My bf's kids are spoiled, loud, rude and disrespectful. (They are 12, 8 and 7) He thinks they are perfect, and gets real pissed off at me if I complain about them or try to discipline them. Luckily I don't see them much, but whenever they are coming over, I stress so much I make myself sick! He doesn't set any rules for them,and lets them do whatever they want to, like stay up til 5am, go through & destroy my belongings, he heven lets the 12 yr old swear!
2006-08-04 17:02:45 · 16 answers · asked by QKC 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
We've been together 2 yrs. I have 2 kids of my own (14 & 11) and its hard to have all 5 together, when i set rules for mine that his dont have to follow. (My kids dont like his either, they agree that they are spoiled and rude)
2006-08-04 17:13:29 · update #1
My former "sweetie" made dates with his 14 yr old and I wasn't allowed to know or go. His daughter got a car (He borrowed the $$ from me), got a state of the art lap-top computer and she would often call him at my home to complain about her Mother frequently. I can only tell you this--if you're not married to him--consider yourself lucky. He won't change--what you are seeing IS his level of parenting skills. Think of it this way: He & his children have made prior arraingements and they have no plans to let you (or anybody else) change the status quo. Divorced men with younger children most always feel guilty and over-compensate
2006-08-04 17:28:55 · answer #1 · answered by dawnee_babe 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you need to back out of this relationship. The guy and the kids are a package deal, and his children do, and should come before you. He will regret setting no rules for them. You don't need a guy that makes you stressed and sick. That does not sound like a happy life.
2006-08-05 00:07:42 · answer #2 · answered by winkcat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Better get a new boyfriend. If you think he doesn't like you disciplining them now, can you imagine what kind of marriage it would be? I'm probably older than you and I have knowledge of what divorce does to kids. It destroys their world. They will probably always want and work toward getting their parents back together. I have seen kids of divorce return to bed-wetting (after years of dry nights), act up in school, just become out-and-out pains - but you must think of what the divorce did to them. Yes, they should be taught how to behave, but it won't be easy and it has to be with love.
2006-08-05 00:11:45 · answer #3 · answered by TheHumbleOne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no easy way to deal with this, but you are with him, so the kids are part of the package. Gotta relax, and don't get worked up. If they are destroying your stuff, you should ask him if he will talk with them or if you should. If this is too much of an issue, move on and find someone with some kids with manners.
2006-08-05 00:09:15 · answer #4 · answered by vuevecliquot13 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i fyou really love him then stay with him. maybe they dont know what they except from you and dont want you to replace there mom. If you get to know them than the doors will open. It will be fun getting to know each one of there diffrent persoalities and maybe when you guys get more serious try discussing that you are part of the kids life and you would like to concider making a few rules. If that dosnt work then just stay friends with the kids and the boy!!!!
2006-08-05 00:09:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, don't discipline them. They are not your children, but you don't have to let them disrespect you either. You need to talk to him, not complain, talk and let him know how you feel. Remember those are his kids and that probably he'll be defensive. So, try to make your point calmly and little by little, don't make it look like it's a big issue, but be firm.
2006-08-05 00:13:22 · answer #6 · answered by beali03 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find another guy to love. If it was meant to be.. Get with him when the kids are grown. Been there. If you stay, you're in for a life of misery. The kids aren't going anywhere...and they sound like demons anyway.
2006-08-05 00:08:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless you relish the role of wicked stepmother, you'd better find another guy. It's obvious that you don't like the kids, and I'm guessing they don't like you all that much either. That is not a recipe for happiness.
2006-08-05 00:16:11 · answer #8 · answered by dick_coxnbutz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, its a package deal. You can't get him without his unruly kids. Many relationships break up because of kids. Your not their mother so you have no say-so in what they do (which I'm sure you already know). If you truely love him and don't want to lose him then you have to put up with his bratty kids.
2006-08-05 00:08:23 · answer #9 · answered by Dana J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats gonna be a problem, because he is always gonna take they're side because he's they're his kids. Those kids are always gonna be a problem and they will always try to come between u and him.
So unless ur ready for a fight on ur hand u can saty or u can go
2006-08-05 00:08:02 · answer #10 · answered by itspink22@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋