ive been with someone for 3 years know. and hes not changing, hes selfish, mean, doesnt talk to me at all, and every time he comes home im so angry at him all the time for the things he does. i feel like he doesnt want me and i cant get him to talk to me im very lonely all the time. i just want to be happy. what do i do.
2006-08-05 05:17:08 · 9 answers · asked by dawn 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sweetie it will never get better. You are both just 2 different kinds of people and it seems like you are just not compatible.Just remember it is better to be happy and alone than with someone and miserable. I had to leave a 4 year relationship for the same reasons. It is hard but so is cringing with disgust everytime he pulls into the driveway.
Be strong, Be independent, and above all Be Happy, you deserve that!
2006-08-05 05:25:02 · answer #1 · answered by Em W. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Tara,
Sounds to me like your guy has some issues of this own that have nothing at all to do with you. I was in a similar situation myself for almost 19 years and I finally realized that a relationship should be a two way street and that in order for it to be a well balanced relationship it has to be give and take. Sounds to me like he is doing all the taking and not giving much back. I learned that you can't change someone who doesn't want to be changed ( they need to see it for themselves). The only way you are going to find happiness is to put yourself first here and take a stand for what you want. There is no reason why you should be lonely and I think it's time you said enough is enough. I did after almost 19 years and it has been the best thing I ever did. I am in a loving relationship now and he is still going from girlfriend to girlfriend, with each one experiencing the same things I did. I even had one call me once to ask me how I did it for so long.So you see it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with what's going on inside of his head. Don't give him the power to suck the life out of you ( trust me it will happen) stand up and say I'm not going to take it anymore!!
Good luck
2006-08-05 05:37:19 · answer #2 · answered by Connie C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make a list as you started above.
All the reasons you Love him?
All the reason why you dislike him?
Once you make this list compare them.
Why would anyone want to share their life, ( you only have one of) with someone who is selfish, mean and won't talk to you.
Any person yourself included deserves better than that.
As for the changing????? It is hard to teach an old dog new treats so to speak.
Pick your battles. Asking someone to change and expecting them to change is not a good idea.
You can make suggestions like, Honey can you please pick up your socks? Or put the toilet seat down?
But asking someone to change their personality, morals, standards, and values, is not going to work for you or anyone.
Best of luck to you
2006-08-05 05:27:07 · answer #3 · answered by young at heart 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you putting up with that kind of relationship for? You cannot change a man!!!!!! He will continue to treat you that way if you are allowing him to. What are the reasons you are mad at him? It would all depend if it is small things your getting mad at maybe you need to lighten up. If it is big things like not coming home, staying out late,doing drugs or drinking then you should move on go to councelling and see why you are attracted to men like that.
2006-08-05 05:32:12 · answer #4 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure he's only treating you that way because you derserve it. You seem like a really annoying, whiney *****. Just do everything he wants you to and try not to get in his way. If you please him enough maybe he will finally be nice to you. Maybe you should let him donkey punch you. Whatever you do, don't yell at him or give him attitude. Just treat him with respect because you're only there to serve him because your not a good person on your own. As it stand now you don't deserve to be happy.
2006-08-05 09:08:04 · answer #5 · answered by asdfs a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out of this relationship honey. Staying in a relationship which offers you absolutely nothing in return is a waste of your life force and energy. If you stay in it forever, one day you will wake up an even lonlier woman than you are now; one with regrets and anger that you didn't leave when you had the energy to do so. So leave, get out, move on and find your path.
Leaving is hard, but staying in a lousy relationship is harder. It will affect you even more than it has now; you will get more depressed and will probably isolate yourself more eventually. This isn't worth it because LIFE is simply TOO SHORT, and wasting yourself on a man who seems not to care is a useless waste of time and emotional energy. Relationships are about GROWING together, working together, and not what you described. You deserve a love that is real and life affirming; one in which you feel alive and engaged in it, happy and content. But hanging around waiting for him to change means that you think you deserve less. But you CAN DO IT, and you can find the love you deserve. I did.
I was married for 10 years to a man who made me feel lousy about myself, and who put me through so much stress it made me sick (ulcers, stomach problems - you name it I had it). He was living a double life and I found out about it. I put up with his crap for 10 long, painful years, until one day I realized I had to get out - he was getting increasingly more violent towards me and his behavior was erratic. It was either me or him, and since I wasn't about to kill him, even though I wanted to, I decided to leave and end the marriage. I left, reinvented myself and was happy as a clam. It was very hard but it was the best thing I ever did for myself. It took courage, strength and will to get through it, but I did. Six years ago I met my second husband on line. Since we were both in our mid forties and had lives before, we got engaged quickly and married 6 months later. People thought we were nuts and that I lost my mind, but we proved them wrong. We are happily married.
Find your voice. Find your life. Own yourself, and get out before you emotionally die inside. I was ALMOST THERE honey and I was heading down the road of depression and isolation, but I had enough strength in me to get out, and I soared. Do it. It is an amazing feeling.
2006-08-05 05:44:10 · answer #6 · answered by Sweet Pea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer you left to my question: Sorry, but I know he aint cheating on me so you can talk all that **** all you want, but I know what he does & he isnt cheating. For your question leave him then, maybe he is cheating on you, but don't want to leave you after 3 years.
2006-08-05 08:58:19 · answer #7 · answered by Peaches06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
may be its time to accept that he doesn't love you. or you can make a list of reasons why you want to be with him and why you don't. that can help you decide.
2006-08-05 05:22:26 · answer #8 · answered by climb_n_dive 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no brainer
2006-08-05 05:26:18 · answer #9 · answered by SHINE 071371 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋