I Have some problems, I feel angry.?

Question

I am not physically violent, but I lose my temper and hit things, my life is driving me insane. I cant really go into details, because I don't want to talk about other people, I can say they these are not people in my life I can just leave behind. I also have really bad luck it seems like nothing works out well, more like sorta managable after a lot of difficulty.

Any advice?

That is my problem.

Answer 1

Stay away from whatever bothers you.

Answer 2

I've got one of those punch bag things hanging in the garage. I can really recommend 10 Min's of beating the daylights out of that to release any tension and frustration that has built up during the day. Then a half hour walk to warm down and to think about all the crap that's going on to bring it into some sort of order.
Good luck mate.

Answer 3

See a cousellor and work through your problems with anger. You say your life's driving you insane, what changes could you make to your life that would make you happy? Finally You say you've suffered bad luck, try and focus on the positives in your life, and remember there is always someone worse off than yourself.

Answer 4

Hi Phil

I understand your problem, but I would like to say so far you have had some good advice and some totally unthoughful advice, I think your problem is very clear.

Obviously the people you cannot just leave are either family or wife/child situation either way, I think it shows that you are honourable enough not to come on here and run people down, it also shows you understand things to an extent because you have an idea of where your anger stems from.

I would also like to add, for the person who said hitting objects, Is physically violent, I would love to see the court case brick wall VS Phil. I understand that what you mean is that you aren't lashing out at others whether the people, who are upsetting you, or people uninvolved.

I would agree that you should find an outlet for your pent up anger, because one day you will just not be able to take it anymore, and something really bad will happen.

We all experience anger, for a multitude of reasons Phil, I certainly have. What I found of value has been mentioned to an extent in here already, people have suggest a punchbag, therapy, the Dr, I agree whole heartedly with these ideas.

I used to take my frustration out on the punch bag, and lifting weights for example but that will only work if you can get away from the problem for long enough, in my case sometimes it was not possible, therapy can really help too but not on its own, and the Doctor certainly can help too.

The Idea I get from the way you have put your question, is very much one of self entrapment because you are "obligated" to these people in your life.

I would not immediately say, forget leave them behind, far from it, I think it is time to stop beatting yourself up inside,being stressed and confront your problems.

I don't mean hit someone instead of a bag, but instead of letting yourself be repressed, get yourself a voice, try to explain your feelings, when you are upset by someone tell them, if they are aggressive to you by, being snide or talking over you, then you talk over them.

It is time you put your foot down and said you are sick of it and won't take it either, you have a right to lead a decent life as much as anyone else.

Never let anyone make you feel you are that unimportant that you can't have your own views or that you don't deserve respect, because we all do.

What helped me was opening my mouth, I am not saying I never get angry at anyone but, I have also learnt patience too, sometimes you just have to demand respect to get it but once you have it, it is a lot harder for anyone to take it back off you.

It is important that you know what is right and wrong so be thoughtful of picking your battles so to speak, I mean dont argue your pizza has gone cold, or the wine is to warm, someone accidently opened an unimportant letter. You need to talk about the real problems, only you know what they are.

I do also think you need to see your GP also, he can give you a referal to talk to someone more experienced who you can talk through your feelings with, because that is equally important you need to get through all the memories emotions etc that are making you angry.

Also some anti-anxiety drugs from your GP will provide with support to get through the difficulties of your situation, and calm you down somewhat, smaller things will become less of irretating, but it is impossible to remove the major issues in your life, you would have to be out of your mind on drugs to do that and this would definitley be worse.

If you can try and get some space, I think that the fact you would be put on drugs, and have therapy should make the people you referred to realise there is a problem and hopefully listen and understand how they contribute to the problems you are having.

Bad luck is something I am used, but things have a way of working out, it can take years, I know some things in my life that have taken decades and I am just under 30. But with time things can and will be better with you do these things, and the bad luck will be more bearable.

All the best, I hope you sort things out

Regards Armand

Answer 5

You can release your anger loads of ways other than hitting things;

Hold ice cubes till they melt

Go to a field and scream!

Get a pet and talk to them - you can work things out in your head once you have said them out loud and pets dont answer back.

Go to a gym and run the agression off.

Once you have managed to control this im sure that everything else will not seem as bad.

Answer 6

You should get someone to talk to who is a professional. Especially since these are people that you cannot just get rid of. Talking to someone who is not a part of the problem can really help put things into perspective. Good Luck!!!!

Answer 7

We can not really help you if you don't explain whats on your mind. A good way is to write you feelings and thoughts in a journal. It does not matter if you are a male, journals are a great way to deal with life and express you opinions. Express how you feel because if you don't, all you emotions will come out at a wrong time. If you feel suicidal, then seek help immediately.

Answer 8

Learn the Serenity Prayer:

God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I can not change
The courage the to change the things I can
And the Wisdom to know the difference.

Remember you can change yourself and not others.

Exercise daily helps burn off the anger. Running and weight lifting are best.

Learn to talk about things before you are annoyed.

Stop using drugs and alcohol. Go to AA or NA if you are using.

Most insurance covers therapy. It helped me.

Answer 9

Well First get a Stress ball I have the same problem but i have to squeeze things hard and its weird because i dont know why! but then you should tell your (people,friends) people that you have this problem and maybe they can help you

Answer 10

You need to talk to someone, anger is bad for you. When I am angry I hit things too, one of my favourite things is my punch bag down stairs it helps me a lot.

Answer 11

I'm the same the little things get right up ya nose. and boom ya just go. if ya feel like this there is some were ya can go. also go have a word with ya doctor. if ya feeling st-rest he can help. also their is bpd world look them up on the net and read it. if you feel like any of it. reg with them and talk over the net. its all inconfidence. you folk have no idear. what its like.stop pruning on getting him to talk. somthings best left alone.phil ya got ma mess ill be a wake a bout 10 am uk time.