How do you know if a guy is really a pervert? I mean really?
No guy's a charmer apart from Ollie that is, he's great. But on the whole guys just act like pervets and hope you'll like that.
Stupid aproach really isn't it?
Well, guys can't leave you alone sometimes, and when a couple of them, or let's say your in a room full of boys ( like me two days ago) and they start being pervy, it's hard to tell when they've gone too far.
I always wonder how to act, how to get the simplicity of the word NO to get throught their thivck skulls, and all without over reacting.
When is too far?
When is it normal or really just pervy?
When should you decide they are not suitable for a friend? If you ever need to?
I'm completely stuck on this subject, can any help be recieved?
Gratefuly if so, thank you to anyone who replys .
XxXxX~♥ Fawn ♥~
2006-08-05 07:13:04 · 11 answers · asked by fawnrin 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
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You are looking at this wrong. You are allowing them to set the standards of how far. Your standard is THE standard. How far somebody can go around you is how far you will allow them.
You decide how you will be treated. Even if you had to leave because they kept going too far, then you are telling them, that you have a standard and whatever their decision is that exceeds that, you will no longer be a part of.
Take care of you. You set your boundaries. Nobody else should be allowed to.
Hope this helps. Good luck.
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2006-08-05 07:25:02 · answer #1 · answered by Alive and Well 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Umm, you are the person who gets to decide what offends you and what doesn't. It's called free will.
Yeah some guys can't get their minds out of the gutter. Some push the envelope way too far in hopes that you'll laugh or maybe that you'll react because your buttons were pushed. Of course, I have known women who were less than ladylike in their, umm, use of discression with certain topics. But I will admit that the perverted guy is a more established and expected role for the male half of the species, especiall those under eighteen.
If guys behaving poorly bothers you, try finding other guys who are nicer to be friends with. There are some, even in their teens who treat women with respect and dignity.
How far is too far? Well, you get to decide that. If you feel you are being treated poorly by the guys in question, you can choose what the lines are. Personally, I don't get too huffy about everything that is said that offends me, since sometimes those saying it are saying it just to get a rise out of me. But if you feel like they are treating you like a piece of meat and not a person, or are deliberately belittling you for their own amusement, then I say find other guys to hang out with.
What is important is how you feel about the matter. If you've communicated your discomfort to these guys and they don't give a crap, well, you have to ask yourself, "Are these people really my friends?"
Generally friends care about what they say/do about each other. Sometimes people can be fun to hang out with but that doesn't always mean that they're beeing a good friend to you.
As for communicating "NO" to a person. You are right, it is very hard to not overreact. So say no and nothing else. Ignore the banter, shrug it off even if they turn it into a joke or something more outrageous. Let them discredit themselves by going on and on while you say nothing and do nothing to validate them. If they ask you a question you can't ignore just tell 'em that they have said nothing worth commenting on.
2006-08-05 14:32:47 · answer #2 · answered by derkaiser93 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Frankly, my dear, I think it's time you started looking for a whole new set of "friends". Try the chess club or the debate club or any club where intelligence is required.
As for the current set you describe....how far is too far? Moving across the continent might be a bit much, but if you could, maybe you should.
2006-08-05 14:19:20 · answer #3 · answered by Granny Annie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When things go from "kidding around" to territory that makes you very uncomfortable, it's time to leave. If a guy is constantly making sexual remarks to you and really isn't interested in you as a person at all, he's obviousl y not "friend" material. Only you know what makes you uncomfortable. You have to trust your gut.
2006-08-05 14:19:23 · answer #4 · answered by clarity 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say thats up to your opinion. when it starts bugging you, hes perverted. I always thought the idea of a pervert is like, a peeping tom or sumthin but watever.
2006-08-05 14:17:57 · answer #5 · answered by Cole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sense it. BELIEVE ME. I worked with a guy that was always in my face and he made excuses to be near me and I felt uneasy and later he was jailed for child molestation.
I have felt uncomfortable around many men and learned that they had some terrible issues
One guy actually stalked me at work. He followed me around and waited for me after work.
It's just weird. Follow your instincts.
2006-08-05 14:19:31 · answer #6 · answered by HappyCat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Melissa...if it makes you unfomfotable it is too far; if they continue when told; they have gone way past the line.
2006-08-05 14:20:41 · answer #7 · answered by Greg Hegler 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
5 miles is too far.
2006-08-05 14:16:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When it starts annoying you in any kind it is far.
2006-08-05 14:19:03 · answer #9 · answered by volksbank 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when it makes you uncomfortable it is too far
2006-08-05 14:17:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋