my friend is 21 and she is involved with this married guy ( he's 36) and no matter how much anyone talks to her she does not listen her mom found out and asked her to end it she even asked the guy because he is a friend of the family. My friend has left home and is stayin with one of our other friends she has stopped talking to me because she told someone i was jealous of her relationship. the thing is i am friends with the guys wife too should i tell her or just leave it as it is?
2006-08-05 02:42:08 · 45 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he also has 2 children (girls 8 and 10) and his wife is 6 1/2 months pregnant. And my friend ( well former friend )says she wants to carry his baby
2006-08-05 02:43:42 · update #1
The wife has a right to know, whether or not she's pregnant. I was the wife with the young mistress sleeping with my ex-hubby and although I was devastated, I was better for it and so were our children. You don't have to say anything if you are uncomfortable, but speaking as a former wife of a cheater, I'd suggest that you somehow confront the wife either verbally or better yet give her pics of them together and let the wife do what she thinks is right. I wish more people would tell the wife / husband of an adulterer that their spouse is cheating. It's the right thing to do.
2006-08-05 02:48:37 · answer #1 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 9⤊ 3⤋
If someone "threats" these two people: "if you don't quit this relationship, I will tell your wife", the two lovers might want to:
1. End the relationship.
2. Make the relationship even more secretive.
3. Alope.
Maybe that is what they really want - that his wife should get the information. That way, she must take a decision on what to do:
4. His wife decides to leave the cheat.
5. He makes a final decision and leaves his wife and children.
The sad part in this act is his children. Besides from his wife they are the third and innocent party. His wife is grown and she can handle it - I think she deserves to get to know. Nothing is more humiliating than other people (all the others) knows this before you do. And the children - they are much more voulnerable than she is. Being as now - lots of people allready knows and talks about it - how are they to handle it getting to know it from someone else?
Your poor friend - she can insist on this relationship, but in the end she will end up the ... whatever. She gets all the negative publisity and she gets no "feeling sorry for her"-attention in the aftermath. Either way she will get the tough outcome. If she gets him or not. Being as his wife is pregnant and all, I'd bet he will leave your friend sooner or later. He is like any other men - the actually don't leave their wife for a mistress. It's the madonna/whore-complex. Madonna for children, whore for sex.
If you don't want to be a part of this scheeme against his wife, you either tell her nicely or you withdraw totally. Tell your friend you cant handle this - it is beyond your moral acceptance.
Good luck and best wishes to you.
2006-08-05 02:53:45 · answer #2 · answered by Tones 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
actually I personally would tell the wife she does not deserve that ****. as 4 the xfriend she was never a friend 2 begin with n is a scandelous whore any ways since she does not have the self respect 2 stay away from other peoples property. the husband is a total loser n a few other names that I could think of but do not have a week 2 sit here n type them all. good luck n try 2 be there 4 the wife she is the victim in this and its gonna hurt her like nothing else when she finds out.
2006-08-05 02:46:22 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Geo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really not your place to say anything... but I would.
First, since this "friend" of yours isn't talking to you, don't worry about her. I wouldn't worry about the guy either. I would be concerned for the kids... I would tell him, "Listen! you have 2 kids and a third on the way. you better figure this out right quick, because if you don't WHEN (emphasize the word) your wife finds out she is going to take EVERYthing. Now, go home to your wife. If you don't I WILL tell her what a dirtbag she is married to."
It may sound harsh, but it really ticks me off that a guy would be cheating on his pregnant wife. Not that it would be alright any other time, but she is in the process of carrying his child for crying out loud!
2006-08-05 02:49:13 · answer #4 · answered by Robb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When someone is convinced that they are right, no amount of friendly advice (especially unasked for advice) is going to change their mind. The more people tell your friend that she is wrong, the more stubbornly she is going to hold on to her point of view. It sounds like everyone has done all they can to dissuade her.
Here's the thing: The guy she is involved with is 36 years old with a wife and children. He should be the mature one and break it off, or risk losing his family. He must be immature as well.
2006-08-05 02:48:14 · answer #5 · answered by Nefertiti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, it sounds like your friend's mind is made up about this, so at this point you're probably best off just to stay out of it. These things almost never end happily, so she'll just have to learn the hard way what a bad decision it was.The guy she's with stands to lose most of his money and custody of his child if his wife ever finds out and it goes to court in a divorce proceeding, so she may end up with that on her conscience for the rest of her life. Additionally, her name could get dragged through the mud and she'll be labeled forever as homewrecking you-know-what. At least then maybe she'll be smart enough never to do it again.
2006-08-05 02:49:22 · answer #6 · answered by Schleppy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell the 21 year old to open her eyes and to get some selfconfidence.
Tell the wife the same - but do not get specicific (- as in your hubby is screwing a young chick - ), the cad they are both doing is digging his own grave.
It would also be wise if the women considered the fact that he may very well become a carrier of a zillion nasty sexually transmitted diseases because they are probably two of many.
Fidelity is a safety issue today as well as a moral one.
2006-08-05 03:07:22 · answer #7 · answered by stealm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love the stay out of it answers, this is total crud. You do what you hope others would do for you, you tell. I suggest you do it a unsigned letter of some other way but you do it. If you talk now there may still be hope for the children involved to have a mother and a father who raise them together. Its none of my business is a total cop out for people who are afraid to do the right things in life. Can you really call anyone your friend if they held this info from you?
2006-08-05 03:01:31 · answer #8 · answered by sweetness_is_all_me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do me a favor and leave it along and there is no reason to tell this lady she will not leave her husband and then you and her and her husband will have a big fight and this is not going to stop him or her from seeing each other. Let me tell you something **** stank please live your life to the fulless because we are not promised the next minute. She will have to learn on her own because she does not hear you at all. I am a older women and I promise you she will see it and all you really can do is just be there for her when she needs a friend because guess what she's going to need one really bad. This man is not going to leave his wife repeat this man is not going to leave his wife.
2006-08-05 02:52:32 · answer #9 · answered by sxydiddie905 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately when someone wants to ruin their lives there isn't much you can do. I suggest you take a step back and let it play out and just help everyone pick up the rubble after-wards.
The wife and kids will suffer, your friend will suffer when this all comes to light and trust me it will. If, however, you are the one to tell, you stick yourself right in the middle of everything. Stand back and let it happen on its own and be a friend when it is over.
2006-08-05 02:49:31 · answer #10 · answered by Christina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋