My friend left for camp and came back with tales of a boyfriend she made that lived a couple hours away. The problem is, she already had a boyfriend. She broke up with her boyfriend for 5 months for the boy she had known for a week! I tried to persuade her no to, but she did anyway. well she didnt tell her mother (her mother is a completely phsyco path) but told us that she had. Then a couple months later, her mother asked her why she wasnt seeing Austin (her ex) anymore. well she flew off into a swirling tornado of lies, that got me and my best friend in a world of trouble. Now her mother (who has been best friends with my mom forever) thinks that I broke up with Austin for *no name* without telling her!! My best friend doiesnt want to be friends with her anymore, but its tough for me becasue I have been friends with *no name* all of my life. But now I'm starting to feel like I dont want to be her friend anymore either! Am I overreacting? Should we try to fix our friendship with her?
2006-08-05 05:19:38 · 5 answers · asked by a_anne92 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I don't mean to be cruel, but this will be direct and blunt:
First of all, a boyfriend of 5 months is not very long. Those relationships can be just as fleeting and disposable as this new one may end up to be. More importantly, it's her life to live, her boyfriend to choose, and while you may be concerned as a friend, once you've voiced your concerns for her it's time to back off and let her make her own decisions.
Secondly, her decision to lie to her mother, while hardly commendable, is certainly understandable if indeed her mom is a "complete psychopath" - which I'm betting is an overstatement if all the truth was out in the open, but that's another topic.
Finally, if in her "swirling tornado of lies" (which, by the way, is a vivid metaphor - good job) she assigned partial blame to you, the mature thing to do is to confront her on it and ask her to make it right with her mom. If she is unwilling to do that, then your "friend" is a liar who is willing to throw you under the train for the smallest of reasons, and YES, it's time to break off the friendship.
No one needs friends like that.
2006-08-05 05:30:21 · answer #1 · answered by Timothy W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was reading this and it made sense until towards the ending part with the friend of no name or something.
Well, you should not be blamed for anything that you did not cause. You should not place yourself in the middle or let OTHERS do that to you either. Let your friends know that you do not want to be included in these types of psychopath dramas. I would just politely keep my distance from these friends for awhile until things simmer down. I hope you have some other friends that treat you with more respect. I think this is just a teenage type thing that often happens to friends, but sometimes this stuff lingers on past that period in life. lol. So, do not become a part of this. If you show that you respect yourself and stick to what is important to you, then people will see you making your own choices and having dignity. In your situation, I believe that everyone is overreacting.
2006-08-05 05:31:35 · answer #2 · answered by just julie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are overreacting. First of all, this is more like a problem for your no name friend rather than yourself. If she is able to live with this, and is happy (in her own way), then you shouldn't take this upon yourself to "sort things out". If she doesn't want to tell her mom, and prefers to lie to her, then let her. It seems to me that you are much more worried about the fact that you, too, have to lie for her. This is what you should give a thought to. If she really is your friend, and you want to stay friends, you may wish to keep quiet and pretend you don't know anything about it, until she decides to tell the truth. Or, simply ask her, what is it she wants you to do, ie lie or tell the truth. This is about her, not you, so all you have to decide is whether or not you want to stick with her or not. Best speak to your friend first!
I hope this helps.
2006-08-06 01:55:20 · answer #3 · answered by Rachelgoose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to tell her to stop lying and come clean. I don't care how much of a psychopath her mother is (odds are you might think her mom is a psychopath, but she's really just a mom). She needs to tell her mom the truth and tell her why she lied in the first place (because she was afraid of her mom's reaction). Honesty is the best way to go - lies only make things worse!
2006-08-05 05:25:09 · answer #4 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, first: what u doing with this friend? a friend is supposed to listen or at less hear other friend's advise.
You're not overreacting, your right, she is so wrong!
second: you don't have to carry another person's cross on your back, she is gonna pay for that and you know it.
third: just stay a side from her relationships and then you'll see she's gonna beg for your advices, but...
DON'T HELP HER ANYMORE! you're 1 awesome friend!
2006-08-05 05:46:20 · answer #5 · answered by drawer2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋