You're husband doesn't seem to be very considerate about how much work it is to raise your kids. Try letting him know exactly how you feel and that you need a brake. Sometimes people don't understand others hardships until they experience them for themself. Does your husband ever watch your kids while your away? If he doesn't then maybe he doesn't understand all that you do. Maybe you can convince him to go out every other weekend so you can also have some time to yourself on the alternate weekends. In my opinion, (since I am a guy), don't diminish his hobbies or his friends. It sounds like their important to him. Let him know that he can do those things, but also let him know that you have interests that you would also like to pursue and that your duties around the house don't give you time for those things. If he feels that you approve of his interests maybe he will be more willing to help you out with the kids. About the distance he seems to places between you two. . . well, many times guys have trouble communicating what is really wrong. Maybe he makes sarcastic remarks because there is a deeper issue he doesn't know how to express. A counselor could help, but I realize that is not probable. Try to find out if there is something else bothering him and take the first step to fix it if you know what the problem is. Finally, yelling never helps an argument. If your arguments end up that way, try a calmer approach. That may make communication easier.
2006-08-05 06:47:12
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answer #1
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answered by Metulhed13 1
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I answered a similar question the other day. In talking to men and father, especially ones with special needs. The men say they already feel like a failure. That somehow they have done something to cause their children to be this way. It's not that their ashamed.
Some men try to hide from the issues that are bothering them. Escaping every chance they get. Trips, boys nights out, etc.
They have also told me they get severely depressed. Men are problem solvers and when an issue comes up they can't fix. They ignore it like a knock in the engine of the car. Maybe if they ignore it, it will get better knowing it won't.
To him even though your voicing your concerns, frustration and feelings of neglect. To him you are the knock in the engine. Try a night out alone. assure him it's all about the two of you having a good time. Check your feelings at the door. Make it a first date. Hopefully you will renew the feelings you believe you have lost for one another
2006-08-05 06:20:11
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answer #2
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answered by Balou 3
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Perhaps he is having trouble with the fact that his 2 children are autism. I would take his suggestion and hire a sitter and go out too. If you just have 1 night a week out with your friends and/or family; what a break that could be for you.
2006-08-05 06:16:13
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answer #3
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answered by mary c 3
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Sounds like your husband isn't really pulling his weight as a father. Having 2 kids with autism can't be easy and it certainly is a full time job. You both need to be raising your kids together and also having time together alone to keep your marriage strong.
You need to talk to him and present how you feel to him in a calm and constructive manner. Let him know what you need and what you expect from him and let him know his kids need him around, not just you all the time. If he is reluctant to at least make an effort to change, you should consider getting into marriage/family counseling.
2006-08-05 06:09:59
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answer #4
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answered by Rawrrrr 6
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Well from what you have said it is apparent your husband really does not care about how you feel. Taking care of autistic children is no small task! Your going to have to get some money of your own so you can hire a babysitter and take sometime off because it is clear your husband will not help. It is sad when a man will help make the baby but will not help take care of them. Get your own money and plan your own trip!
2006-08-05 06:16:36
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answer #5
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answered by strawberries 5
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For some reason men feel like they can say whatever it is they want even when, knowingly, it is hurtful. When you are able to pick your jaw off the floor you should march up to him and ask why the hell he feels any more deserving of time off then you. Tell him you are sick of his games, and playing dumb in a conversation does nothing but hurt his credibility (playing dumb meaning the hire a baby sister comment). Sorry I can't provide better advice, it's just so unfortunate, does he blame you for the children's disorder, is that why he feels like he can be a jerk to you and to them?
2006-08-05 06:49:52
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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Usually I would never advise this, but your situation is drastic. So here goes, Sign up for a sex friends site without him knowing. Make sure he sees you on this site looking for other men. When he asks why your there, just tell him that you have been trying to get him to be a father and husband, since that hasn't worked, you're looking for his replacement. Or take him to councilling and find out why he's ashamed of his family. I truely wish you luck with your husband.
2006-08-05 06:22:08
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answer #7
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answered by william m 2
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my hubby goes on them hunting trips to i could not handle it at first but as time went on it got good not having him around u get use to it i don't stay home i go out with the kids why he is gone and enjoy if he don;t want to be home with u and the kids so be it go do your own s*hit don't stay home and come on here and wine about it girl enjoy it why u can that hes away from u u well enjoy each other more when he does come home hehehe
good luck
2006-08-05 06:13:23
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answer #8
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answered by vampgirl_00 3
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i like to tell the reality! It does result the ideas and damages it, the only subject is a guy or woman might might desire to smoke ludicrous quantities of marijuana daily for an rather long term in the previous considerable outcomes ensue it does result human beings distinctive as does sugar, milk, alcohol, espresso, nutrition, and maximum each and every thing. haha to think of that 2 joints two times each and every week might make you pay attention voices that desire you to kill your self and reason paranoia is approximately as dumb as atheists and christians arguing over introduction (we are able to all discover out sometime so the hating is pointless each and every person dies sometime.) and it does have medical reward, alongside with produce, hemp could be utilized for paper, and it lasts longer than paper from timber. a lot of alternative subject (i will circulate away source verify it out 60 issues atleast commencing from countless issues like nutrition to commercial products) please instruct your self in the previous you talk undesirable approximately something you do not comprehend (it quite is in simple terms like young ones cracking mom jokes they don't continuously even comprehend the others mom)
2016-12-11 07:19:05
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answer #9
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answered by ? 4
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Your allowing him to take advantage of you. It is ok sometimes if he wants to go out with his friends but you might want to think he might not be hunting he might be doing other things with them. Try to find a babysitter for yourself and have a girls weekend see how he reacts to that one.
2006-08-05 06:09:47
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answer #10
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answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6
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