Flirting.....?

Question

Little dilema here guys, maybe you can help.
My gf/finace of 5 years recently admitted to me twice, she like to flirt at work with guys. that really upset me. She said she has been doing it for a while, and at the same time she defends herself, and also says she loves me and I'm the only one for her, but she said she will not stop flirting. Am I wrong to think that she is getting the attention from me and other men now, and comes home happy to me with them in her thoughts, that's very hurtful. i will always think I'm not in her mind when we are doing things, and it's them.
Help!

True guys, its harmeless, but I dont flirt, I asked what if it was me doing it. I got no answer. But the ego boost she is getting is not from, the energy will be used for me but coming from that outside source, adn what if these guys are twice her age? I was also told, the reason I was not told she said because she knew I would get mad, and some things that she knows would make me mad she said she would keep it to herself, but then again other times she tells me things that happened that make me upset. So whats so special about this time that she thinks its better to keep it hidden, right? Unless this IM and emailing and flirting is too sexual verbally, not meant for me to see. Besides I dont flirt, i dont need to, and by her doing it i have told her, hurts me.
what do you guys think?

and this guy happens to be twice her age, has had affairs, and is single.This is the one emailing, IM's, others I dont knw about.

dociletooth, what did you mean by that, is she looking for someone else, is that what you meant, because she is not in love?

I have a feeling she is still getting mails from this looser, even though she says she is not, and I have alot of doubts in my mind, she wants more attention from me, and I have a hard time knowing this situation. I know she is pretending to love me, and all, maybe she is not, I dont know, but I know now I have many questions. She told me she should have just kept it all to herself, what do y ou guys think?

Answer 1

Watch out flirting leads to hurting

Answer 2

Look- I have a married man flirting with me at work- for 14 months now-- believe me, if I said "lets go right now" he would!! I never flirted when I was in love- your girlfriend is looking and not for you, I promise- and the work guy is looking for an easy mark--plus- a 5 year waiting to be married==nothing but a mess and no wedding!

Answer 3

Why does she feel the need to flirt? If she knows it hurts you and she continues to do it, she has no respect for you. Now, we are all human, and men and women alike will look at other people. I've learned that. But, for her to blatantly say she won't stop flirting, I think that's wrong and very harmful to your relationship. Take this as a sign; don't marry this woman. She's letting you know point blank where she stands.

Answer 4

ok lets start here, flirting is OK!! Its a habbit that is hard to break. I have been married for 1 year and with him for 4. I am a huge flirt at work and so is he. Even when we are together he flirts and i flirt with his friends. Its OKKKK i promise. When she comes home, is she coming home to you? Or another man? And so you know, im willing to bet that while she is at work, all she thinks about is you and how she cant wait to come home to you. Flirting means nothing. I have never cheated and never plan on it either. We love eachother unconditionaly, but flirting is something to do to keep your mind sane. I work till 3-4am and im tired. That is the only think that is keeping me going sometimes. I promise that she loves you and that she only wants to be with you. Now if she is cheating with them you would know. She would start acting really distant from you and never home or making excuses on why she needs to go "out". I think that you just need to calm down or your going to be the one who hurts your relationship.

Answer 5

I'm sorry but if this lady has no regard for your feelings you do not need the pain that goes with heart ache. on the other hand have you considered the poss ability she is fabricating these stories in attempt to get you to pay more attention to her needs? either way brother it will never leave the back of your mind once the trust is broken it is very hard to overcome. move on with your life head held high, trust me if she loves you, the moment she finds out she no longer can manipulate your life she will be there.

Answer 6

flirting is fun- get over it, flirt with other people to show her how it makes you feel- the truth is the more you complain or whine (that's how she will se it as) the worse it's going to get between you two- she should just stop out of respect for your feelings but the only way that can happen is if you step up to the plate and do all kinds of romantic things for her to show her how specail she is to you, then she will feel guilty and stop or just plain won't feel the need. romance and attention,the 2 biggest things girls want

Answer 7

just talk to her, you should be able to tell if she is lying by now, 2 wrongs dont make a right, dont do as she does just to get even! that is bad advice! ask her straight out if she is willing to stop, or find another job! if you cant live with her answer let her go, you deserve someone who respects you, but, if you are willing to accecpt her for who she is then get over it

Answer 8

grow up man. Atleast she is true to you and admits she does flirt but not at the risk of loosing you. Cheer up man, if she is true to you go on with the relation ship.....

Answer 9

If she really loves you and you told her that it bothers you she should stop inless you are doing the same stuff

Answer 10

Maybe she is just so bored with her job.