Life is random
Your mom and dad raise you
You decide what you do
But sometimes they can't save you
Some people think mom and dad
Bother to much
Well too bad
They just care about you so much
Then you grow older
Now comes choices
The harder they get
The more you hear voices
Your concious springs
Straight into action
Now you really find out
That you get a reaction
You realize that this is life
Right now it seems hard to decide
In short time
You will find out what is right
Age comes by fast
Fun races right past
Your life is out of your grasp
Now staying young is too much to ask
That's life,we'll see it all happen
The times we've wasted with useless chatting
Get straight to the point, and do what you like
Soon you'll see what happens and say "Yup That's Life."
2006-08-05 06:35:06 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
i liek it..you are talentsed
2006-08-05 06:38:16 · answer #1 · answered by Rock_N_Roll_Chicky 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How can I be constructive when there is little to build on... if this were a "painting," the best that could be said, is that it has a 'naive' style. Next time you give "poetry a shot," please try to keep in mind the words of Robert Frost, "Poetry begins in delight and ends in wisdom."
After you've written a piece, read it aloud... the resulting sounds, and rhythms, and poinancies of your elocution must have a substantial impetus to move the "beholder" into the "sensibility" which you endeavor to portray. Reread this until it "sinks in" or is internalized, OR your attempts to write poetry that is substantive will continue to result in "stuff" that smacks of trite "mental masterbation." Sorry, I wish I could be a lot more encouraging... join a poety group and work to "hone your craft."
2006-08-05 07:04:04 · answer #2 · answered by cherodman4u 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not much of a poem but I could definitely see it as a rap for a lil' Romeo or Bow wow type.
2006-08-05 06:40:08 · answer #3 · answered by wittbelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It just does not make a good poem. Maybe lyrics to a song would better suit it.
2006-08-05 06:40:19 · answer #4 · answered by limeallure 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can find myself through the lines and i look back on those days...with sadness in my heart...but to quote F. Sinatra "that's life"
2006-08-05 06:46:09 · answer #5 · answered by olga z 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it its a good message and well thought out.
2006-08-05 06:38:39 · answer #6 · answered by muslimah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
original view on life! keep on writing
2006-08-05 06:39:32 · answer #7 · answered by annie - rainbow goddess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to work on your rythm... But other than that it's alright. the second to last stanza is good.
2006-08-05 06:38:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sing-songy. More like rap than poetry...
2006-08-05 06:39:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This one's a 'keeper' --- all the way to your great grandkids!!!
2006-08-05 06:40:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that was great thanx for the reality check(:
2006-08-05 06:39:40 · answer #11 · answered by RuKuS 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋