im insecure, i no that, i admit it! iv been thinking of all the things to complete my outer beauty so i can feel secure on the inside, i have thought of growing nail and hair, losing weight, wearing lil clothes, any ideas???
2006-08-05 01:04:10 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Hang around with lots of fat and ugly friends
2006-08-05 01:07:51 · answer #1 · answered by boobookittie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might think this will help, but it won't. You actually have to start on the inside and work your way out. Become comfortable with who you are as an individual, and you'll realise what's on teh outside doesn't matter so much. People are generally attracted by confidence rather than looks, strange as that may seem to you.
There are some people who are wild and confident and wear the most outrageous clothes that no one else could pull off, with the most bizarre hairstyles and makeup, but because they've got the confidence, it suits them!
What I'm trying to say is, if you're confident, it doesn't matter all that much how you actually look, as long as you're clean etc.
This sort of thinking is what leads to people having thousand and thousands of pounds worth of surgery to alter thier appearance, and ending up looking utterly bizarre, when they were a more attractive person to begin with.
You need to start with what's inside.
Sounds hard doesn't it?
Start listening to the nice things people say to you. Write them down if you need to so you can keep track of them. Ignore any negative things people say (Yes, I know how hard that is).
Everyday, flick through the nice things people have said to you, and remember them being said. It will make you feel a little better, a little stronger. If certain people in your life are very negative towards you, and make you feel down about yourself, either tell them so and hope they change, or walk away. You need positve influences.
Listen to music that makes you feel good and hold your head high whe you're out. It will make you feel a little more confident.
Stop thinking everyone is looking at you for all the wrong reasons, and start thinking they're looking at you for the right reasons. It will make you feel better.
Slowly you'll build your confidence, and you'll realise you don;t need to change your physical appearance, you're lovely as you are.
Gal pals shouldn't judge you on your appearance, and the right guy will always love you for who you are, and not just how lovely you are to look at.
I know how you feel, I'm very insecure myself, and trying to take my own advice here, but my lovely bf is making me feel much better. And he loves me for who I am, so I know I'm right about that.
Cheer up hun xXx
2006-08-06 04:30:10 · answer #2 · answered by old_but_still_a_child 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there is one thing that I have learnt then it is that strength comes from within. Altering your appearance to try and please others will only lead to misery. You have to stop trying to want to please others. Don't give a damn! Your mother gave you the body/personality you have so be proud of it! Try not to read loads of magazines advertising skinny, attractive people as this will only undermine your confidence. The same goes for certain TV programmes that will knock your confidence. Secondly, remember that everyone is a little insecure - some are just better at hiding it than others!
Practical things to do include joining a martial arts club like kickboxing - its great for the confidence and tones you up a treat!
2006-08-05 05:22:00 · answer #3 · answered by Squiddly Diddly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, try making great eye contact with people and then simply smile................ okay, that may be a mountain to climb for you but take it a little step at a time ........ kick the consequences into touch because whatever happens on an individual basis, each time you do this you will be boosting your ability to take on the world and you will get better and better and better. Your smiles will become more and more confident as will your inner spirit ... and what a wonderful way to get back something from people ............. their smiles back to you. Eventually, you will start feeling so warm about life, you inner self will glow ........... and you will start to get the kind of spiritual security that you seek. Good luck .........
2006-08-05 01:16:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg pleeease dont feel insecure
i had a emotional breakdown a couple of months ago because i felt the exact same way as you
but heres my advice this is what to do
talk to someone close to you and open up on how you feel as i did before it got further with theire help you will know what to do and also you will find someone who likes you the way you are and dont change for anyone if you want to stay that way stay maybe someone will like you because you look the way you are
do things that make you happy and hang around with friends and do things you enjoy and go shopping and honestly you will feel better
if you are a teenager then its a stage everyone goes through and you WILL get over it
xxxxxxxxxx
2006-08-05 01:13:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go see a shrink, you are a person who needs help inside not outside. Take pride in what you are. Look at Marylin Monroe, she was so insecure she was constantly having surgery to correct flaws no one else saw. She was one of the best looking women for her time yet was very insecure. Looks aren't everything, it is whats inside that counts.
2006-08-05 01:12:27 · answer #6 · answered by redhotboxsoxfan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't work on the outside - work on the inside.
Trying to gain a sense of security through outward appearance is a failure waiting to happen. Some day you will look like Tammy Fay Baker.
You really need to get an attitude like this...
Here I am world Love me or leave me, and if you don't like something about me, TOO BAD...
2006-08-05 01:59:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
work on your self esteem, some of the most beautiful people on earth are insecure and feel fat and ugly, some of the most ugly people have more confidence than a supermodel. write a list and ask friends to identify your good qualities, why they like you, why you like yourself. and build on these.
get yourself some long term and short term goals, decide where you want to go in life, what you want to be and concentrate on these, this will not only give you something to focus on but will also give you something to feel good about and give you direction.
By focusing on things such as appearance you risk becoming very superficial and losng who you are in place of what you look like.
2006-08-05 03:09:58 · answer #8 · answered by softly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My love, you will never achieve security by perfecting your outer beauty. Peace of mind comes from inside yourself, self-respect, people who care about you for things other than your physical appearance. Relax, and be more relaxed with people. Don't be insecure and they will respond differently to you.
2006-08-05 01:09:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
love yourself, you shouldt be insecure, ive been there, im not the prettiest person in the world but nor am i ugly, love yourself from the inside out, i bet you are a really lovely person and so you should not worry about what other people think, think of number one. only wear clothes you are comfortable in because your confidence will not show through otherwise
2006-08-05 01:09:35 · answer #10 · answered by charlotte66621442000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesn't matter what you do on the outside, you will still feel insecure on the inside and it will show.
sort out why you are insecure and things should easier.
the best way for people to like you, is to be yourself... dressing up and putting on an act really won't work.
2006-08-05 01:28:48 · answer #11 · answered by sofiarose 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋