Disrepectfulness At The Workplace??

Question

I have a philipina boss and a Phlipino worker in the accounting department. There are only three of us and I am Mexican-America (born and raised in the USA to Mexican Parents).

We have clients that come in. The american female clients that come in are presented to us. They shake my worker's hand, but when I held out my hand, the american females would not shake my hand which hurt my feelings. To tell you the truth, inside it gave me a bad hurtful feeling towards american female clients, becuase they only shake my asian coworks hand and not mine, even when I held my hand out and they ignored me.

Other times, my philipina boss presents other american female clients to my asian worker and does present them to me. I complained to my boss and she says, that don't take it personal. To me handshake is trust and first impression counts

How would you view this?? I guess the american media causes hatred and distrust towards latinos because they always put us in a negative way.

Answer 1

I think there is possibly a problem with prejudice that you may not be aware of -- and even body language when being presented says a lot about the employee, client, or employer.

Why the prejudice against American Females? Being Older, I can remember my parents time -- my mother (Polish) had certain cultural traits when greeting that would be considered impolite in other cultures -- and did work hard at learning how to integrate in American Society. As a female myself (and one who served in the Military), I learned to shake hands just as any male would do upon a business meet/greet -- but not all females have that same experience in life, nor greet their counterparts in business the same way.

Don't take it personally, and try to understand that sometimes prejudice is presented by our body language. I just offer to shake the hands of anyone I meet/greet and during business transactions, because to me that is normal. For other females, it may not be. So be patient, do offer your hand in greeting, and relax. (PS -- I sometimes get mixed up also -- I am a natural lefty -- so I have to really think sometimes when I offer to shake hands!)

Answer 2

Yeah, blame America. That is hilarious. Perhaps it is all the Latino crime and the culture that reflects you in a negative way. Why is it that when Mexicans come to America, either legally or illegally, wherever they end up living ends up looking like Mexico(a big crap-hole)? How come they can't take care of anything?

I am just playing man, I'll be the first white guy to tell you that most white women can't tell a Mexican apart from a Filipino. They are not always Asian looking. Second you should look at other factors instead of jumping immediately to race as the issue. How are you presenting yourself compared to your co-workers appearance? Are you well shaved and is your haircut nice and clean? Are you dressed professionally? Do you wait to be introduced or do you take a step forward and introduce yourself? What technique do you use? Are you making eye contact? Also white females are not always the brightest bulb on the chandelier. So they possibly just didn't know they needed to walk around to everyone. There are alot of explanations. Don't blame American media for reporting what they see, and don't blame racial issues as the cause of everything unless you know for sure. It doesn't do justice to one's character.

(I am not saying there are not racial issues in America, I am saying they are not the prevalent cause of your misfortune.)

Answer 3

We are ALL victims of racism in some shape, form, or fashion, hon....your boss is completely right. You are better than these racists...you have to realize your own worth as a person and not let other's misbehavior dictate how you feel about yourself....you can choose to be hurt or to go on and give the problem of racism right back to them....they are the ones with the problem...you are above that...know that in your ♥ and move on...remember you can't change them....only yourself, i.e. your perceptions/reactions.

Answer 4

I suspect you are thinking too hard. Your boss (if she is any good at business) is doing everything she can to impress your clients and convince them your workplace is the right choice for the work they want done. If she's not a good boss and doesn't know her business, you should go work somewhere else!

You cannot control other people's behaviour, you can only control the way you react to it!

Answer 5

Hello Cannon1977,

You said that you cannot tell Philipinos apart from Mexicans?? I am white Mexican. My dad's family and my mom's maternal side are white with blue eyes.

Not all mexicans are dark skin. I have both colors in the family. White aqua blueyed relatives and brown relatives.

Well, anyway. I liked Democrat G's answer. But I what I did to make me feel better. I posted a picture my niece and her boyfriend that they gave me. They are in Mexico City. My niece is from my dad's side, Light hair color, aqua blue color eyes and light skin. Her boyfriend is dark skin with honey colored eyes.

I have it on my computer and it brings a smile to my face. Anyway, my wife is mexican with blond hair and green eyes. Born and raised in Mexico. I am very happy with my wife.

But at work, my feelings get hurt when I am not treated like one of the gang there.

Answer 6

I'm sorry that you have to go through that. I would rhetorically but politely bring it to their attention by asking "you don't want to shake my hand?" And with the boss situation, I would say in a fake but plesant way "don't forget about me over here" with a smile, as if you were joking but so they definitely get your point. I thnk if you are persistent things will definitely change. Hang in there!

Answer 7

Don't use that as an excuse for your own bigotry. America doesn't have a hatred and distrust towards LEGAL latinos, just the ILLEGAL ones.

Answer 8

Oh, good grief. Grow up. Your an employees; clients do not need to shake your hand, ever, unless they want to. Don't take it personally - or if you do, get another job.

Answer 9

Way too many American Women are without simple manners! Write them off! It is not a loss!

Answer 10

I know that hurt you felt when you are treated differently in a society with a lot of prejudiced people. A lot of people encounter those issues.