...I've been married for nine years and we're not having as much sex as we once did. What would you consider to be a normal, healthy sex life by todays standards...How many times per week ? or month ? Please be honest and realistic !
2006-08-05 07:30:05 · 26 answers · asked by the ant ! 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Normal frequency for you as a couple is a compromise between the two of you (as in give and take) so that you both are happy with the frequency that you have sex. As long as you both are content and satisfied that should be normal.
2006-08-05 07:34:16 · answer #1 · answered by Missy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think this is a common problem for most people who have been together for a while. My husband thinks that three times a day is normal, I think that a few times a week or even once a day is great. We have never been able to agree on this and is has even turned into a fight once in a while. If you guys aren't having sex as regularly as you would like, talk to you wife and communicate your feelings with her. She may be tired or stressed, or have lots of things going on that make her feel like she doesn't have the time. I don't think there is a normal amount of sex that can be stated for every couple. Different amounts for different people. No matter how much sex you guys are having you need to decide what is the right amount for BOTH of you. After all, sex and intimacy is one of the most important things in a relationship. Good luck to you both.
2006-08-05 14:50:32 · answer #2 · answered by marym1018 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess it all depends on if children are involved or not ... once you start a family alone time becomes less and less.
You need to try to get the spice back into your marriage .. make her feel special and desirable. Let her know you are interested in her and not just the sex. A good healthy sex relationship while married can be obtained if a good line of communication is there and also that passion that once brought you together.
What did you do to court her before marriage ... try doing more of that ...
Good luck.
2006-08-05 14:36:11 · answer #3 · answered by J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say an average of at least once a week, but some people's sex drives are different. If you want to increase the frequency, try seducing your partner. Recently ours has dropped to 1 per month, but we had a baby about 2 months ago and our time is focused there.
2006-08-05 14:34:01 · answer #4 · answered by Ponderous 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After nine years, two or three times a week is normal. But try to spice things up. Have sex in different places, different rooms. That will make things much more interesting.
2006-08-05 14:34:30 · answer #5 · answered by dudefungame 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At nine years of marriage, we were still having sex more than 3 times a week.
2006-08-05 14:33:37 · answer #6 · answered by Cutie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends on a lot of things...what shifts you two work, how stressful your job is, how old the kids are, how active you are outside the house as a family unit, and so on.
Step back and take a look at things that are going on. You gotta MAKE TIME FOR EACH OTHER.
Set up a date night, where you are guaranteed to spend time alone. Once a week, once a month, whatever you can manage. Sounds corny, but it works...been there, still doing it! (literally and figuratively) :)
2006-08-05 14:34:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People forget to keep pursuing/dating/trying to win each other over over time. Don't forget to do that. Don't forget that because they married you, they still need to feel appreciated, wanted, desirable, important, saught after, needed, trusted, respected, accepted. When you spend lots of time with someone, it's easy to forget about their good stuff, because you learn more of their bad stuff, and you are so emotionally invested that it is magnified and creates "noise" in your mind.
Too much noise from other sources and from insecurities can decrease sex drive and intimacy levels. It can lead to more dissatisfaction in your marriage and sex life.
Turn to each other to fix this, never look outside the relationship. that only drives a wedge between you.
With all of your responsibilities, obligations, and hours in the day, you should devote at least one hour per day to your partner (whether it's sex or not).
Your sex drive and frequency will increase to both of your satisfaction if you continue to inspire each other's positive self-perception. Showing appreciation, admiration, and consideration are some ways to make someone feel like your #1.
Don't worry about "standards" because it's all relative. From your question, I take it that you are dissatisfied with something. Lean on the partner you choose, and this will be resolved.
Take care!
2006-08-05 14:51:06 · answer #8 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know the feeling i want it more but we are too busy now with kids,jobs,bills and everything else we went from once a day to once every 2 wks. There is no normal it is just what ever u can make time for and if u can try to make time so nither of u are feeling unwanted or neglected. It is all on u as to what is normal as long as u r happ that is normal.
2006-08-05 14:35:19 · answer #9 · answered by ru2tipsy2c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its common for ones sex life to die down with the same person but how many times theres no number on that some say 3 or 6 times i day a week a month its up to you and your partner thats all if you want to have more talk to your mate and ask maybe something diffrent is needed you know??? later
2006-08-05 14:35:15 · answer #10 · answered by finnlecarb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋