My mom won't let me go on dates until I'm 16. Is this fair?

Question

I'm almost fourteen and will start high school next week.

I don't want to have sex until I'm out of school.

By the way, blkrose65, I said I DON"T want to have sex. Read my question correctly please!

Answer 1

Define dates. Do you mean going out alone with a boy? Going to parties where drinking etc. occurs? Or hanging out with a group of friends regularly?

Most adults (even teens) will admit that being alone often leads to more physical contact (up to and including sex) than you originally intended. Staying with others sets you up for success.

By "dating' and "going steady", teens often turn so much of their attention to relationships that they lose time that would be better spent developing their skills and talents for adult life! Really---it's time consuming!

Why focus on relationships when you're not eligible for marriage, and you don't want to have sex yet. Build yourself up and think of your future. Once you're in a position to marry, a marriage can be grounded in similar values and friendship, and that is best found in spending time with that person amongst friends, relatives, community service together, etc. See how they cope in real-life situations.

The book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" and others gives great arguments for waiting in the teen years especially. Check your library, and decide for yourself!!

Meanwhile, listen to your Mom. She loves you and wants to protect you from harm. Better to be safe than sorry.

Answer 2

It may not seem fair but it is smart. 14 year old teens for the most part do not show much responsibility. And when it comes to the idea of love and sex it only takes a few minutes alone for a group of teens to make a wrong bad choice.
I think if your mom feels like you aren't ready to date then you aren't. 16 is a good age provided you are mature and responsible at that point.
Just because you say that you don't want to have sex until you get out of school doesn't mean that you won't get caught up in the heat of the moment. Many teen girls will tell you that they said the same things and now they are raising a child.

Answer 3

Every parent is different. I will not allow my daughter to date at all. She will also not be allowed to go out with friends unless One of her parents is with her. For me, it is a religious thing, but I understand the reason for not letting you date. You may be really mature for 14, but who can say the same for the guy you want to go out with! It is dangerous, because the are really irresponsible, and hormone driven, and they are physically much stronger than you are, so you may not be allowed to stick to the decisions you make about sex. Also, I know for a fact that i was an extremely responsible 14 year old, but I also know that at that age, I made some of the dumbest decisions of my life, and I wasn't dating either. I think you should let yourself be a kid for as long as you can, because with adult privileges come adult responsibilities. Right now your decisions are limited to things like which clothes to wear, and what color lipstick to put on, when they change to things like should I keep this baby or give it away life becomes a whole lot more difficult suddenly!

Answer 4

Dear Chello,
FAIR HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT !
Your Moms is only concern is your best interest. She's not saying to wait to date because she's mean and wants to make you suffer. On the contrary, I'm sure she loves you very much.
Your Mom wants you to be mature enough to be able to make the decisions that you will no doubt have to make once you start dating. There's all kinds of situations you'll encounter while out on a date, some good and some not so good. You'll need information and tools and know how to use them to the best of your advantage.
Your Mom has brought you along this far, why not trust her on this?

Answer 5

WOW, mom's slightly obtainable in this one., I do agree together with her approximately making particular which you get a competent education and a profession first. yet, I additionally ought to declare that as quickly as you turn 18 you surprisingly lots could make your man or woman judgements in existence and she or he can not do lots approximately it. Use your head and make certain you preserve your prospectives so as get the education. yet hiya decide for it once you're sixteen/17 i think of you are able to handle a date or 2... stable success!!!

Answer 6

Of course it is. Listen to your mom. I guess she's not allowing you by learning from experience. Maybe you wont understand now (thats what teenagers tend to) but you'll later, hopefully.
There are so many other ways to have fun just look for it, you'll find it. I dont get why are people so desperate about going to dates and wanting b/fs or g/fs?

Answer 7

Same here.. but I can still have boyfriends & stuff & supervised dates. It's fair. She's just watching out for you to show she cares. She doesn't want you to get hurt apperently. Just because your not getting want you want now you will thank her later. Guys are always going to be here even when your 16. You can wait.

Answer 8

OF COURSE NOT I WENT ON A DATE BEFORE WHEN I WAS 13 HIS NAME WAS DELIN AND HE LOVED TO GIVE ME FLOWERS. HE IS IN THE ARMY AND HE WILL NOT BE BACK FOR ABOUT TO YEARS AND THAT IS WHY I AM BYESEXUAL I REALY WANT HIM TO COME BACK AND PLUS SHE SHOULD LET YOU GO ON A DATE BECAUSE YOU MIGHT MEET A NICE GUY WHEN YOU ARE 14 OR SOME UNDER AGE LIKE 11.AND YOU MIGHT END UP SPENDING YOUR WHOLE LIFE WITTH HIM

Answer 9

Sure it is. I bet she wasn't allowed to date until she was 16. I wasn't allowed to and neither will my chlidern. Just chill out. You only have 2 years to go. 16 is a good age to start dating. Don't do it behind her back. she will find out and then you may have to wait even longer.

Answer 10

why go on dates just screw around with the guys after school tell your mom your on the swim team or something that's what i do it's great although most of the girls probably wont like you the guys will though