I think mY husband was cheating in the past but now he stopped I cant get over it!?

Question

Im 23...I feel like im wasting my life. Im married...hes 24.....were doing ok...but I feel like...now what. I feel realy depressed always worrying if this guy is cheating on me if hes for real. Its liek I cant trust. I have reasons for thinking this...and it hurts. I was checking his phone bill....email...ect. I cant do it anymore it makes me sick. I always found something strange. One time he went to his brothers house at night i checked his calls on tmobile.com///LOL LOL i know im like psycho...but i have to. i saw a call made at 11:30....weird number so i called it the next day and a girl answered. I then took his phone the next day and called the number it appread on his fone with a guys name ted. so while dialing the number a name appread on his phone that means it was stored. I asked for ted...NO ted...then i asked him whose number it is and why it was saved blocked on his phone when he calles it. he said its a consrtruction company....i called her agin blocked and it was a girl

then 2 days later i called to confront her and the number didnt work anymore I fought with him and he swore on everything he never cheated and bla bla bla he didnt know the number...

Answer 1

I don't think that you will ever get over it if someone cheats..My mother and father had the same thing going on.. And they stayed together and it has been on hell of a life for them. She trys to trust him but there is so much bitterness and rezement towards him it is crazy. I say that anyone that cheats on there woman is scum off the bottlem of the toilt and does not and should not get a 2nd chance but there are woman that stay like my mother and they think they will get over it but deep down you will never get over it.. Your life will change and it will not be that life that you had before. Your trust has been broken your sex life will be gone and you will alway be fighting about something and will always blame him on things that have happen. But if you say it is your faut as well because you aloud it to and you will be one unhappy person in the long run. There has always been fighting in the house because she is so mad @ him for all the hurt and wants to keep it dragging out and it has been over 20 years ago. She does not say it or talks about it but deep down in side it ruin my mother. With that kind of pain it is like you want to throw up in discuse. Your heart is tearing into lil pieces that you think that if you stay it will be ok but you have to remember you have to sleep with this man every night and if he is not home in the bed with you you are going to asume that he is out cheating. He could be or he could be just on his way home if you know what I mean. It really causes alot of problems and I don't think all the councling will help. They went to all that as well and I am tell you it is still a problem. The problem I have with it is he loves her more than anything but he did what he did and know he is paying for it now. She is mean to him and if I was him I would have left her so long ago but he feels the "G" so he stays. She has no respect for him and it really bothers me that she does not because she is the one that stayed and cut up the papers and said she wanted him back. But when it comes down to it the anger comes out when you are hurting and the hitting starts and all the sh1t happens it is not a pleasent sight seening your parents that way. He said that he need to come back to the family to make sure that we all made it well Iam 32 and I worrie if they are going to make it. It has shown me in my relationships that I will never put a woman throught that sh1t. I was with a woman for 12 years and I never wanted nor thought about cheating on her because it will hurt them so much and I know it because of my mother. And I was not married to her. But we where going to but sh1t like this killed it. "Pain follows others" That is not the only reason that I did not cheat, nor hit, or abuse her..most of all I LOVED HER MORE THAN ANYTHING and if the love is that strong you would never think about it. That is why my love for her will alway be there. As well what it did to my relationship with all the family problems it made my mother jelous of her becuse she got treated like a princsess and she wanted that as well (don't every woman want that)but with all the sh1t that my family did and said to her she could not handle it so we are now apart from each other. I blam them now for some of the stuff that they put us through so it will effect others in a big way. Now it has destoyed everyone but more of me. I know that Iam going on about this but I need to tell you how it really works with that question. I never would put this on the web but you asked the question and you ask I tell. Don't get me wrong you might love this guy but will you ever be able to except it and move on with out a question? If you need to talk to someone fill free to Im me if you want till now I am going to close and belive me I could write more but I don't want to take up all the space on here if I have not all ready.. Take care your self and remember there are other men out there that will treat you with the up most respect and love you for you and will never cheat you are talking to one write now Again Take care and good luck!!!! J

Answer 2

Wow Kay, i don't desire to sound recommend...yet why did you get married? i understand you likely love your husband yet in the tip regardless he is going to be harm. you could besides settle for that. there is not any common thank you to tell a miles better half you now not desire to be married. I kinda understand your subject (on a private tip) regardless of if, in case you certainly experience such as you could not administration your self then...maybe you could desire to break up. i could recommend speaking with psychologist first. just to speak by way of what ever subject concerns which you have interior of. because of fact in case you do not you will continually proceed this for a on the same time as. discover out what's pushing you to look outdoors your marriage. i'm hoping you look for some help first...then in case you rather experience there is not something there between you and your husband...then you definately could desire to do what you could desire to do.... sturdy good fortune ; )

Answer 3

This sounds like a job for a marriage counselor. You has issues with trusting him (whether he really cheated or not) and he has issues with the truth. You need to learn to communicate better or your constant nagging and worrying are going to drive him away. Get help soon (both of you).

Answer 4

He cheated and I don't think you will ever forgive him for it.He is doing things to make you think soemthing is going on.You said you feel like your wasting your life,well dont!!!Get out,while you can.If he has cheated once,more than likely,he will continue to do so.I dont think you want to spend the rest of your life checking up on him and you shouldnt have to.He either needs to quit the sh**,or you need to move on.

Answer 5

Stop obsessing over something you have no control over and start thinking about yourself and moving on with your life........If he WAS cheating (and it sure sounds like it) he'll keep on cheating, and find smarter less obvious ways to do so........My suggestion is that you take this as a learning experience and move on......Anything is better than THAT........

Answer 6

Listen, you will never get over it. The trust is gone and you will always fight over this. The fighting may even make him cheat on you, even if he wasn't. You are young, find someone better for you. Don't waste your life, move on. i know from experience on this one.

Answer 7

get over it its the past now is the time to think of the future not what its was but what it is
tomarrow is a better day