My roomate is bulimic and is in extreme denial, what do I do?

Question

I've lived with my roomate for seven years, since college. I know that she was severly bulimic in highschool and was hospitalized. There were periods in college when I had my own issues with food (freshmen 15 etc) and she would confide in me then when I was having issues too, I went through a semester of binging and purging myself. For the last 4 years I've been healthy and positive. I know that sometimes my roomate makes herself sick still. She got a new boyfriend 3 months ago and all the sudden she dropped 15 pounds. I really want to help her but she only admits her problem when she's drunk and denies it any other time. Also, since I went through the same issue in school, I feel like she doesn't respect me. I;ve been so worried because everyone is telling her how great she looks and thin and I think that it's only driving her disease. I feel like I can't tell anyone and when I approach in a sober setting she acts like I'm crazy. How do I help her?

Answer 1

If she's admitting this when she's drunk, some part of her knows she needs help for it. You may have to be the bad guy here and tell someone, like her parents, but ultimately, she will realize that you might have saved her life. If you think that her relationship with her boyfriend is long-lasting enough and serious enough to tell him about this, I would go to him and tell him all that you wrote here. If he's been spending a lot of time with her for the last three months, I'm sure he's noticed something is wrong with your roomate's eating habits. Together, you two could stage a mini-intervention that might save your friend's life. She's likely to get mad at you, but less likely if her boyfriend backs you up, I think.

If her relationship with the boyfriend is not that serious, however, I would probably go to her parents first - or a counselor, if parents are also out of the question. You don't want to tell this all to the boyfriend only to not care enough to help or to leave her.

You said you don't think your friend respects you about this issue because you went through it too - but I think that's even more of a reason to respect you. Not only do you know how she's feeling, but you went through the hard part of getting better [and getting help?] and now you know how much easier life is without constantly starving or binging and purging.

Good luck. Keep in mind that you beat this - your friend will too.

Answer 2

Did you get medical attention/counseling for your problem? If so try to remember some of the things you heard when you were in denial. It obviously helped you. As you know, until your roommate wants help you can't help! Look for signs of purging like acid damage to teeth. This might be a good starting point for bringing it up if obvious damage has occurred. You might also try approaching the family of your roommate about having an intervention; where s/he is confronted with your knowledge and his/her denial issues.
Finally, prayer never hurts and always helps!

Answer 3

yet there's no worldwide warming!! Or is the recent york cases element of the evil deniers? "the international leaders who met on the United countries to debate climate substitute on Tuesday are confronted with an perplexing project: development momentum for a worldwide climate treaty at a time whilst worldwide temperatures have been fairly solid for a decade and would even drop contained in here few years."

Answer 4

Plan an intervention with her boyfriend first, then perhaps her parents.