Should I feel bad about my decision?

Question

Ok, I am 18 years old and I just discovered that I'm pregnant. I'm not dating the father (he's a friend) and I have made the decision to keep my baby. However when I eventually told him about the pregnancy he told me that he had just recently started "seeing someone". I feel really bad about what I want to do...but I know I want to keep it.

Answer 1

Why should you feel bad that you want to keep your baby? He helped make that baby, it is not as if you got yourself pregnant, and if he has a problem with you wanting to keep it then he should have kept it in his pants!
If you want someone to talk to just e-mail me, I know it can be stressful to be pregnant but you will be just fine. Relax and enjoy your new little one. If he is too immature to do that, then he can go fly a kite!
I just wanted to add after reading some of the thoughtless comments on here that even if you do not want to raise the child yourself, there are a lot of awesome couples out there that cannot have a child of their own. Please consider that option before you would ever consider abortion.

Answer 2

This is very tricky. The father has already told you that's he moved on. That means you will be a single mother at the age of 18 or 19, a commitment for the next 20 years or so. Do you have family and have you told them? Have they been supportive? How far gone are you?? This is a very important decision that you are making and a life-changing one. It is crucial you get some advice and support as it appears the father does not want to take any responsibility. That means you will be accountable for the welfare, upbringing and cost of raising the child, and no one else.

You should not feel bad about your decision if it is the right one for you but remember you can't go back on it once it's too late so think carefully and make sure you have some support behind you.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Remember, you will be on your own when it comes to parenting the child. None of these people who advise you to keep the baby are going to come to your support. They are doing so based on their emotions. They have not asked you what is your social and financial condition. Only based on emotions ! By keeping your baby you are not only puting yourself to a task but also making things stressful for the baby. Have you asked the baby? Can you? Every baby has right to have good family, good bringing up, education, good nutrition and all. If you are sure that you will be able to provide all this the the baby, then also you will have to think that what if you feel getting married after a few years? Will you find someone who will marry you with and accept your baby as well? Or after giving birth to this baby all your sexual desires will come to an end?
Remember, there is difference between a mother and a woman.
I wouldnt mind if the father would have died of an accident when bboth of you were planning for a kid. But it was both of you who did it for fun only. Not to become parents. It was your mistake not to take precautions. Dont make the baby pay for this.

Answer 4

Don't feel bad....you have a gift from god......with this question i truly go both ways....forget about the father...and what he thinks...if you keep him the blood will call him...meaning his child will call for his father instincts...do you like to go out?..are you working or going to school?..are you an outgoing girl that like to hang out with your friends?..do you like to dress nice and slim with the latest fashion?..are you always on the go?..if you keep the baby..do you have moms or family that would help? or everything will be on you?..it's sad to be pregnant an alone in the begining..or without the baby father especially...it feel's good to have someone rub your belly..message your feet , go with you to the lamaze classes. it good and feel good to have the baby daddy with you...all threw the pregnancy..i wasn't that lucky when i first got pregnant at 16 no baby daddy....BUT I DID IT AND I SURVIVE..I HAVE A HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA NOT A GED AND I HAVE A COLLEGE DEGREE..MY SON IS NOW 25 YEARS OLD..these are just questions you can ask yourself...if you keep the baby...it is a lifetime decision..keep the baby..and you can do everything only later on...you have to take care a baby 24 hours 7 days a week..if you are ready for life to stop for you know..then i said go for it and have it.....if not...god will understand...and just be careful not to get pregnant again..i used the iud for birth control and i did not get pregnant for 15 years. with the..iud ( birth control) only .wish you the best ...good luck with whatever decision you make..

Answer 5

its a very good decision to allow a oung-life to enter the world.

although i can't say what the situation aound around u exactly is, but i'd definitely say that 18 is MAYBE not the right age to have a baby.. i'm sure u wish to continue further with ur education..

as per the baby's father is concerned.. try and get him to realize that even if he's started "seeing" someone else, he should atleast shoulder the responsibility of his own kid.. i'm not saying that he dump his current girl and come to u.. but he should atleast agree that it his responsibilty too and he must do his part.

if he tries to shy away, i think maybe aborting the baby is a good option, coz MAYBE u're too young for all this and may not be able to take care of him, enough of which is required.

All the best. Always remember, do whatever u think is better for u. Best of luck.

Answer 6

You are right to keep your baby, and about him, who cares... Love your baby and put him on the first place in your life. If you have family ask them to help, if they don't want to, find some kind of shelter, but never ever give up on your baby and don't feel bad you made the best possible decision.

Answer 7

Keep the baby! If he wants to be a father, he can. If he doesn't, raise the child for yourself. Single moms make it all the time. My best friend would have been an abortion baby if her "father" had any say in it. He even gave her mom money for the abortion. Instead, she just went on her merry way, had the baby, and used the abortion money for clothes. Her mom never saw him again, and prefers it that way.

Answer 8

circulate to the reunion. in the journey that your loved ones can no longer help with paying for airplane tickets (i'm particular they'd be sympathetic on your situation), i'm particular he would be high-quality at thechronic. My husband and that i drove from CA to FL (5 day out) with an infant. It wasn't roses the entire way yet we (and our infant) survived. i'm particular a visit to Denver won't kill all people, in simple terms verify you take a while whether it potential the trip will take longer than 12-13 hours. relax stops and snack breaks would be your pal. And it fairly is a kinfolk reunion. I mean except this is a few thing that occurs usually, you will must be there.

Answer 9

Congratulations, precious!!! There is a little sweetheart growing inside of you that is a big piece of you, a big piece of God and 100% blessings. Keep your baby girl and don't you feel bad for one second. Email me I will send you a care package... I was a single mom from the age of 21 to 33. Bless you and your baby!

Answer 10

ok, lets all jus be more realistic. lets leave the emotional, the father, the religious part or watever aside..

first, you are only 18.
are you already financially stable? eg, u got the extra money to provide for the kid? if u fall sick? the money to see the doctor? education? n im talkin about EXTRA CASH. not just alright to get pass a day..

second, wat kind of environment are u creating for ur baby? healthy/unhealthy? or u are goin to leave ur baby at home all the way till he/she is old enough to tk care of herself while u go out n make a living?

third, there is too many things unexpected u will face. is not those fantasy sitcoms u see on tv... not those, u got baby. u stay at home, tk care of her, (u forgot about the hse work! the bills! n goin out to the groceries?)

even if u have ur mum n dad to help u, how long can they do it?

fourth, when ur kid grows up, the moral values n educational values? who will be there? n u forgot abt gettin into the rebellious teenage period?

fifth, i know u wan to keep it, but be realistic, is not about killing a life, but also ruin your kid's life. be more responsible... there is alot more than you think.

n honestly, i know u wan to keep it, but u can have it when u see someone u love, get married, n have babies at that time.. there is no rush to it. u will provide a better family for the kid, cause it comes from within.. when u feel gd, u do better or even excel..

so im really against all odds.

*i believe in god, but is about, who will be really there to give me a hand when i really desperate for help? is all about yourself again. n i still believe, as long as the heart is not yet created, i will go for the abortion, cause i dun wan my kid to grow up one day, being a gangster, or a steal, or watever.. i wan time for him..

is still up to u. good luck.