should i encourage my boyfriend to come out to his mom too.?

Question

i havent done it yet, but plan to. im only 14 too and hes 13

Answer 1

Whoa, you guys are kind of young for that aren't you

Answer 2

He has to decide for himself, as you may have for yourself. Sometimes I think 13 or 14 is too young to even KNOW for sure if you are gay, but maybe not, I have some friends who say they knew they were different when they were 5 or 6, and by 14 sure as heck knew all about what that difference was!

But as I tell every young person who asks, assess the possible range of consequences. What will happen if you come out to your parent or parents? If it is likely or even possible that they'd throw you out, or make life so miserable that you'd have to leave, you're in no shape at 13, 14, or 15 ...even 17 or 18, to make it on your own, without an education and a job. If mom is likely to be supportive, that's a different story. But at your ages, there is no hurry.

Answer 3

Hi Zac,
Think about this for a minute... At your age, your parents' can still ground you or forbid you from seeing each other, or even pack up and move to another town. The same goes for his parents. If any of that happens, you will feel like you are dying. So, it's best to enjoy each other and keep things the way they are.
Unlike a lot of these people, I don't think it's a phase. If you are gay, you know you are gay... but your mom probably doesn't tell you what she does in the bedroom, so why would you want to tell her what you do in the bedroom. If you plan on going to college, away from home, your boyfriend can come and be your roommate, and maybe then you can tell your parents, that is, if they haven't figured it out for themselves. Thanks for the great question.... maybe it will help other young people, also, that may be too embarrassed to ask. Good Luck....

Answer 4

Sweetie, you some good answers here. Listen to them. Call the gay center, the gay hotline, and PFLAG for some support. Don't come out to your folks yet unless you know for sure that they will be supportive. Bad things could happen and then you've have no place to live. Don't encourage your b/f yet either. Get the support you need for the time that you will tell your family.
By the way you are awfully young to be so concerned about this. Please be careful. If you are messing around, use protection. Better yet, you shouldn't be messing around at this age. Please make the calls and talk to someone who can guide you on your journey. It's a big step. Be good.

Answer 5

Wait a few years, as everyone else has said this could just be a phase. It is very rare that a person comes to label their sexuality at such a young age. I would wait until you are 16-17. Sure, coming out will make things easier now, like going to see him , etv. But in reality, our youth nowadays is trying to grow up so fast that they forget to stop and think. I am 16 and I still haven't come out to my parents. Only come out when you are positive about your sexuality, and you think your parents will understand you and your reasoning.

If you are 14, they may just say it is a phase. If you are 16 and liking a guy, you will have two more years worth of knowledge and coming to terms of your sexuality, hence a better chance of being accurate.

As far as your boyfriend goes...When he comes out (which shouldn't be anytime soon based on what I have said), You should be there for him, holding his hand, helping him face his parents. That is about all you can do as far as someone elses coming out procedure. Just be there for them, let events unfurl, and help as much you can.

I hope this helps,
Russ

Answer 6

I don't think that would be a wise idea. When my sibling came out about being bisexual at 16, she had told me two years earlier, my parents almost died! I would wait a few years...to make sure you have a place to live, and aren't in a stressful situation when you tell them. Plus, you shouldn't encourage other people to come out at this age, it's just not a nice thing to do. Everyone has their own time for things, and maybe it's just not his yet.

Answer 7

No.

Coming out is something personal and a decision for each person to make when they are ready. He is the only person that knows his parents and you should not 'push' him to do something he is not ready for.

I have an old saying that I have learned from experience, 'don't come out to your parents until they come out and ask you if you are gay.' I'm serious because a lot of the time, if they are not ready for it, they will have a hard time accepting it. If they are to the point that they are ready to ask you then that means they have thought it over in their minds and are to the point that they are ready to accept the answer that they already know.

Answer 8

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AkCI6kUizUHpuWUwlMwUt2_sy6IX?qid=20060731200701AAenlF9

I touched on this earlier before. Above is the link.

No. Your boyfriend could be kicked out, put in front of a Dr. to be turned straight to you name it.

I think he shouldn't tell them until he is on his own and can pay his own bills. At the very least he should wait until he is 18 and is of legal age. If he is going to tell his folks after 18 and he is not on his own yet - he should have a back up plan on where to live and work.

Answer 9

I have to agree with everyone else, you both are very young, most people do not even come out till they are at least 18. You want to make sure that you are both gay and not just experimenting with something that feels good.

Answer 10

I agree with Brandy, Y'all are a little too young and maybe it's just a phase you are going through. Or maybe you are really gay but wait until 16 or 17 so you will be really sure.

Answer 11

You cannot make your boyfriend come out to his mother - that is his own personal choice.

You can be supportive towards your friend and respect his decision (tell him this), and also offer support in the event of him deciding to come out to his mother (or anyone else for that matter).