What to do when your husband doesn't pay attention to you?

Question

My husband doesn't pay much attention to what's going on with me at all. He's tired when he gets home. He'll go talk to a neighbor or work out with a friend. He's a great father, but it doesn't seem like he has much interest in me, if any. I've told him many times I need more attention. He thinks it's always drama with me, but I just don't think he listens to what I say, so whatever I say is too much for him. He doesn't hardly touch me, much less kiss and when we do something it's about once, twice, maybe three times in a month. He's say I never initiate, but he doesn't either. It seems like he'd do anything for anyone, but me. I have to tell him to get up to go to bed and then he thinks I'm yelling at him. If I wouldn't have said anything he wouldn't get up on his own. He just difficult to talk to even tell him how I'm feeling. He just gets mad and goes to sleep. I want it to get better. I just get frustrated because I try to talk, but it just ends up with a fight. Help

Answer 1

You tell him you need more attention. Guys don't understand what that means. Guys who come home tired REALLY don't understand what that means b/c they shut down when they get home. Tell him you need more kissing, more sex, more him. Be specific. Tell him that instead of hitting the gym, why don't the two of you go upstairs for your own workout. Instead of telling him to go up and go to bed, flash him and smile. If he doesn't respond to any of this, he's either dead or an a$$hole and you can and should do better. He's let himself get too comfortable in your relationship and you need to insert a little more mystery in the relationship to try to make it new again. If he's not receptive to your advances, you should find someone who is.

Answer 2

Well us as woman have a certain expectation out of our relationships and I myself have gone through this exact samething and I still am , I try to do things differently now, like when I know I'm going to say something that he might take the wrong way I try to give an explanation before saying it so that he can know that I'm not tryin to ***** or sometimes I dont say anything at all if its really not worth saying. I also try to dress sexier in the bedroom and do things that I know use to turn him on, that works as well, you shouldnt have to change who you are but when we get married we change without noticing it and that can distance a relationship you want to be able to do some of the things you did that made you want to be with this person or marry this person I know it sounds stupid but it is always the little things that can make something better just as it can make it worse. It takes time and trust me it gets frustrating but he'll see that your not saying little things and he'll notice you more in the bedroom. I hope I could help sorry if I didnt
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Answer 3

OK Jules, first of all you have to understand that it is rather difficult to judge on a certain matter,when you hear one side of the story only. But from the facts you gave,I can suggest the following :

1 - If he treats you like this,you don't ask what is wrong with him,find the inner reasons that forced your relationship to take this down slope.
2 - change your attitude towards him,and at your home in general ; be creative,funny,make a constant change of atmosphere,let him say : Gash !!! what happened to this woman ? he will become more and more attached to you !!
3 - OK he comes home tired,and maybe he does not feel like doing anything. Try to spend some extra time together with the kids - like going for a picnic or something - and because he is a great father,use this point,to get close to him,"AND FORGET ABOUT YOUR NEEDS FOR A WHILE" !! Because fixing your family matters comes first !!!
4 - If it happens that he decided to tell you about a certain problem,that has been a pain in the a$$ for him,try to show your positive attitude,contain him,make him feel that there is always some one AT HOME that he can count on.

well Jules, these were the best ideas I could help you with depending on your side of the story. Best of luck to you.

Answer 4

Sometimes people get in a slight depression or just get tired of the same routine. Maybe try to find an activity that both of you can do and have fun with eachother. You could try and spice up the love life a little to make it more interesting. I've heard that couple retereat really help bring you closer togther. It sounds like you have confronted him about you concerns. If not let him know that you just want to make sure that he knows you still love him and desire him. Ask him if there is anything that he is willing to do to try and rekindle your marriage. Maybe ask him what you can to do to confront him with problems without semming naggy to him. Communication is so important you have ot have it in marriage or it will not work. Say a prayer and good luck

Answer 5

I'm so sorry to hear your story but what I think you should do is wait one and sit in the front living room with the house dark and candles lite and every thing and when he walk in the door have your makeup and look all cute and juck then you walk up to him you start kissing him. He pick you up and take to the bed room and if you get your buggy on that mean he just want to have a more intersected life but if he stop in the middle it means he's guy or he's not in love with you any more or he's sleeping with someone else and he's trying to hide it. But if you ever need any more help email me at [e-mail]!

Answer 6

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RE:
What to do when your husband doesn't pay attention to you?
My husband doesn't pay much attention to what's going on with me at all. He's tired when he gets home. He'll go talk to a neighbor or work out with a friend. He's a great father, but it doesn't seem like he has much interest in me, if any. I've told him many times I...

Answer 7

First thing to do is be understanding and tolerant with him. Fighting with him isnt going to solve any problems. Try and set aside some time for eachother. What you need is some time alone, to re-connect. During other days, be affectionate. Dont wait for him to initiate, do it yourself. Simple things like kissing him in the morning and anytime you see him, will make a big difference. Affection, tolerance and understanding is what you have to focus on. I hope I helped. Good Luck!

Answer 8

This is very hard. It sounds like you married someone that you thought would change after you married him. Unfortunately that's not how it works. I would suggest family counseling and couples counseling. Try to be overt about your attempts at intimacy to get him into the mood. It sounds like you need to be the aggressor for at least a little while to renew the passion. Good luck.

Answer 9

what u need to do is stop feeling sorry for ur self and turn the tables. start paying attention to ur self. start going out with ur friends on the weekends. and he'll start wondering the same thing.

Answer 10

hey try to keep your cool.be patient.you cannot handle all this with a hot head.try to be polite n sweet.try finding out y he is not interested in u now.try speaking this out to him without offendinng him n his feelings show him that u love him & u care for him a lot.just softness n little more love will help.n stop crying &complaining to him about what you want let him,himself realise what you r to him.just make him speak out his heart to u without u interfering in between.& then tell him without complaining what u expect from him.