We have 2 children and have been married 19 years. He's told me he's not happy and wants me to be patient and us to work things out, but he doesn't really seem to be trying, or maybe I'm not anymore. Nothing I do is right, he refuses to go to counseling or church. Emotionally, I feel spent. I don't know if I can try anymore and don't know how to go about divorcing. How can someone just stop loving you?
2006-08-05 08:48:16 · 10 answers · asked by buggoff 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm not a "betting man", but if I was , I'd be willing to bet you the farm....there's another woman involved. My wife did the same thing, and one day, out of the blue, she moved out. Moved in with another man. He don't want a divorce cause he wants his cake and eat it too. Be patient, and observant............
2006-08-05 08:58:39 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems kind of weird that he's not trying, yet not wanting out. You know, you don't have to divorce to separate yourself from the situation for a while. If he won't try, you don't have to be a doormat (sorry). You can love him, tell him so, but tell him that he needs to actually do something to "work on it"! Good grief. I'd give him sort of an ultimatum, but given in love. Let him know you aren't going to put up with him doing nothing. Separation is really hard, but sometimes it scares them enough to move on it, and if it doesn't, then there's your answer.
2006-08-05 16:07:43 · answer #2 · answered by agatehunt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been with my husband for 15 years and we have 2 kids together also, my 17 yr. isn't his and through those 15 yrs. we have had alot of agruments because of him and how he would treat him different than his 2 kids....we've actually divorced 2 times now...I am back with him.
He wants us to remarry for the 3rd time around. I'm scared to , but in another sense I want to, cause I can't imagine myself being with another man long term like my ex.We have gone through alot good and bad, and with me having kids with him, I hate to break up the home, plus I do love this man very much. He is just so hard-headed. The probably there, is I am too.....I hope you 2 can work things out, your kids needs both the mother and father together in the same house, I believe, anyways.Have a great day....
2006-08-05 16:08:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make an appointment with a marriage counselor at a time that you know he will be available. Tell him that you love him and want to fix your marriage. Tell him to be there or it's over.
If he shows up, you can try to work things out. If he doesn't, then you'll know.
Because you have children, you'll need an attorney to get a divorce. If your state has "collaborative divorce", you might try it. It is usually less expensive and more amicable.
2006-08-05 15:57:49 · answer #4 · answered by Otis F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After being with him for 19 years, you know this man better than anyone. You know what he's all about. There comes a time when one person gets tired of doing it all while the other causes problems with no intention of fixing them. Contct an attorney, he/she will be able to answers all your questions concerning a divorce.
2006-08-05 15:59:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u know 19 yrs is long is long time and is very hard but as the saying goes when u dont want nomore u cannot force ur self to like that again.actually i dont like husband and wide they make divorce is will broken the family and is hard for the children.but in that case that he dont care he make nothing is mean he want his freedom but he cannot say to u maybe he scared he will hurt u.is better talk to him heart to heart then u iwll know what is now the status of ur married.if he want divirce and u too then go for it.give ur self a relax and frredom to move on.life is nice u must enjoy while ur still alive.
2006-08-05 15:58:09 · answer #6 · answered by cute sam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
concentrate on your children's interests...get some space between the two of you. this is another case of a man loosing their sense of belonging,reason, and purpose. Only he can do this to himself...you can only help but in the end its his call. You can't teach an old dog new tricks.. He needs to do this on his own. you can try to communicate, and try to solve your old issues one step at a time. no grave digging and never point fingers. because if you do - you wont be able to resolve anything.
2006-08-05 16:01:41 · answer #7 · answered by RAY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not that they stopped loving you, its more in the line of, their not in love with you.there's a big difference.If l were you, l would really sit down and decide what you really want..are you in love with him and want to live the rest of your life with him.if not then file for a divorce.its easy to do,now days.you really dont need a reason,.. just make sure, that hes not asking you to be patient so he can clean out the bank accounts or hide your assets.
2006-08-05 16:10:46 · answer #8 · answered by Cobra 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he having an affair?
talk to him about a 'trial seperation' you's are still married, but seperated for a bit just to see if this will change things, or if this is what you's really want.
2006-08-05 15:52:42 · answer #9 · answered by Jas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DEAR BUGGIN':
Stop buggin' and move on.
It sounds as if you're letting him make you miserable.
Since he refuses to seek counseling or help, move out, move up, and move on to something bigger and better!
Learn to love people as long as they love you...and not one damn minute more!
2006-08-05 16:02:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋