After the baby my husband wont have sex with me?

Question

i gave birth 7 months ago and my husband told me i never should have asked him to be in the delivery room And now he sleeps on the couch...Help..... I love him wiyh all my heart What can i do to get him to return to our bedroom?

Answer 1

That is what you get for not Adopting

Answer 2

Actually happens more than you think. Some men get really intimidated seeing this "huge" precious creature coming out of the same place his comparatively "small" precious part is supposed to enter and still satisfy you. Really! It is also harder for some men to accept for awhile that those beautiful breasts that he once worshiped are now his child's bottle. Has he told you what his feelings were in the delivery room that are keeping him away? If you can get him to tell you and talk that over that may be all that's needed. If he can't talk to you about it try to have him go see someone for the sake of your marriage. Or demand it. 7 months of his issues when you're trying to deal with your child is really unfair. What is going on is not your fault. You didn't say how he interacts with the baby. I hope all is well there.
My thoughts are with you and the best of luck. I hope you have some kind of wonderful support group around and are not going through this alone. You deserve it!
M

Answer 3

Hi he can be brought around. Give him some time. and let me tell you that some men also feel jealous of the new born infants, because just before delivery of the kid, they are treated like kings and are fussed upon. but after a kid's birth their needs and likes and dislikes take back seat preference. make him understand that he is still the most important person in the world for you, pamper him humor him. Also give him more time and attention. Devote some time exclusively for him. Dress attractively for him, in short make him aware that he is still loved as he was previously, or even more now. Occasionally leave the baby with the baby sitter and devote the entire evening for him. i assure you that he will come back to you and into your arms once again. Have a good life.

Answer 4

I witnessed the birth of my little brothers child. I was the one elected to take pictures of the baby coming out of his tiny 16 year old girlfriend... It was one experience I will never forget. I was elected for good reason though. I am the only one who could have handled it. It is probably very disturbing to see a head that is bigger than a softball squeeze out in the shape of a cone (and this baby was pulled out with a suction cup which left a big cylindrical lump on her head that "will eventually go away," they had to snip the opening to a larger size to prevent the child from being crushed, and afterward sewed it back up...)

Not a scene for the weak.

It sounds like he is acting like a Man who just came home from a bloody war. Traumatiz0ed by the experience. He needs to talk about it with you, to get it out and let it exist to him rather than repress it and burry it down in silence.
The best thing you can do is show that you understand in some way, without giving him the opportunity to feel pressured or wrong for his behavior. This is likely how he deals with many things which overwhelm him mentally. If you approach him in an accepting and inviting way so that he can feel accepted and allowed to feel what he feels... he should open up over time and let it out. Just be patient.

Answer 5

No offense but your husband sounds like my ex petty. Why wont men understand that sometimes woman make mistakes. He wanted to be there for the birth and he wasn't but you can't change that now. There is no going back, you can't undo the deed. So he needs to understand that if he loves you and wants to be with you as he claims then he has to get on with life. Which means getting on with being a loving husband. It is hard after you just had a baby, you are dealing with self identity issues. You are no longer you but you are MOMMY!! And what a baby can do to a body is murder. He needs to understand all of this and return to his place in the bedroom. 7 months is ridiculous. Does this mean he is no longer being intimate with you? I know that is personal but I just can't understand that!! If he is not there might be deeper issues connected. Talk to him, if he doesn't want that suggest counseling, if he doesn't want that try seduction! I hope it works out!

Answer 6

Ya that is very common. Some men have a hard time coping with the delivery. It could be having put you in the pain or something else. Counseling would be good for both of you and is most likely the only way to get past this.

Answer 7

Oh my god........your husband is an A$$hole! He needs some serious friggen counseling or a serious *** kicking! Is there any chance that he has a honey on the side? That would be my first guess. You are worth more than begging for him to come back to the bedroom. He's a complete jerk and he should realize that it is an HONOR to witness the birth of your child! They are gifts from above and you brought him that gift. He needs to get real and GROW UP! Does he go to strip clubs? Just curious. Make him beg you......com'on girl......be a proud mama and get yours on your own! Good luck!
and fakemoonland.........you cannot remove stretch marks....

Answer 8

Maybe he's having trouble adjusting to your new mommy body. You weren't the woman he knew before the baby. Maybe he feels left out with the time you spend with your newborn and he can't express it any other way than to shut you out (by sleeping on the couch).

I'd talk to him, try counselling either with him or by yourself. Do not let him make you feel bad for the choice he made though. He could have told you he didn't want to be in the delivery room (though that's where he should have been--you didn't make that baby by yourself). Good luck!

Answer 9

Apparently the experience was to much for him to handle . porbeley never thought about more that the pleasure the two of you got during sex. now that he knows that the baby is part of him its scaring him to death about it happening again.
He may not have had the talk with his father or a priest about his role in the process.
Now he feels trapped and helpless and may be trying to deny that he had anything to do with making the baby.
Yes the delivery room can be quite a shock to the male mind that's not prepared for it.He may get over it by his self. Or need therapy sessions to get his head on straight and grow up and mature.
A male usually doesn't grow into some type of maturity until they reach their forties. Until then he only thinks in terms of me and I. making a babey that will cut that dream short as he will need to help provide for it.just like you will.

Answer 10

Yeah if he saw the whole delivery process, certain men couldn't take it. It takes awhile probably few mths for some men to recover themselves from the encounter. But a period of 7 mths seemed abit too long. There are few things u can do;
1-Find out from him the exact "thing" that scare him off
2-Consult a counsellor
3-Check him out-mmm might be many reasons besides freaked out about yr delivery.
4-Be creative,do something different to win his heart back.

Good Luck : )

Answer 11

Well, he definitely has issues with what he saw during the childbirth. It's not too uncommon in situations like those to be 'creeped out' sometimes, it's not your fault that this is happening. It's also not his fault either, he probably just suffered trauma during what happened. You should probably get some family counselling, the both of you. He may also feel responsible for all the pain you went through during the childbirth, and that could have turned him off from having sex and such. Counselling is always helpful, and just try to talk with him about it.