My fiance of 6 months and I were having no seen problems whatsoever. Three weeks ago, out of no where, our relationship snoballed, and this passed Wednesday, I went to his house and he told me numerous things. One minute he was saying he needed to find himself and the next he's saying that he's doing me a favor he cannot give me what I need. None the less, he ended it with me. The only thing that was constant out of his mouth was that he does and always will love me. Boy were the water works coming from him! He's not an emotional person...why cry is this is something you want? He didn't give me a straight reason as to why...nor did he ask for the ring back. Surprisingly, he told me that he was going to continue to make the payments on the ring and that I should hold onto it...what is really going on? We were together for three years and this was the one I was stopping with. I know I'm probably going to get some ugly responses, but I'm ready so let's go...thanks for the help!
2006-08-04 17:16:50 · 42 answers · asked by ConfuzedBluEyez 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I guess I should also mention that our relationship is not the only aspect of his life that snoballed...within these past three weeks he hasn't been going to work (which he got the job through my brother-in-law), I got a call today from my oldest sister letting me know that they fired him. Why is he letting everything in his life go in the crapper??
2006-08-04 19:10:03 · update #1
Maybe there's something going on that he doesn't want to tell you about. I mean, usually people don't do things like that for no reason. If I were you I'd get him to talk with you somewhere and find out what's going on. Good luck hon.
2006-08-04 17:24:08 · answer #1 · answered by heidielizabeth69 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No ugly answer...just a sad cold reality check. First I am sorry this has happened. You must be hurting. But this guy has MAJOR issues. Either he's been hiding something or lying to you right along ( if all were perfect up to now, he wouldn't be doing this) or he has some real mental health issues. In either case, please, please hear me....there IS a problem. I would NOT keep the ring or continue the relationship. I would consider yourself LUCKY to have found this out now instead of down the line. After you've been married for a few years with a child or two...then he leaves and you're really stuck. He needs help. And you need to be strong now and protect yourself and your future. Listen to your instinct (not your heart) right now. IF you didn't think there was a problem you wouldn't have written for help here. Take it from someone who didn't listen to her instinct...and married the guy...who turned out to be abusive, a drug user and a lying cheater (with several women)...after 15yrs years together the pain and devastation is MUCH harder to get over.... I hope you hear me and at least talk to someone where you are. Please be careful and remember, you can do this. It's been 4yrs since my divorce and I am now happier than ever....Best of luck!!
2006-08-04 17:31:59 · answer #2 · answered by ShellRe' 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Losing a job is a VERY big deal to a man. He was counting on that job to provide for you, now it's gone. Of course he's confused, upset and depressed. He wants you to hold onto the ring because he's hoping things will get better even though he must have worries about making the payments. Be supportive. Help him with his resume and job search. Offer to put the wedding off for awhile until his job situation improves. Good luck.
2006-08-11 07:35:24 · answer #3 · answered by R. F 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay me and my ex of 51/2 years had the same thing happen like 2 months ago! Man there must be a full moon always my guy broke it off with me because of he coulnt give me what i needed either or so he said well if truth must be know he wanted to experince other girls make sure i was what he wanted so here it is now and he still hasnt made up his mind so i hope that yor guy isnt as cold-hearted as mine but it is a possiblity keep it in mind and i hope your okay and he FINDS what he needs take care of your self look on the bright side of the road and most of all GOOD LUCK
2006-08-04 18:03:44 · answer #4 · answered by Rachel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Blue Eyez I kind of felt stunned as I read about your problem. As I thought for a moment, I thought about a friend who being recently married,told me that he was terrified that he might be making a big mistake as the days drew closer and closer to his wedding day. He said that that period had to be the worst time of his life. That was quite a few years ago and he and his wife are still together happily married.
Maybe yours is going through some similar feelings as my friend did,but more intense. Since this all went down two days ago, I would see what the next week will bring. Give him some space to find himself. That's all I know to tell you. I sure hope things work out for you and him.
Best wishes
2006-08-04 17:53:29 · answer #5 · answered by doggybag300 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I remember correctly...it's been over twenty some odd years now. It's this big fear of commitment that rushes upon you. Realizing that you are going to be married or living with your one lady for the rest of your life and it overwhelms you. The man is panicking I would believe. And there is no where or no one for him to turn to where he can vent this frustration. That's where the tears are coming from. The man is shaken up! And maybe you haven't seen the emotional side of him because he has always held it inside of him. Men have always been told as younger men not to show their emotions, not to cry, to walk off their pain. Well maybe he is reached that point where he is got a few too many things on his plate and he sees this commitment coming up and it's scareing the hell out of him and he can not relate it to anyone...not even to YOU his best friend. Reach out to him! He probaly needs you more now than ever! Forget the ring! Talk to him!
2006-08-04 18:11:07 · answer #6 · answered by sunnyboy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know that there is something he isn't telling you. Does he have
1) emotional problems you don't know about?
2) financial worries or loans you don't know about?
3) any addictions? (gambling, drugs, alcohol, porn)
4) family problems?
There is something on his mind. It doesn't sound like another woman UNLESS he has done something really stupid like getting a one-nighter pregnant.
Be patient. Give him some space and DO NOT BOTHER HIM. He will sort it out and contact you when he is ready. If you don't hear from him in two months, then go on without him.
Some men really need to back off and have some space if they are dealing with a problem.
2006-08-04 17:28:07 · answer #7 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you ever think that the reason why he had ended it with you is because he had lost his job, and that he feels as though he is totally worthless and that he is not good enough for you? There has to be a reason why he would think that you would put him down, instead of wanting to stand by his side! And also not wanting to tell you the complete truth or even wanting to face the consequences!!!!! If this is really bothering you and you would like to find out the truth, then you should call, or go and see him and have a very deep and honest discussion with him!
Good Luck!!!!!
2006-08-12 09:28:44 · answer #8 · answered by bigred 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My NOW husband did the same thing to me after we got engaged for a while. His main issue was pressure from his "guy friends" not to get married..that he still needed to "live a little" before he settled down...that he was too young..and all that junk. He was so torn, because he still loved me, but decided to spurn me anyway in the same cold manner that your man did...crying and all. It was all a bad case of cold feet, peer pressure, and being scared of committment and worrying if he was enough for me. It sounds like your man is having the same doubts as to if he is good enough for you and if he will be the man that he needs to be to support you,etc. Give him some time and space, but still be there to encourage him that you love him no matter what. If none of this works....there is that SLIGHT possibility that his tears are tears of guilt over something that he has done and thus feels unworthy of you..more than likely, he cheated.
2006-08-04 19:54:40 · answer #9 · answered by sbhb090896 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well it could be a lot of things, but you can't worry about his reason, especially if he doesn't love enough to give you a staight answer. As long as you guys have been together you deserve a legitimate answer. No matter how hard it hurts, you should move on. Try your best not to communicate with him. Don't play the break up to make up game. If he loves you make him do the work to get you back and make sure he doesn't ever think about breaking up with you again. And give him the ring back.
2006-08-04 18:06:15 · answer #10 · answered by Smooda 1119 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's got to be a reason. There's not a reason a guy just bails on his woman. A lot of my problem is I get depressed easily and start feeling like I'm unworthy. That could be his problem. He could have also freaked out as far as the "Committment issue." Or finally, my last guess is another girl, although to me, from what you say, I don't think that sounds valid, but I wouldn't count it out. Keep an eye on him just to be sure. Make sure he's mentally healthy if nothing else.
2006-08-04 17:25:47 · answer #11 · answered by jokerscard692000 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋