Is it true that the Japanese does not like having a relationship or marrying with foreigners?

Question

I heard that the Japanese does not really like getting into relationships with foreigners... is this true? I also heard that when it comes to marriage, Japanese families object having a foreigner marrying into their family... or it is only acceptable when a Japanese man or woman fails to marry in their young age so they just marry anyone because they are already old? Can anyone clear this up? What is the TRUTH behind this reputation of the Japanese? Thanks!

It would be helpful if you share personal experiences! Thanks!

Answer 1

♡No, I don't think it's true. If it is, no one bothered to tell MY Japanese husband or my sister's Japanese husband about it. Not to mention all my foreign friends here in Japan who are married to Japanese men/women. There are so many of us, we have a 'ladies circle' for foreign wives living in Japan and a few men join us from time to time too. (*^o^*) I think it's personal choice. Most of the Japanese spouses I've talked to said they never imagined or planned to marry a 'foreigner', it just happened. Some Japanese people may worry about the communication problem or custom/traditions in Japanese life and so on.
I have met some older people who aren't too keen on the idea, probably because of the war and all but after chatting with them awhile they seem to think it may not be so bad.
It is true that some of the 'foreigners' I've met have had problems with the in laws, but that happens in any culture! They either like you or they don't! I've been very fortunate and have the greatest mother in law I could have ever hoped for.
The reason some Japanese don't marry young is because they work so hard and long that they actually don't have time to meet and develop a relationship with someone. If you ask older Japanese people where they met, many say school, university or the office! Recently some people have started using a modern type 'go between' again, usually a friend of the family to get couples together.
I think if you meet the right person for you, Japanese or not, a relationship will develop and possibly lead to much more! This is just my own opinion from meeting my hubby by literally bumping into him and living happily ever after!(*^o^*)

Answer 2

No, it's NOT true that Japanese people don't like having relationships with, or marrying, foreigners!

I'm married to a Japanese man, so are others who use this site, and inter-racial relationships are going on all the time!

Of course there'll be problems with the in-laws sometimes, that's normal and NOT a question of racial barriers - some people are just like that, no-one is good enough for their little boy / girl! (It helps if you don't live anywhere near the in-laws...!)

If YOU married a Japanese person, wouldn't YOUR parents do a lot of moaning? Even if it was all behind your back, you'd still be aware of it, and if you were LIVING with your parents there would obviously be friction between your parents and your spouse...! Some people can cope with their child going 'against the grain', but some can't, and marrying a 'foreigner' IS going against the grain to many people...!

Please don't assume that it's 'okay' for 'older' Japanese people to marry foreigners just to get them 'off the shelf'...! Yes, many people marry late in life in Japan - and in most other 'civilised' countries - but they're just as likely to marry a Japanese person they meet through a matchmaker or dating site as they are to marry a foreigner ... and many others stay single for ever.
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Answer 3

I'll tell you one conclusion I've got through my experience in Japan. (though I'm a young Japanese.)
In general Japanese people don't dislike having a relationship(not marriage) with foreigners. If they don't want to talk to them, that's mostly because they are just afraid of them. Especially younger Japanese people don't very much hasitate to have inmitate relationship with foreigners, as long as his/her parents don't complain about it. Older Japanese people are more afraid of foreigners, for the generation is closer to the tragedy of World War 2. The old tend to dislike Korean and Chinese more than Western people. The reason also comes from the war. I'll show you one example.
My family heard of a student-exchange program and they asked my family to be a host family for a Chinese high school student. Sadly, though I did want to offer the plan, my parents in their fifties said no, because the student was a Chinese.
Then another example.
One of my relatives managed to married a foreigner with difficulty- the hard time persuading her parents into allowing her marriage, cruel comment of her family and relatives. I heared her relatives and family said, "She is just crazy," "She must be dreaming of a stupid ideal with her foreign brainless husband," and "She just want to boast of having a foreign guy as her husband."
So what I mean is "Japanese families object having a foreigner marrying into their family." This is a very old way of thinking, but this is the truth...

Answer 4

Japanese women generally like white men. It's Japanese men who frown on such relationships, for obvious reasons. Most native Japanese girls will therefore get into a relationship very young with a Japanese man, and will only later get involved with white guys, if at all. some women are not part of mainstream Japanese society in the first place, for example, models, and these girls usually don't marry. it is more common for them to have white boyfriends.

as for the prospects for American women with Japanese people, of either sex, I think the prospects are much worse. a woman will make friends in Japan, and have fun, but probably won't sleep with many Japanese, just other westerners.

Answer 5

NO NOT TRUE I am married to a Japanese masn, we have a son and everyone inhis family including grandparents except us. My sister inlaw is also married to white man. I am sure some famlies aren't as excepting as the one I've become part of. But you will find both kinds of people in any country the excepts it or dissaproves

Answer 6

No, it's not true. While many Japanese may feel somewhat reluctant about it, there are many more who are not.

In fact, there are quite a few Japanese who seem to prefer dating foreigners instead of other Japanese -- especially Japanese women, many of whom go for foreign guys.

I had a Japanese boyfriend for a while, while I was over there. I was also "approached" by other J-guys over there more than once. Much more than once.

Answer 7

I'm an American (white guy) and my wife is Japanese we live in Japan. When we first announced our intentions of getting married her father was not happy about it. I traveled here from the U.S to meet the parents. Eventhough they wern't happy they invited me into thier home. Once the fear of the unknown was gone they approved. We have now lived in thier house for over 2 years.

Answer 8

because i think Japanese dont have the ability to adjust that's why they are afraid to have relationship and japanese are "stick-to-one" so unlike western...

and japanese must prefer living with the same japanese of course; who knows their tradiotins and language

Answer 9

Hang on a tick I`ll ask the missus.

Answer 10

look at most interracial relationships its japanese women with white men...

its the japanese men that looks down on it