My daughter has this boyfriend they are really young and i got on the phone one night just to see what they where talking about and he was talking about sex not anything x-rated but sex. so i hang up march up stairs and tell her to get off the phone. I yell at him and tell him never to speak to her again. Shes pissed. Did i go over board?
2006-08-04 19:32:29 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
She's 11 years old he's 11 turning 12 this month
2006-08-04 19:39:43 · update #1
UMMMM HELL NO YOU DID NOT GO OVER BOARD.. she is your daughter & you hav eevery right to tell her what ever you want to tell her & you have every right to eavs drop on phone calls read diarys etc... especially with her being young I wish my parents would have done it to me..
2006-08-04 19:39:26 · answer #1 · answered by bite_me_harder_28 2 · 7⤊ 4⤋
my mom accidently recorded some of my phone calls (because of a custody dipute with my brother and an automatic recorder). that's how she found I was having sex. I hated her for doing that. I also got over it and was actually grateful and relieved that she knew. I think you have every right as a parent to be concerned about what your kids are doing. Now I am a mom of 3 and realize just how good that did me. There are some limits of course, like reading a diary, that you shouldn't do. other than that you should do everything in your power to help your child who right now doesn't know what's best for them and doesn't know you do. besides there are very few reasons to be talking about sex and your actions are what a mother should do. but you should also let her cool down and in a non confrontational way, talk to her about this. now is your chance.
2006-08-04 19:43:32 · answer #2 · answered by mom_to_4_i_adore 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You lost control and her respect. Now she may run to him for comforting instead of you. You can actually push them closer by trying to break them up. Be careful.
You need to realize that kids are extremely interested in sex. They see it everywhere on the media. Many talk about it but the smart, mature girls with good values and a close relationship with their parents are actually waiting until marriage.
You need to realize she is a young adult have responsible, mature conversations with her. Ask her opinions on sex and boys then tell her your beliefs and wishes for her.
Good Luck,
2006-08-04 19:37:03 · answer #3 · answered by Plasmapuppy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope you are having a series of very serious talks with her - about all kinds of things, from relationships to sex. You should not be allowing her to have a boyfriend at this age. If you need help, look in your community for parenting classes.
2006-08-05 00:20:19 · answer #4 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have done what a responsible father should do. Now that you have detected, you have to go slow and tactfully. You must be very friendly with her and gradually let her know through good literature about sex, its need and its limitations in life. You have also to keep in mind that she has to be married off after which she can experiment all her knowledge and curiosities in this field.
2006-08-04 19:44:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well for them to be so young and not teenagers yet I think you did the right thing she will be pissed but in the long run she will look back on mama and say thank you for saving my life because while he got someone else pregnant it could of been her struggling at that love hurts but it will always be there because you always got your family.
2006-08-04 19:47:21 · answer #6 · answered by Britney G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, yes. Although I can understand why, no one wants to hear their child talking about sex to their boyfriend. Instead, you need to sit her down and talk to her about why it freaked you out. Start by apologizing for your behavior, but then tell her how you feel. Ask her if there is anything she needs to share with you and maybe she'll open up about it. But screaming and yelling is only going to push her farther away, and embarrass her big time.
2006-08-04 19:39:33 · answer #7 · answered by Lindsay M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
11 and 12...
Well, that changes my original first reaction...
You are totally right. Soon, however, the methods (eavsdropping, cutting into her relationships and yelling at the boy) will be unnaceptible. Talk to her.
My mom didn't talk to me, thinking it's too early. One day, I shocked her by telling her Ummm, mom,I got a period... Mom, you know what it is, I don't need to explain you... She had to swallow "birds and bees" story and kinda go from there.
2006-08-04 20:10:40 · answer #8 · answered by Snowflake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A little. If your daughter's 13, I can understand, but if she's 18 and talking about having sex, that's different. Sit her down and talk to her about it.
2006-08-04 19:38:33 · answer #9 · answered by matt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eavesdropping is a bad habit.. But as a father u r curious abt ur daughter.. Talk to her.. And let her know the seriousness of the matter and she will surely come to ur side.
2006-08-04 19:38:15 · answer #10 · answered by sunil s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you are right by letting them to know what they are indulged in is wrong, at this young age. be friendly with your daughter and explain her in kind words, there is lot of time left for her to have or talk about healthy sex, this in fact shows perversion. i think she will understand you and cooperate. you tell her that at right age she must get married and settled down, till then she can enjoy her life having lot of good friends around and engaged in her career.
2006-08-04 19:42:14 · answer #11 · answered by shankari n 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋