He is the only friend I have that I can connect with. We talk about everything, and nothing. He is supportive and understanding, but will tell me if somethings not right. After he married, and I went to college, we sort of lost touch. Now I yern for his friendship, but am afraid to call him up. His wife my not want me around, and I do not want to interfer with any thing. But out of all of the friends I have had, none has been closer than him.
2006-08-04 21:00:05 · 35 answers · asked by izellasmith 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Sad to say, unless the wife is utterly naive, totally mature, or a swinger, she isn't going to dig your presence. She probably wants nearly 100% of her husband's leisure-time attention, and if he gives some to you, it will hurt her. Remain rare acquaintances, but move on and find somebody else to make friends with.
2006-08-04 21:06:07 · answer #1 · answered by Hector Rolle 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Leave him alone........He has grown out of that so called connected friendship with you and now has a wife. Move to the future and leave the friendship alone. If it's meant to be that you meet up by chance then you can confide and tell him how much you have missed his friendship. Whatever he responds respect it. Don't make it more than what it was and don't you dare come across as a NEEDY lonely person. For some reason you can't bond with others, it's either by choice or a flaw in your personality.
2006-08-12 08:49:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best friend since highschool has been a male. I was in highschool a very long time ago. He is married has kids and grandkids but is still my best friend. I know his wife and her and I are good friends. She does not feel threatened by the friendship I have with her husband. She knows that he had a life before she came into it but she also knows that she is the one he goes home to and she simply isn't that insecure to be jealous.
2006-08-04 21:37:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best friend is an ex-boyfriend who is now married, when me and him were together she was his friend and i did not like it so much but all of my friends are males so what could i possibly say. My friends would come and pick me up from the house we lived in and he used to feel that it was disrespectful. Anyway, he is married to this chick now and we still speak on a regular basis but his wife does not know we are not ever intimate at all although he wants to be i can not do that to myself or him. I think you should talk to your friend and maybe you could go visit them with your bo so they know you are not after him for a intimate relationship you just want your friend back i think you should pursue your frienship best friends are not easy to come by.
2006-08-04 21:11:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Myabe he'd be cool with it but if I was the wife and we've been married and I had never heard of you and you just popped up out of nowhere there would be several problems. Especially if you called all the time like friends do. Maybe if you met her first and allowed her to get comfortable with you. He may not feel the same way about you either. his wife may be his new best friend.
2006-08-04 21:07:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think you should connect with the wife first so you can gain her trust then you might want to talk to them both openly about some personal issues and who knows you might actaully be able to become best friends with both of them. I imagine by this time she will allow you to talk to him 1 on 1 But not too much or else she might will get jealous so share things with both of them but a little more him so you can keep contact well good luck -k
2006-08-12 13:40:44 · answer #6 · answered by jj 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends on his wife if she is too jealous then you can't be best friends like before but if she just understands the meaning of a simple friendship so everything is ok, cz your friend won't change his friendship feelings towards you unless his wife wanted him to do it.
2006-08-04 21:05:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes,of course.I suggest you should keep in touch to this long,lost bestfriend of yours to catch up right away.
Not until this bestfriend of yours will initiate to a total stop to your friendship will you also start to just back-off because you had become a major threat to their marriage for instance.I'm sure he'd be happy to welcome you back in his life.Just don't expect too much from him now since he won't be alone now--he had his wife now too to consider as to wether or not she would find it acceptable for him to develop same closeness like before to you.His wife may take it lightly or she might get inferior with your presence so it would be best to keep your mind open all the time and never allow him nor you to fall into attraction and crash the marriage he and his wife were trying to strengthen while you weren't around.It wouldn't be fair to anyone ..not to her, not to him, not to you.Life's a constant change and among that is his marriage to her.With or without you,they are building a family of their own so respect that.Accept that you are not the apple of his eyes anymore but still you are important to him.
Something in her that made him take her for a wife so don't rock that ever if you're welcome into their lives.You do that and you'd just put extra honor to your name as his best friend for life.
good luck!
2006-08-04 21:30:08 · answer #8 · answered by cascadingrainbows 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be sure to befriend the wife on a certain level first and share with her the stories of much of your shared history with her husband so she'll understand it's more of a brother-sister type relationship. Hopefully then she won't feel threatened by it. She should always have the option of joining in when you get together with him, so it never seems exclusionary. She probably won't want to, because she doesn't go way back like you do, but she needs to know she is always welcome to. That's the only way this type of thing ever works.
2006-08-12 20:40:27 · answer #9 · answered by Rvn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was THEN. This is NOW. Do you feel you could become friends with his wife? Could she be a very nice person, too? If you are uncomfortable calling him now because of your past feelings for him and if he is not willing to introduce you to his wife and encourage friendship to develop between you and her, then you will need to find a new best friend whom you will be as close to you as he was.
2006-08-04 21:13:30 · answer #10 · answered by Jess4rsake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can be friends if thats all you want. Get to know his wife on friendship basis be better if you had a bf tho. Friends are for ever, let him decide its up to him to tell his wife that you were good friends willl be difficult if you were once a couple. Your friendship may not be as close and personal as it used to be.
2006-08-04 21:05:58 · answer #11 · answered by a mother 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋