even if they are adults?
why?
2006-08-05 07:52:02 · 52 answers · asked by lizzy*lou 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
its not me Im talking about.
2006-08-05 08:08:34 · update #1
its not me Im talking about.
2006-08-05 08:08:35 · update #2
its not me Im talking about.
2006-08-05 08:08:36 · update #3
It is hard b/c then they get the stress and have to worry about their parents so I say they should talk to their friends instead. Even though they are adults, they are still kids to their mom and dad and that kind of pressure and info is hard on kids - at any age.
However - if these problems are really impacting the family, it is best to be honest with them about what is going on to some degree like mom and dad need to take some time and work things out,etc. I do believe that any vicious or cruel details and put downs of their spouse should be avoided though because that puts the kids in an awkward situation and pressures them to take sides.
This is why family counseling can be good - so all of this may be worked out is hopefully a positve, guided and neutral environment. Sometimes problems need a 3rd party - one that is neutral to gain some more insight and perspective on things.
2006-08-05 07:58:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Children are very perceptive, so there is point in acting as though nothing is wrong, because they can sense the underlying tension.
Should you tell them every detail? NO.
They should be told only things that they need to know and understand and be assured that they will be loved no matter what.
If the children are adults, it is a whole differnt ball game. It all depends on how close a relationship one has with their adult children.
2006-08-05 07:55:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the children are adults,then it is up to the parents if they feel like talking to their kids about their marriage problems it is up to them.I think ever marriage has it share of problems and it doesn't matter if you are parents or not.So people should not look down on you if you decide to tell your children or not.Children are not stupid,they can tell when their parents are having problems anyway.Good Luck.
2006-08-05 08:00:39 · answer #3 · answered by Sander 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it depends on what age they are, and it depends on what kind of marriage problem you're talking about. If they're adults such as 18 or 21, they should understand a little bit, but don't expect them to understand a whole lot. What I'm saying is, you should limit yourself on what you tell them.
2006-08-05 07:58:54 · answer #4 · answered by athena_aka_julia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess kids also want to get involved in the problems that husband and wife experience, however, you don't need to get into details. It's not good to pretend that everything is going smoothly between the parents, then if you can't take it anymore, you will just split up. It will leave the kids more confused and they might think they are the cause of the break-up. But i guess kids nowadays are very keen and sensitive when their parents are having problems. Sometimes, they even try to think of ways to patch things up between their parents. Yes, I think you can tell them, but don't get into details.
2006-08-05 08:05:59 · answer #5 · answered by mad scientist 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the kids need to know about parents' marriage problems because they're the parents and it effects the kids whether the parents stay together or not. kids might have their point of view that the parents don't see, because usually when parents are having problems they only think about themselves and never think about the kids, so therefore the parents need to talk to kids about their marriage problems. The kids have the rights to know. After all the separation effect the kids and not the parents.
2006-08-05 07:56:02 · answer #6 · answered by superboredom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is hard even as adults to hear about your parents having troubles. I mean how would YOU feel if your parents told you about them being unhappy? Although your children may not have the same mentality as you. I would suggest talking to a friend, but I really suggest that you talk to your spouse.
2006-08-05 07:58:12 · answer #7 · answered by trouble comes a knockin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. It is an inappropriate load to put on them. Even as adults it is not fair to load them down with that and will mostly create resentment, since it is often perceived as an attempt to blacken the other marriage partner.
Been there and rebuffed the attempts strongly.
2006-08-05 07:54:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not really unless it is positive things. Until parents get on the same page about how to handle each situation they need to discuss it first so they can deal with it calmly. It hurts the children emotionally to do this in front of them.
If it is not you, it is not your business. You may suggest this to her, but then back away and accept her free will
2006-08-05 08:25:22 · answer #9 · answered by Sue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it could be a good idea. But, you should take precautions. Your children ought to be mature enough to cope with this sort of thing. However, before depending on your children for advice or guidance make sure they are qualified to do so.
2006-08-05 07:59:08 · answer #10 · answered by devotionalservice 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋