if i love a man older than me by 13_14 yr what will i do , he don't know that i love him ,we both r very good friends, and he is my tution teacher, also school's teacher(sir) u love him from 6 years but don't know how to express my feeling , i am an indian and bengali. I truly love him..... what to do as this may be our last year of meeting,i am a 10th class student (girl).
2006-08-05 03:14:46 · 7 answers · asked by Anjali S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Age isnt a concern when you love someone
2006-08-05 03:18:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anjoli, Contragulations for taking a bold step for sharing it. I am a bengali myself and kinda understand where your hesitations are.
Since you are 10th grade, I am assuming you are about ~16 and your teacher (lover) is around ~30. This not really too bad, specially those old days when women got married when 10~12 and men were 18~25. So as far as biology goes, I do not see much problem. BUT, have you thought you education. You are 16 and you have atleast another 18 years to go for where you want to be be. Do you want to get married before finishing up your education? Can your teacher (lover? ) wait till you finish? Do you think you will even like him after 8 years? There are lot of question that you need to ask yourself. I know love conquers all, but be realistic. Think about your future, think how your parents will take it, think about financial situtation too. A school/college teacher does not make much in that part of country. ( My father was a high school teacher). After thinking all, make a decision. If you want to go ahead with it, take the next step. Try to findout wheather he has already someone. If not, go ahead and express yourself. Since you started loving him, then you should forget about the teacher student respect relationship thing. Be stright and tell him. Be prepared if he rejects you, this is not the end of the world. He might merely rejects you because he does not think he can wait long for you.
Whatever the outcome is, my blessing is with you.
-Guru
http://bengaliguru.com
2006-08-08 20:16:31 · answer #2 · answered by flash1444 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason why you are asking what you should do already means this is a hard decision to make because of its complexity.
Why is it complicated? Not just because he is 14 years older than you, but because he is your school teacher.
Have you ever had a previous boyfriend? If not, you probably don't know what true love is (excuse my boldness, but i have to give an opinion), because you said you "loved" him for 6 years, that means you "loved" him since you were around 10 years old?
I suggest you wait until you are 18 before making any real decisions on your relationship with your teacher. Go to university, go out to the world, meet new people and broaden your horizons. After that, if you still have this strong love feeling for that man, then it means you love him.
2006-08-05 10:23:42 · answer #3 · answered by seeker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For a girl, its ok to fall in love with an older person (esp for a life relationship), that's normal, but be sure its love and not just a crush.
If He is mature (not just age, but character) he'll know how to handle the situation.
I dont know much about tradition in india but my impression is that ur society is a very traditional one, if u r mature enough, u can broch the issue by asking him indirectly how he feels about a relationship where the guy is 14yrs older than the girl and u can start from there.
I had an experience with a girl almost similar, we r friends now, she's married now and lives in the states, while am far away in africa. it made my day knowing how she felt and i felt priviledged to be so loved.
2006-08-05 10:24:43 · answer #4 · answered by lifejourney 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I share your feelings. I to was in a realtionshiip with an older man.
I would say, don't take it so seriously, it's just a crush, but six years is a pretty long time. If he knows that you care about him, that's great. He probably won't show you much affection other than friendliness, cause he could get in trouble and lose his kob and go to jail if he did anymore. And you would'nt want that would you! So make sure you tell him how much he means to you, and ask if he can e-mail you or write you all the time, after you are apart. Who knows, if you keep this friends thing going, anything can happen in a couple of years!
2006-08-05 10:21:48 · answer #5 · answered by NY Lady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't go off running to his home and giving him a little more than you expect. If you know what I mean, because it would be a rapist type of thing. When you are a teenager and "love" someone older than you, you have to take precautions. When you are older and you love someone older than you that's different. In my opinion I really think you are a to young to actually know what "love" is when you haven't had an experience with "love."
2006-08-05 10:23:54 · answer #6 · answered by pixelpinkprincess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that u are confusing ur feeliongs perhaps, maybe u c him as more of a father figure u know? idk excatly wjhat the situation is but maybe u should just try and forget bout those feelings i mean ur only in 10 grade
2006-08-05 10:53:06 · answer #7 · answered by chrissy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋