer 11

Who gives a crap about what your husband thinks. Why is he still your husband anyway? Why are you staying with someone who is violent toward you? Get out of that marriage fast before he gets out of jail and starts again on you and possibly the children. Good luck!