my husband cheated on me 3 years ago.i forgave him. now i found out i got genital herpes.what shall i do?

Question

should i believe him? since genital herpes may be dormant and just came up only now(3 years after)? he has been a very supportive husband, let me go back to school and advises me to finish it.everything is good about him except for this one time cheating which he was really sorry. my doubts before were awaken because of this disease. please let me know the best way to face this problem. he swears he does not cheat on me, should i take his word? is this genital herpes a package that comes along with that cheating? only serious advise please, i am really really vulnerable at the moment.

Answer 1

Your life is now ruined-but forgive him for the mistake he made.Your marriage is based on for better for worse-until death due us part. Your covenant is with GOD.

Answer 2

If you got the herpes 3 years ago, you would've had an outbreak way before now. So, sorry sweetie, but your husband must still be cheating. I suggest you call a professional marriage counsoler. And urge your husband to came clean and be honest with you so you can start to rebuild from there. Your best bet will be to try to work things out, if you really love him.And talk to your doctor about one the medicines that can be taken to limit the number of outbreaks you have. one of my best friends has this disease and takes a pill once a day and hasn't had any outbreaks for a year and a half, which she said were very painful. Take care of you first and then work on trying to rebuild your marriage(if that's what you want) Really weigh the pros and cons of your divorce. And the marriage counsoler will help with that as well. I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide. And God bless you, I know this must really be hard for you

Answer 3

I'm not quite sure how to approach this question. If it's a case where the virus lay dormant for a while, and he's well aware of your current infection, you will have to continue to have faith that he is not cheating all over again. However, I understand how hard it is to be certain. Talk to a physician who can give you the full epidemiology of the virus and maybe you two should seek ongoing counseling until you truly feel everything is resolved, one way or another.

He sounds like a great guy who made an awful awful mistake. I almost made myself sick at one point, concerned about a cheating boyfriend. At least you have evidence of something that can be treated. I self diagnosed myself with so much crap, I ended up with all sorts of stress situations, leading up to a minor little heart attack. Talk things over with him, seek counseling, find resolution and get back to life together.

Answer 4

I understand the fact that you forgave him but he needs to realize how much he has hurt you,and now he has even more repercussions that have come along with his infidelity.IF you have no reason to think he is cheating,again,then you don't have a problem.BUT if you have any clue that he is cheating,then you need to move on.You forgave him once,but twice and now a disease.No way.He gave you something that you can never get rid of.I don't think I could be as forgiving as you.The fact that he supports you,"LET"you go back to school,and "ADVISES"you to finish is nice,but that's the things that a good hubby should do.The words "let"and "advises"worries me though.You need to decide what you want and do it.Do NOT be his doormat.

Answer 5

Herpes does NOT lay dormant for three years. If you're not cheating....he IS. Sorry honey. Herpes shows up pretty quickly. If you choose to believe that it does lay dormant, then don't leave him now. You've forgiven him for his crime and this is not something that can be helped now. Besides...you may as well stay together because at least you'll have someone you can have sex with and not spread it to someone else. It never goes away.

Answer 6

I can understand your situation, frustration, and confusion that you are going through right now. The best advice that I can give is to seek help from a bonafide marriage counselor. I know you're probably thinking this isn't much help at all, but it's important for you, your husband, and a neutral party to be in the same room. I can understand 100% why you are questioning his love for you because of the fact that he cheated before, but from what you posted, it seems that he really regrets doing what he did. I'm also sure that he feels more terrible at the fact that you are suffering the consequences for his sin. This is why it's even more important for you guys to see a marriage counselor. The vibe that I got from your post says to me that the two of you really want to get through this together, so I can honestly say that the love between you guys are pretty strong. As for asking us, the readers, if you should take his word...I think that in itself shows that a part of you want to trust him, but you're afraid of being hurt again, to which I completely understand. This is why I think the two of you should see a doctor for your health, and a counselor for your marriage. My best wishes goes out to the two of you. BTW, if you are suspecting him of cheating again, then you should see the doctor (for your health) alone.

Answer 7

I am absolutely terrified and I feel so alone. I just found out last week that I tested positive for hsv1 and 2. I have been with the same man for the past 10 years and within the last year found out that he has cheated on me with numerous women. I am so scared that I can give it to my children by kissing them and them eating with me...I feel like my whole life has changed. And even though the nurses, my doctor, and websites say that a lot of people have it I still feel like I am by myself. My self esteem has dropped and I feel like I have been used up. But now, My life is very happy.

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Answer 8

I think you should ask him to get a check up to make sure he is "clean" you cant tell when he or you got it,and either of you may have had it before the cheating....
advice about the cheating,if you find out he is doing that again,dont forgive it a second time,after that,you will never have trust,and it sorta gives permission for him to cheat.
if you feel like he is cheating,or like you cant ever stop suspecting him,maybe try marriage counseling...everyone deserves to feel safe and secure in marriage! good luck

Answer 9

well, you forgave him for the cheating, then he brought a disease home too, i don't think the gestation of herpes is so long, it looks like he was messing around on you just recently.

well, forgive him for messing around on you AGAIN, then forgive him for bringing something nasty home and infecting YOU with it, then live your life like you used to

last thing i hear was that a good guy does not mess around with you and bring you home some nasty presents

Answer 10

No you mustn't stay purely with the aid of virus . you ought to stay because you forgave him and decide for to commit your self to a minimum of one yet another . i decide for you too think of long and annoying if there is any doubts on your recommendations he did it lower back once you purely sprung up with herpes ... First time outbreaks can flow left out , yet maximum human beings have there first outbreak with in the 1st 3-20 days of having it . Did you the two ensue to have your FIRST outbreak on the comparable time ? this could point out unfaithfulness as quickly as lower back, and that i could be suspicions too cant blame you for that . in case you do no longer think of that's the case and it exchange into from in the previous whilst he cheated i do no longer see the form you ought to ask one among those ingredient you forgave him for his strikes and desperate to proceed to repair your marriage in sickness and wellbeing my expensive , the seen that could have crossed your recommendations lower back then once you found out he cheated . additionally i could decide for to point out that the herpes virus can hibernate and you will have given it to him once you first met .. and he had a left out first outbreak after which you the two did no longer have yet another till you purely now have been given one outbreak .. they say Thats yet another threat. *stella* HERPES does no longer MAKE YOU INFERTILE !!! my mom had herpes years in the previous i exchange into even a twinkle in her eye . She had 4 toddlers . Oh and none human beings have been born with herpes . 3 human beings have been born vagainal the final C area.

Answer 11

See a doctor.
Hire a PI to check on him.
If it is proven true that he is still cheating, divorce him. If not then try to work it out by seeing a counsellor.