One of my good frends opened up to me saying he's been having oral with some other guy like the guy blowing him like that, and it's been happening from time to time for 4 years now. I was really shocked when he said this to me, but i;ve known him too long to let something like this come between us. Anyway, he's a straight acting guy, and he asked me after why he still does it with that guy. And then he realli opened alot to me more saying he's afraid of havin relationships with girls cuz he's afraid he'll actually hurt them, like rape. He doesnt hav a dad he left him when he was juss a baby. Can anyone explain the cause of his situation? and could should he get some help?
2006-08-04 16:17:52 · 30 answers · asked by royg3n 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Good to hear that he is open with someone - you. That's a good thing, and means that when he does get some professional help (which, yes - he should definitely do - sooner than later) it will be easier for him to be open with these topics.
2006-08-04 16:22:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's gay. And that's perfectly fine. If he has any feelings for girls at all, they may be feelings he's trying to conjure up because he's still in denial about being predominantly gay, and he's trying to convince himself that he's not. The thoughts of rape are probably coming to his mind because he desperately wants to have an encounter with a girl to prove to himself that he is indeed gay, and maybe his desperation to do so may drive him to become aggressive. Or, he could be bisexual, and have encounters with both sexes, but have a hard time adjusting between being gentle with a girl and a little more aggressive with a guy. He will need to explore these feelings more deeply to get to the bottom of what's really going on, and with a licensed professional at that. He may have lots of underlying unresolved issues that need to be addressed. He will be much happier when he does. Just stick by him no matter what- he's going to need you as a friend.
2006-08-04 23:28:44 · answer #2 · answered by ?princesshousewife? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know this guy, and I dont want to offend anyone, but I think he might actually be gay. There is nothing wrong with that, but most people hate the thought of themselves being gay. In our little pothetic nation, it is looked down upon in general. But most guys have an extrimely hard time admitting it, even to themselves. He doesnt need help, he is just confused about what he is really feeling I think. Just be a good friend and be there for him, let him know that NO MATTER WHAT you will be there for him and your opinion wont change no matter what he tells you. Mayb then you can help him figure out what is really going on. I hope I was of some help, Good Luck!
2006-08-04 23:25:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is angry about something and he should get therapy to help him sort out his feelings. If hes havinongoing oral sex with another man then he is obviosuly enjoying it. But he should seek help in refernce to the feelings he has toward women before he winds up hurting someone. Just because his dad lekt when he wad a baby dosent give him the right to feel like that towrds women hes not the first person not to have a dad in his life nor wont he be the last.
2006-08-04 23:25:03 · answer #4 · answered by latiniagirl604 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is where helping can save someones life.. Thank God he has a friend like you. He needs to see a doctor and fast.. Tell him you will go with him if he needs support. This is his cry for help.. Do not pick up the paper some morning to a jaw drop and a life left full of guilt.. Help your friend.. Remember you are not a professional and can only guide him and be there for support... After that, getting better is on him.. You did your best.. Good Luck
2006-08-04 23:24:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anyone who admits to having feelings where they say they might hurt someone else needs help. Male or female. He says he doesn't think he wants to be with girls because he is afraid he might hurt (rape) them? Yes,....that falls under the category where emotional red flags are flying high. He should seek help and talk it over with someone soon. Be kind and understanding with him. Kindly suggest he see someone (professional help I mean) who can listen and help him work things out. Your a good friend to have around. I hope this helps.
2006-08-04 23:27:43 · answer #6 · answered by ktltel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats nice he can open up to u like that...that means ure a good freind or almost like a brother to him...he might need some help in the part that he says hes afraid of having relationships with girls cuz he might rape them...just keep being the great freind that u are and good luck..
2006-08-04 23:25:07 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's experimenting. Maybe he's confused about his sexual orientation? Don't get him help. He doesn't need it. It's normal for people to experiment. It's good that he knows his limits though. (the whole not wanting to be with a girl thing). If he is afraid of getting with a girl because he's scared he'll hurt her, at least he knows it and has control over it.
2006-08-04 23:28:57 · answer #8 · answered by simplexsmile 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might be that he's gay and struggling to realize and accept it. Maybe he's just explaining his rationalization for his actions to you.
If he was abused as a child, or had some other serious trauma, then that may explain why he is afraid of hurting girls in relationships. Therapy would be a good thing for that.
2006-08-04 23:31:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes he needs to get help it sounds like he feels what he is doing is wrong (not on his part) and most time when you feel bad then its bad if your friend trust anyone in a position tell them so he can deal with those things i would also say you stay his friend he is going to need you to stay and not run like other people have done it will cause him extra problems as long as he respect you
2006-08-04 23:29:27 · answer #10 · answered by sexysummer34 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋