Deppression. Anxiety, Lonlyness?

Question

Ok, im 18. i was raped last september, was in foster care a long time. seperated from abusive mom and druggy. Family hates me, my gramma is dying, i feel like i am too, im sad inside, and i just kinda want somoen to cry on, but there is no one there, im all a lone. counselors cant do it, family wont, friends, what friends? i just hurt inside, and all the memories from my past boggle my mind, molestation of brother and babysitter, and uncle, abandonment of dad, gosh, sometimes it just seems so overwhelming. and i dont know what to do. i guess i i will just keep crying or kill myself. whatever kills me first

Answer 1

If this is a true story... you have had a bad start to life. Hopefully you can turn it around and don't give up on people.... There are some good ones out there...

Answer 2

Hello Amanda,
Unlike some people I have no reason to doubt your story.
That being said, I must tell you that what ever you are doing now about it is not working so you need to make changes. Not physical changes but in the way you view and think about things.

You may not believe me but you are still fighting your past.
You will never win that battle, ever, because no matter what you do you cannot change the past.

So now knowing the past is always going to be there you have to learn how to deal with it so you can move on with your life.

You need to accept the fact that bad things have happened, and you cannot change that. But, they are over with now, they won't hurt you any more.
It is a very sad part of history but it is still history. Just as if you were reading about WWII in a book, it's done and the bombs stopped falling...

You know that the people that did these things to you are bad people and that NOT ALL people are bad.

The best way to help you understand this all is by talking about it. BUT, not to a councilor, "but to a victim"... You become the councilor !!! The more you help other girls through a rape case the more you do for the both of you!!!
THIS IS THE TRUTH, "Ironically the best way to learn is by teaching"
Be a crisis hot line volunteer, because no one can truely understand what it's like unless they have actually been there.

Now is also the time for you to decide if you want to press charges against the people that did these things to you. If your brother is still in that situation I would absolutely be at the Police station right now. I would not want my Brother to be getting abused if I could put a stop to it.

I can not change your world and make it all better, I don't know any one that can do that, "except yourself."

But I hope that you will at least try the things I have suggested

Answer 3

Actually I was child abused I know that feeling it's like when the depression hits it is like you can't sleep the mind won't shut down and all the bad things in your life hit you at once. Well Hun if it helps you any I'm at least twice your age survived it and here's how. 1: Forgive those who hurt you, not for them but so you can heal. But do not let them hurt you again. Use your position to your advantage study hard do good you will qualify for grants.... all you have to do is apply all the pain and all the hate in you in to one goal. Who do you want to be. and take baby steps in getting there. One semester at a time. Nerd friends are cool. They make good grades can help you study and usually get good jobs own their own businesses and are good connections. Redirect your hurt and your pain show these people what you can be not what they have made you be. Chat anytime I'm your friend. You can listen or do it my way and learn it all the hard way, work, go to school, raise a kid...all at once or do it right the first time. Military if you can make Doctor or a job that keeps you safe is good paying, education paid for look at all the opportunities you have your young I just wished I could give you my past for just a little while so I could point you there but it truly up to you:-)

Answer 4

Well, You know I'm really sorry you're feeling so bad.
Sounds like a truly tough time you've had.
Did you go to the police about the rape? I hope so-but if not tell me why if you want to.
Here's what I think. There are really 2 realities. One is the world-seems cold-is cold-objective,lonely and pretty vacant.
The other- a world that I HONESTLY think is just as real- is a world with GOD-a real God that interacts with us. Personally, I believe In Jesus Christ as God. I know I might sound like a "Holy Roller" bit I'm not.
I just think that maybe you might consider putting all of this horrible stuff at His feet-give it over-let go to HIM. I know that he wants us to ASK-cry out-you will be heard. Then as you grow the world will seem different to you. You'll see yourself,and all of the bad that you've been through as an opportunity to help someone else-someone hurting like you-save a life.
You must get up-try to trust Jesus-and move youre life forward.
I will always answer you if you need help. Seriously.
I've had some pretty aweful things happen too. And sometimes I get scared and I just want to give up-BUT I can't. -Our lives,the actual gift of even BEING alive-is a gift-we must try.
In the spirit of Jesus Christ-I love you.
Reach out-if not to me-someone-DON'T YOU DARE GIVE UP-We need you.
Christ Bless you,
Terence M

Answer 5

Amanda, as hard as your life is (and it sounds like it has been a doozy) no one has ever gone on record for crying themselves to death. These people that have been in your life have done HORRIBLE things to a child (You) that had absolutely no control over her situations in life, and you had to just endure all of the abuse, and I know that sometimes, it just gets to be too much. I was also suicidal when I was a teenager, I was also abused. The wonderful thing about all of this Amanda, is that this is YOUR LIFE. You are now 18, and you have the right to do whatever you want with your life. I suggest going to school as far away from everyone that you can, and establish yourself as a new person. Join a church, they will also offer alot of support and guidance. You have the power to make your life as beautiful as you want it to be. PLEASE don't let the actions of people that have hurt you take away the greatest gift that you have ever been given...don't let them win. IM me if you need to talk more. Hang in there, there is more to life than what you see right now.

Answer 6

You have a lot on your plate . I am so sorry that all of these things happened to you . It is important for you to know it's not your fault . There are places you can go to for counseling in all of these areas and it takes time for the feelings to resolve themselves . It will take time . Find a trusted adult or family member to help you to get to a counselor that will give you help .maybe you can talk to that person too . I know how angry you are . I know ,
This is also a good time to get into your spiritual self , try to do things for your self ... You are a changed person , but you can be strong on the otherside of this mess . I really hope you seek treatment . Are there Woman's Health centers where you are ? Rape crisis centers ? Local hospitals ? You're scared and hurting , I am sorry this happened to you and will ask the Creator to give you wisdom and peaceful healing ......

Answer 7

I suffer from the same thing. Mind you, not as bad, but just from the first three words that you typed. I'm sorry that that has happened to you, but you must not let $hit like this get you down to the point where you want to kill yourself. Just try to remember that old saying, "whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." I've had depression and anxiety all my life, and without it, I wouldn't be the strong person I am today. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 8

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I wish I could help you. I'm sure everyone has at least one friend, you just have to find them. I could be your friend, I'm very trustworthy. The best I tell you is to work hard and have faith...in God, in life, and for the future. I mean you won't get no where if you just sit around and do nothing. I also suggest you listen to some really cool positive or medicore music...nothing negative. That's what I'm doing now. If you want to talk to me, my E-mail address is [e-mail]. Peace.

Oh, listen to good, comfortable music. Also go out to someplace where you can relax and feel free from society. Also find a fun hooby to do. Keep yourself motivated and occupied.

Answer 9

you are indeed strong to face life after what all you have gone through. I wouldn't be in a position to even ask for help. Think of life as a chance to do something, rather than what others can do to you...i know this is easier said than done. But all the bad has come about by what others have done to you and not of mistakes you have made....your dignity is defined by that. It is intact my friend...living without dignity and self respect is tough. You are in much better shape.

Take one step at a time...put your life together....i can pretty much assure you that the future holds great promise for anyone who takes the first correct step.

Dont give up ... there are times when you think through your brain and times when u think through your heart. Use both to make a place for yourself in life...a place from where you can prevent the recurrance of what happened to you...to happen in any other childs life....think about it !

Answer 10

Life can be tough and it sucks when sh***y things happen. I know all about that kind of stuff. I went through many tough times much like you are now. It is good that you are talking about it. I would suggest to continue therapy and maybe find some kind of self help group to join that deals with the abuse you went through. I know it seems like nothing will get better but things like this take time. Please hang in there. Maybe the struggles you are going through now will be a way for you to help others when you get older.