why is it bad?

Question

why is it bad to have a baby before marriage? We have a 1 year old and we are living together and are staying together, but don't plan on getting married. Why would people consider this bad? All marriage is to me is a last name change and a ring. The divorce rate is so high, so why get married? We are still a happy family.

Answer 1

Preach on! You know what you are doing. Who cares what anybody else thinks.

Answer 2

Some people may think it's bad because they see it as the child doesn't have a mother and father vowed together in the long run.
Church's mainly are against this, and many see marriage as a lifetime commitment.
On a different subject, the divorce rate is really high.. many can't keep faithful to their spouse, which I think is off the wall.
Anyone in general wouldn't want to be hurt by when the one they love is screwing around with someone else, so why do it to them.

Answer 3

The original use of the term ignorant meant "lacking knowledge". Now, it is seen as some type of insult.

There are two main reasons for marriage.

The first reason is spiritual. If you believe in God at all, then two people stand before God and profess their committment to each other. The man presiding over the ceremony says "what God has put together, let no man tear assunder." You stand there, profess your committment, and in return (if you believe), God sews the two of you together. Then, in times of trouble, you can look to God to help you through difficulties. In our secular age, this is mocked and laughed at. But if you add up all the people that have lived on earth, millions more people believed in this than don't - so one can reasonably ask, who are the real fools?

The second reason is practical. If you've had any experience with breakups, they can start quickly, and then accelerate until everything is out of control. Insults fly, things are said, feelings are hurt, and the relationship is severely damaged. Its then easier to simply walk away. The legal existence of the marriage makes the "walking away" a little harder to do. It gives hurt feelings and enraged hearts time to simmer down so (perhaps) cooler heads can prevail.

People talk lots today about having a social "safety net" for those in society who are poor. Why would you NOT want a safety net to help you when the two of you might be going through a period when you are both poor in wisdom, and in your foolishness no longer see the value of your relationship together? Why would you NOT want a "safety net" for your own relationship with your son's father? With a man you (in theory) care greatly about? The marriage provides a time-proven structure to keep valuable relationships together during the tough times.

The fact that people scoff at committment, and in their ignorance, scoff at marriage, simply means they don't see the benefits - not that the benefits aren't there. For a long time, people didn't see the benefits of having regular exercise - of having a "structure" of activity to help keep themselves healthy for the long term. Now every one works out. Benefits can be all around you even when you don't see them.

Good luck with your child ... hopefully one day he'll have a Mom and Dad that are married.

Answer 4

It's very simple. Make your decision based on what you believe. If you believe in God then you know it's wrong and you need to get married. If you don't believe in God then do what you want. Although the real truth of the matter is that you aren't truly committed to each other. In reality you have one foot firmly planted outside the door.

Answer 5

It isn't bad, it's just that a lot of the older generation feels it's improper, or the kid wont be raised properly...it's mostly just being biased. It doesn't matter..if your married..all that matters is the child feels loved, comforted, supported, and wanted.

Answer 6

Who says u got ta be married as long as u and your man our happy taking care of your kid than it done matter what is on a piece of paper .

Answer 7

Just minor side effects. No spousal insurance coverage or dependant coverage. No social security for surviving spouse in case of death. No legal rights. Income tax problems.

Answer 8

You go girl! Happy together then leave it alone unless it is an issue in your relationship.

Answer 9

It is thought of as wrong by older generations. Don't stress and do what is right for you.

Answer 10

that's good for you. it's not BAD, it's just not traditional. anything against tradition is looked at funny. but, if you are happy---who cares what others think.