he does not know I have his email address and password and link to tagged and other teen sites. Went on there and I am very very upset, read mail between male friends he is still a virgin according to info, plus I keep a watch on where he goes. But this sex talk is horrible, and the girl is horrible too, I am very very angry, it makes playboy sound like barney. So I want to punish him for it, but on the same token, since I know his email password I can keep watch on him, at least til he graduates, how should I confront him and should I keep the passcode a secret? By the way if youre kids are on tagged you better monitor them, it is a kid site but it is far from it.
2006-08-04 16:19:08 · 22 answers · asked by knewyou 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
15 year olds talk a lot. A lot of it isn't pleasant, but it's their learning years.
A frank discussion with your child about what internet conduct you expect from him may be more effective than trying to follow his tracks.
Good luck. - Stuart
2006-08-04 16:24:07 · answer #1 · answered by Stuart 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't give up the fact that you know his password because he will change it and you may never find it out again. It's good that you keep a tab on your son but kids will be kids to some point. I'm not sure how bad the language was but if it as bad as you say then you have a big problem. Confronting him is going to be tough... how do you tell your 15 year old you know about his sex chats? Definitely take away his computer privelages! Let him know if this happens again then the computer is gone. On a happier note: at least he isn't out doing what he is talking about doing. Good Luck!
2006-08-04 23:27:42 · answer #2 · answered by Dana J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boys will be boys. It is natural for boys to fantasize about sex and about girls. The internet is a wonderful tool for learning and a terrible interpersonal tool for children. Your son needs to experience life and not manufacture it. You have the internet control not him. You could control the sites with software on the market. The girl may be real - could be someone he may want to meet someday or could be some cop from your local town or a sex perv male trying to get boys too.....the anonomous nature for the internet and the lies told can be as long as a mile.
I suggest you have a straight talk with him about the value of having the internet. You pay for it. You also need to teach him the value of people relationships and the respect people need to have with and for each other. Obviously you are embarrased by the sex talk - but you need to explain a good solid relationship to him to know the difference. Have a conversation about sex offenders, have a conversation each time the news comes on talking about the bad people on the internet....drive the message to him that there is evil out there and no one is free from being a target. I think should he catch you on the PC on his site you will lose his trust forever. If he talks about running away from home, you may need the password - but keep this out of all conversations.
Best luck.
2006-08-04 23:29:56 · answer #3 · answered by Kerry Z 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I applaud your efforts to keep a vigilant watchful eye over your son, however, at 15 the hormones are raging and peer pressure is tough. As long as he's online, he's exploring his sexuality without actually having sexual contact (this should ease your mind about diseases and a girl getting pregnant by him). I understand it's a shock at first, but if you confront him with anger and accusations...he will learn not to trust you (for invading his privacy) and will not come to you when he needs to talk openly about these changing feelings he's having. Back off, keep the lines of communication open, and lose the anger...we all explored to some degree as teens. If you don't make an issue of it, he will grow bored with it in time. However, be thankful he's keeping it online for now...it could be much worse
2006-08-04 23:29:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although I do not promote underage sexual activity, I still think this is a breach of your sons privacy. You should be able to trust your child enough to make the right decisions without being so closely monitored. I am just recently out of a parental household and I can remember how wronged I felt when I found out my mother had been reading my emails and such. You say you wish to punish him, but if he DOES get himself in some sort of trouble from his actions, that is punishment enough.
2006-08-04 23:28:34 · answer #5 · answered by Milford C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just bar this sites & create a password. You cant monitor him everyday.
Open the webpage you want to restrict, then click tools > 'internet options > security > click on 'restrict' then copy paste the URL > OK > Ok all open window.
Now again open Tools > internet option > Content tab > under content advisor click on settings > set a password (remember the password or give a hint of password in the space provided) > OK > OK to all open window.
At least with the above, he may be protected from other random sites.
2006-08-04 23:33:22 · answer #6 · answered by Vicky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Were you ever a kid? When I was a boy that age, way before the Internet, we used to break into the "adult/hardcore porn newspaper" boxes and steal the papers and go read them. Boys will be boys and girls do it too...So stop "monitoring" him and trust that he is a good kid. Control the stuff you can and should...like make sure he goes to and finishes school, does his homework and takes care of his responsibilities. If he finds out you are "monitoring" him he will never trust you again and will not come to you when he really should. Don't try to pick his wife either later on....let go, let him grow up.
2006-08-04 23:30:51 · answer #7 · answered by Perry L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a 15 year old. Girl..... I have changed the password on my computer and banned her from using it. I also spoke with her school and asked that she receive no internet there either. I cannot control others children so I must watch where she goes and who with closely to keep her away from that stuff. I guess I had to step up and be her mother instead of her friend.
2006-08-04 23:24:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am not sure who has the problem..you or your son.
kids do that. it is terrible and even disgusting but they do it..for a million reasons...to be funny, to sound cool like they know what they are talking about or whatever.
how can he feel trusted and trustworthy if you do not give him privacy?!!!
i think reading his emails is quite far fetched! poor kid...
i can not imagine what my parents would have thought of me if they read my emails when i was 15!! but i grew out of it and learned and am not even interested in talking or being that way at all.
i mean, if he is still a virgin....you should trust him and leave him alone. maybe all this talk is what is keeping him a virgin!
just my thoughts.
2006-08-04 23:28:25 · answer #9 · answered by deanna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move the computer to a public place in the house first and than just sit and watch.
he is not going out and getting someone pregnant so far he is just blowing off steam and some BS. he is 15 after all.
do not need to tell him you are spying on him and break all the trust he has for you, he will just learn to be more sneaking but make sure he has all the talks he needs about sex, respect and such
2006-08-04 23:26:18 · answer #10 · answered by G L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, don't mean to be rude but You are an idiot if you haven't already removed the puter from his room. Wait until he goes somewhere and remove it. Then fix it so that site isn't a problem anymore. Parents whine about little Johnny this or that while their rooms are loaded up like damned amusement parks. If you don't like what he is doing, you take it away, stand your ground and tell him why.
2006-08-04 23:25:25 · answer #11 · answered by doesitmatter 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋