Are most of you like this?

Question

I don't get it. I see so many people who hang on to relationships that are not healthy and sometimes downright abusive. Why do people need to be in a relationships in order to feel complete? I mean if you have a desire to have sex, then have sex or masturbate or something... if you are lonely, hang out with friends or family! Why do people stay with a significant other when that significant other brings all kinds of drama to their life? Are people that scared of being single? Getting involved with someone who is not right is the reason so many people get divorced! I mean it's common logic! Sometimes I think fellow humans are so stupid! I would personally be a lot happier being single than I would be in a relationship with someone I'm not compatible with. I'll get involved with someone when I meet someone I think I can get along with and be myself around and vice versa... Seems like I'm one in a million...Does anyone else feel me on this???

I'm not 'judging' anyone! I know so many people in situations like this and it has nothing to do with how they were brought up, they are just stupid! For instance, my brother and his ex-wife got divorced (They are both in their 40's) and got involved with people who are worse to them then they were to each other! (my bro's new gf just uses him for money and my ex sis in law's new bf gets drunk and beats her!) It really pisses me off bc they have 4 kids (3 under 18) they are putting through hell! In my opinion they should know better! I am 26 and I know better and I don't have kids! Then there's my friend Joy who is dating this total loser who carries a gun and thinks he's 'hard' and she has a 4 yr. old daughter! I don't even hang out w/ her anymore bc I can't stand her dude! Seriously, I'm single an I refuse to settle for anyone who will not bring anything less than happiness and stability in my life.....

Answer 1

I think many people stay in destructive relationships because they lack the confidence and maturity to step away and stand alone. Often, it seems that people are dependent upon someone else, who may not be the best for them. If they could learn to value themselves, they might have the confidence to lead a better life and find a healthy relationship.

Answer 2

I see it from both angles. I got out of the bad relationship, and I know I'm better off. But I do get lonely, and friends and family are great to be around sometimes, but I still feel the need to be part of a couple. I can be in a crowd of people and everyone there seems like they have someone, and I'm the only one that's alone.

Answer 3

Yes there are others like you, some change as they age. everyone I know has an old maid aunt everyone feels sorry for. I have a 25 year old daughter who thinks like you.

On the other hand people with beautiful relationships don't ask questions on sites like this.

Most people have an irresistible urge to blend with another and become one. A lot of the people that need it the most pick the wrong people to do it with. because you do not have this need , you can not relate, the same that have it, can not understand you.

Answer 4

I would like to think that by the time I get into a going out situation I know my bf well enough and that I love him enough that I would rather make his life better, than dump him for my own benefit. I don't have sex, so that's not the problem. I have other friends, so thats not a problem either. I'm not afraid of being single, but it rather sucks. Maybe you just have no problem getting a bf, but not all of us are born with hourglass figures, brilliant minds, and a great sense of humor. Not all of us are perfect.

Answer 5

Very true. But people have a dependancy on others. Some feel that they really won't find someone else. And so they hang on to what's left of their hopeless relationships.

I agree with you, and I too would much rather be single than have all the drama and garbage one of these types of relationships give you.

Answer 6

most of us are like you in many ways put it hard to see the right person and some just are in a bad relationship and want to get away but some of it is the up bringing and they jump into the first relationship to get them away from their home life.

then you have some people that were kicked out of their homes at a young age and have to fend for themselfs and some die so dont judge every one.

Answer 7

Yes, you are absolutely right. And people who are divorced more than once have usually married the same type of person over and over again. It's insane.

Self esteem is the problem. Some people just don't feel worthy of being loved... maybe because their parents weren't very good at making them feel good about themselves.

So they search and search for somebody who will do that for them, and they truly end up getting involved with somebody like their mother or father.... who ALSO isn't good at making them feel good about themselves.

Answer 8

I think people are fearful of being single or expected to be married so they date even if the person is not right for them and it's a dysfunctional relationship. They like being in a relationship even if it's hurtful or they're not happy.

Answer 9

i feel u i know wut u mean, i've been in a few relationships for the fact to just be in a relationship and the fact is it's stupid to be with some1 u don't get along with, like u said its the reason there r soo many ppl gettin divorced and i don't want to end up like all those ppl i want to be with some1 that i get along with and if there is no 1 then i'm happy bein single cause i don't need any1 i got family and friends

Answer 10

I absolutely agree with your point of view!

My answer to this one person is how I am;
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AjVgu0NbeMiSCXjZlZDDdSDsy6IX?qid=20060804070034AApWfs7

And it drives me nuts that others can't just figure it out! Not that it's any of my business what others do, but when friends or acquaintances go on and on about their issues that they ultimately choose to have....

Anyway, continue to try and enlighten those in the dark, Girl. I know I will!

Good lovin to ya!