This is only the second night in a row this has happened but should I read into it? I know she is depressed and I just wish there was something I could do but it seems like anything coming from me is not welcome or not sincere. I can say stupid things to make her mad but I do appauligize and try to correct my misusage of words to express myself , you know how guys are good at putting there foot in mouth. I just want her to have closier with things and be able to throw things away that need no attention. I try but she runs, She doesn't trust me. What should I do?
2006-08-05 03:35:24 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are probably appearing to not be very understanding or empathetic to her. When you say you want her to have closure and be able to throw things away that need no attention. You can only decide those things for yourself. She may feel differently. When you want her to be over things, it is because you are over them. That does not help a person move on. She is a person and she needs her thoughts, beliefs, experiences and feelings validated by you her husband. If you are telling her how you think she should feel or think or react, you are taking something very important away from her. She needs your emotional support. Be there with her, be patient, be understanding, be forgiving. You can do it. I have great hopes for you. Good Luck. Oh one more thing, trust has to be built. Like anything else. One action, one truth at a time. Be open, be honest, let your actions match your words. It will not happen over night or with one instance. You can get there. Try to remeber how far you've come, what are the successes in your relationship. Focus on those and keep being there for her. You will be successful.
2006-08-05 03:48:08 · answer #1 · answered by whostolemyprofile 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if you apologize, it doesn't necessarily get rid of her pain. If your saying "stupid things" happens often she's probably in a pretty contstant state of fear that you'll say something like that again. And it sounds like you may have some resentment toward her that you're expressing indirectly with those comments, another reason your apologies don't ring true. I think you need a counselor or someone else who is objective to help you both work through these issues.
2006-08-05 10:48:15 · answer #2 · answered by byama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest trying to sit down with your wife and finding out what's going on. Before you go assuming something major is up since it's only happened twice talking might save a whole bunch of problems before you go assuming something is wrong. If she is upset about something LISTEN to her, don't just nod and put off what she's saying actually hear the problems. You can even suggest councelling when it comes down to it.
Good luck
2006-08-05 10:44:33 · answer #3 · answered by christina s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
uh oh.....did you have an affair that she found out about? There has to be some reason that she suddently decided to sleep with your daughter, other than you. There's a reason she doesn't trust you....and I believe only you know what it is. If it's nothing that you did, then the two of you seriously need to talk to a marriage counsellor. That might help! Good luck to the two of you!!!
2006-08-05 10:42:24 · answer #4 · answered by trueblond195 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to back off just a little bit. Show her with your actions. Buy her some flowers. Maybe even chocaletes. Better yet help her around the house maybe with the dishes or laundry. Actions speak louder than words.
2006-08-05 13:12:27 · answer #5 · answered by girlpower 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say she doesn't trust you. Why? Did you do something that would make her feel that way? If so, you'd better have a talk. If you cheated it will take awhile to regain her trust, if you ever do. Best thing, OWN your feelings and let her own hers. When you discuss your problem use "I" words... I feel that you don't trust me, I feel tension between us...NEVER EVER use words like; YOU ARE attacking me, YOU are being sullen..try, why do I feel like you aren't happy? or It breaks my heart to see you looking so sad......ALWAYS be HONEST and non-accusing. Best of luck!
2006-08-05 11:00:44 · answer #6 · answered by Happy Hag 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you two need some one on one time to just tell each other whats bothering you.hold her close and let her know you love her and what ever it may be bothering her you need to know because you love her and care for her.try not to say what ever you say that hurts her the next time and maybe she will sleep in the same bed.i just hope its not too late to let her know cause this doesnt sound good.wish you luck
2006-08-05 10:55:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must have cheated on her or made her really mad.
2006-08-05 12:34:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
mmmm, well, i slept on the sofa for six months before my divorce. It was because I didn't want that jerk to touch me!!!!!!
2006-08-05 10:47:20 · answer #9 · answered by angie devine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it means she has issues.
2006-08-05 11:09:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋