my husband of 38 years,is always in the pub?

Question

i left him and he promised that if i came back he would stop ,he did for a while but then went back on the drink,how can i live my life without being stressed,i have to earn my own money by washing pots and pans while hes slugging beer.my family are all away

i try and save as much as i can,to see my [grown -up ]children.its on his best to buy a newspaper,during the week .by nature im quiet maybe to quiet but enough is enough.

his age is 61.im59,look about 40 odd married ---------38years.

i,mreasonably inteligent ,i have one son a solicitor one a financial analyst and a daughter an accountant,ive done my best i looked after my invalided mother for years until her death

Answer 1

1. Get him good and drunk;
2. Tattoo or paint a dart board on his back;
3. Push him into the pub without a shirt on.

Once he gets hit with a few darts, he won't want to go to the pub.

Answer 2

i tried this question before and you took it off,
from your question i get the impression that you suffer from a low self image ,is that how you really see yourself, as a drudge, then if that is the case how do you think other people see you.
there are two ways to beat the drudgery of life, 1, get a job in a pub away from his local, dress up at every available opportunity, make him see in you the thing that attracted him in the first place.2.
you have been down the AA road and its not worked, do you honestly think that he will change, if you see hope then help him to change do this by suggesting alternatives to the pub,
is it beer that s the reason or is someone in the pub.

make him realise exactly what the alternatives are stop being the rubbing rag ,there to be walked over, withdraw your labour one at a time , spend the money what he would spend, if kids are involved dont take out on them, if violence or threatend violence is involved leave him immediatley, good luck, be strong

Answer 3

He is an alcoholic and he on his own terms has to get the help the only thing you can do is suggest he seeks help by going to AA. You should not nag him to go all the time because that could also make matters worse. There is a place called alanon that you can go to do deal with his alcoholic issues. He probably really wanted to stop drinking for you but he has an addiction and like I said he needs to want to quit for himself. He may think he has not hit rock bottom yet and is in denile. Touph love is hard when you left him before you should of waited and seen if he was going to AA before you took him back.

Answer 4

It's obvious that you two have different interest. While you, I suppose, prefer staying at home, watching tv or reading something, he prefers going out and spending time with people/friends. You might try to change something with yourself. Why don't you go out with him sometimes? You might suggest him a deal: every evening something else! One evening, you both stay at home and the other, you both go to the pub or elsewhere.. That's the way, how you will be both satisfied and that's what is called compromis.

Answer 5

oh honey, well listen carefully. go bak to him IF he has good money, and cheat him wit another. try to be happy, use the house as a hotel,and dont c that drunk man..
IF u hav children try to love him,its important that u and him r romantic parents.if he is a liar and will continue to drink, so let him drink.
or JUST leave him, and find a rich man.
he is 38 and i think ur younger then him, so enjoy life, dont continue life wit a drunk man..
if ur ONLY problem is that he go to pubs, so giv him interest and much love so that we will forget about the pubs... let him drink at home.
or pray to God.
be a STRONG woman. ok?

Answer 6

Maybe you should accept the fact that he is an alcoholic. It is very likely that this is the rest of his life. you need to take care of yourself first. try to find something physical to do to get rid of the stress in your life and help with your happiness. maybe get a different job as well. good luck.

Answer 7

Let's face it, he's a pig. And none too intelligent either. I mean, have you heard the rubbish these "pub regulars" talk to each other?

Just a thought , you're sure he IS in the pub aren't you?

Dump him. That's my advice anyway. Get your self respect back.

Answer 8

Tell him to get out and get your own life back again, he ain't gonna change he has already proved beyond doubt that he is too selfish to ever change for either himself or for you.
Move in with one of your children for a while if its too difficult to get him out of the house, I am sure they will understand and not take sides or ask questions if that is what you want.

Answer 9

Go get a good college education and join a solid, well-paying Fortune 500 company. Your problems will be solved.

Answer 10

why not talk to him and tell him to go on separate ways, if he goes again with his drama that he will change his way, then tell him you'll stay if he will let u mange both your salaries and he will have only a pocket money enough for his personal expense-this way he may go on going to pub but he can go to pub too much since he has limited resources.

Answer 11

you have got to leave this man. You need to find yourself, have the courage to go on your own. This man only thinks about himself. Get some dignity about you and do something for you. You are a grown woman who has nurtured your children to fend for themselves, take a leaf from your own book. LIVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!