but often he is distant and to me feels cold and I feel neglected. I'm a clingy emotional person and he knows this as well as I do but sometimes It doesn't feel like he cares. Is there anything I can do?
2006-08-04 18:08:22 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i work 50 hrs a wk so I am not home all the time and I go out w/friends frequently as does he. And when I said clingy it's not unhealthy I just like hugs/cuddles a lot. I'm not codependent
2006-08-04 18:17:49 · update #1
Also more details- He changed after marriage, he was very loving and sweet before hand
2006-08-04 18:19:05 · update #2
yes you can do a couple of things. I went though the the same thing with my husband, your not alone a lot of women feel the same way.
1. Men are from mars woman are from Venus
2 Be your own best Friend
these are books that I read and I feel like I understands myself better as well as my husband. I would go to your local library, they have these books. treat yourself to them, They will help.
2006-08-04 19:08:33 · answer #1 · answered by RAINBOW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to hurt your feelings, but why do women always say that " they know their husband loves them" and then ask why isn't he acting like he love them? These questions usually end in "what can I do".
Coming from a man, I will tell you to stop thinking this way, you are taking half the blame already and don't even know what the problem is. If he had another women (just making a point), you would be so far off base you would need counseling just to regroup. He apparently don't need any space, because he's been getting that.
I often get silent and drift when my manhood is threatened finacially. Bills will send me through the roof if they get out of hand. I even loose sleep over problems at work. Again (as a man, 40-ish) these are things I need to conquer on my own. My wife (god bless her soul) has no idea. Your husband could have similar issues.
I suggest: Find a comfortable place at home(I use th' floor), no children, no noise, not even the sound of fan blades. Have complete blackness (you can't even see your own hand), place an object between you and him so that there's no contact (I use th' bedroom door), then talk. If he agree to do it, you will get more out of him now than you will your entire marriage. Just take your time getting to the real issues until you feel he's relaxed. ( his favorite drink or dinner wine can make it a smooth and speedy transition to relaxation).
Good Luck!
2006-08-05 01:52:42 · answer #2 · answered by dadnnelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get over the clingy part. He probably feels tired of trying to be everything for you. The more you base your entire existence on a man, the more he will pull away to fight for his own space.
How about getting out with friends more often? Join an exercise group? What you really need to do is to find a counselor or support group to get some help with overcoming this clingy nature of yours.
You will be happier when you are able to handle everything without running to your husband, and he will feel freedom from the extra burden. It should make a big difference.
2006-08-05 01:16:10 · answer #3 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you could focus a little more on yourself. Try taking up a hobby so you will not be so needy. If you start doing things by yourself he might just come around. Most men don't like clingy they would rather have someone that is more independent. You can tell him how you feel but if you are still clingy nothing will change.
2006-08-05 01:21:52 · answer #4 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is talk t him and explain how you feel.You should have known ,going into this marriage,that he is colder and unemotional and you are the opposite.You admit that you are emotional and clingy,maybe you two can meet in the middle somewhere.Don't hang up the towel just yet.Try to talk things out and let him know how you feel and that you need his support.
2006-08-05 01:18:19 · answer #5 · answered by missyandgordon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really should be talking to your husband about this. Maybe he has something on his mind. Maybe he needs to talk to you as well. It will feel alot better to get it off your chest. And if you do not want to actually go up and talk to him then write him a letter and explain how you feel. You have to have communication. Honestly it sounds to me like he may need to talk to you. I hope you and your husband are able to work everything out. But know he wont know how you feel unless you tell him.
2006-08-05 01:19:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You work 50 hours a week. You spend time hanging with your friends, as does he.
Exactly when do you have time to spend on your relationship?
2006-08-05 02:08:14 · answer #7 · answered by SLWrites 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex treated me the same way. Come to find out, he was seeing someone else. What does your gut instinct tell you? Listen to it! Mine was telling me he was possibly seeing someone else but I refused to believe it because I knew he loved ME. I was wrong, wrong, wrong. Save yourself some heart-ache. Do a little investigating. Good luck! I hope I'm wrong!!
2006-08-05 01:25:37 · answer #8 · answered by carolscreation 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey im sorry , but the same thing happened to me until i finally
found out that he was intrested in someone else.I knew he was
there but his mind is somewhere else.Do a little spying and find
out. They just start trying to get excuses to get out with out hurting anybody.
2006-08-05 01:17:28 · answer #9 · answered by flaca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try and see if there is someone that could appreciate you for who you are and how you feel. There is nothing worse than feeling unloved and unappreciated.
2006-08-05 01:18:01 · answer #10 · answered by Mark 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋