should i call?

Question

my husband confesed after i made him that he was falling for this
co-worker of his ,and then at a party she confesed to me she was falling for him too!!lots of things happened and they stopped seeing each other at work because i told my husband to quit and find another job wich he did but this woman is always in my mind
god knows i cant see her because i would smash her face in!!
Nothing ever happened because i caught this in time .
she is married too and since i have lost sleep over it do you think i should give her man a call and have a "chat with him"and tell
him to keep his bi*ch tied? All i think of is revenge!!

Answer 1

Oh I have been in your shoes, I know how you feel...because I have felt it myself. My first husband cheated on me with people that I grew up around after we married and moved near the place I was raised. Of course I was the last to know...and when I did find out, I was so furious, I nearly went insane! I mean other people who were close to me knew he was "doing EVERYTHING" with some of those whores, and NOBODY cared enough about me to tell me! Deep breath!

I have to tell you if you are 100% certain that the two of them NEVER see one another anymore, then this problem may be over, but if there is one single doubt in your mind that they may be secretly carrying on, then you need to know, you have a right!

Revenge is a very hard emotion to deal with. Living with this kind of resentment can cause your own marriage to fall apart! So if this is too much for you to handle, do not attack a woman that may be out of the picture, ask your husband to help you feel better, and to give you some reassurances. Ask him if he would consider couples counseling for the two of you. You cannot continue with these feelings of anger and resentfulness, however justified I may think your feelings may be. Please do not mistake my NOT supporting an attack on the woman who had her eye on your man, as my ever saying that you are not justified in your anger, on the contrary, I think you have a right to feel upset, and hurt and confused. Your husband admitted, and even changed jobs thinking that would solve the problem, that was obviously not enough, I think now he has to earn your trust back. But in all fairness to your man whose eye wandered, if you need something more from him, you need to tell him. Do not sneak around and stir up anything more with that woman! If her husband beats her to death after your phone call, then I don't think that would make you feel better, would it? Really?

If you want to stay with your husband, and try to bring back a sense of normalcy to your lives, and end the resentment and confusion. You have to have some resolution to all of these hard feelings that you are holding onto. While I understand it, I also know it's a relationship KILLER. So if you want to keep him, both of you have some work to do together to make things right again.

Good luck, and you should never have to fear speaking up when something does not feel "right" with you. Let him know how you feel, that you are still angry, and you are not happy. Tell him you want to try to get over what you are feeling and you need his help to do that. If the relationship means something to him, maybe he will understand how you feel and try to help? If not, maybe his eyes have wandered again? Be up front, not confrontational, but honest.

I will think good and positive thoughts for you and what you are going through. I have been where you are, and I know it hurts like hell!

Answer 2

Revenge is sweet - for a while. It never solves anything permanently. I understand your feelings. When my ex and a woman he worked with got together I called the boss and complained. Nothing happened about it. Her husband called me to complain - but what could I do? He had already moved out to be with her.

How about talking about this with someone in the counseling field? They may know ways to help you redirect that energy you are putting into the grudge you hold. You are wasting a lot of your life hating someone who probably doesn't even care.

If you call her husband, what do you think will happen? Do you think he will blow up at her and punish her? She will find a way to explain things that makes you look like a crazy b**ch. You will come out the loser, and they will probably laugh about it. Remember, you stopped it before it became an affair - she has nothing to hide from her husband.

What you need to do is to stop wasting so much time on her!! She is winning the battle without firing a shot because you are the one hurt by this. Redirect your attention to something else. When you think about her, make yourself occupy your brain with other things - grocery list, new color to paint the kitchen, what ever it takes. Soon you will train yourself to put this out of your mind.

Answer 3

It sounds like you have a lot of anger, and resentment that has built up, and rightfully so! However, to go and call her husband and make it more of a mess than it is already, wouldn't help the situation! You are all adults I take it and so act that way though like I said, you have to feel and go through what you are feeling...........my heart goes out to you. However, I don't think the anger needs to be just at this other woman but also for you to take a look at your husband. He was responsible in this situation too! Also, you want to take a look at yourself, your marriage, for when eyes and hearts and other things start happening and going astray, it is because something isn't going on or there are issues that are happening right in your own home that need to be addressed. I believe that you have a lot to work on, work for and a great foundation in your marriage probably already to build on. You want to go to counseling, you start first, to get out your anger and all of the stuff that goes with it, and then go as a couple, and work on things, together. Find out what was happening, what went wrong, and how you can both learn and grow more and continue your journey, together. I wish you all the best, it's going to take work but well worth it, have faith!

Answer 4

i imagine it truly is slightly harsh for a 5 365 days previous. 5 365 days previous little ones are "researching" yet. this can were an outstanding coaching adventure for both instructors. If she incredibly did not mean to be grotesque, then it truly is very so. i does no longer have her write an apology to the little woman because there is no thanks to say "i'm sorry I reported you've been fat." i imagine that only makes it worse. in case you comprehend the little woman's mom trot her over there and performance her say sorry on to the girl and also you say sorry to the mummy. clarify you do not have any tolerance for bullying. this can save the different woman from being embarrassed all yet again. Then i could call the instructor and enable her comprehend how you dealt with this and tell her that you imagine your punishment changed into sufficient and she or he should be allowed to bypass to the party. She must have dealt with it the first time and this time, in college. i imagine it really is incorrect to provide a toddler a punishment while not having laid out that the subsequent time you do this...this can take position. you need to have requested better questions about what exceeded off. there is no excuse for her call calling, yet you want to understand the circumstances. And, in case you imagine your daughter has discovered her lesson and remains no longer allowed to income from the party, then i could only save her domicile that day, or verify her out of school an hour till now the party starts.

Answer 5

no!!! just have a romantic night with ur husband rent a hotel room and then u know the works:candles soft music something that makes you feel gorgeous and any toys the two of u might use and have a wonderful night and after that if she is still on ur mind call that b***h. i hope you take my advice. good luck with ur husband and i wish the 2 of u a happy wonderful long life together without any whores

Answer 6

let god handle it, dont lower yourself to revenge its not the answer right now your anger is out weighting your reason. if he not meant to be with you then there is noting you can do to keep him, and keeping someone against there will is not right. if for what ever reason he thinks its better for him to go then give him his freedom.be strong stay clean, and if he comes back with the i made a mistake im sorry story you can look at him in the eyes and tell him that your sorry too and that you hope he can live with his choice.look at it this way he may be giving you freedom.

Answer 7

Why are you stirring up old water? I know how you are feeling. I've been there done that. But why would you want her husband to go through the same pain and anguish you are going through? Don't forget, it wasn't just HER. Counseling would help you a lot to deal with your anger over this situation.

Answer 8

Forget revenge.Think of trying to work on your marriage,so he stays faithful.His stray thoughts,are in NO way your fault,but he needs to know he has you to talk to when he is tempted.Which,so far,he has.I don't think I could have kept my cool if some woman,told me she was falling for my hubby.I would have probably cold ****** her.Just let her be,tell your hubby you expect him to keep a far far distance from her.Put your anger and rage into making your marriage as strong as possible so no HOMEWRECKER can try to get im.

Answer 9

I experienced my man cheating on me, with a co-worker. He told me himself. I did not have any desire to call her, she ended up calling me to say she was sorry. It was a one time affair and that happened 11 years ago. I told my husband if he really was in love with her, he needed to be with her not me. I told him if it ever happened again it would end our marriage. we have been married for eighteen years now. I believe he has not cheated on me since.

Answer 10

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