I always try to achieve the best things in life. I got into a good course (which accepts only the top 2% of those who passed) in a good university , got a great position (i started with the lowest position then got promoted 6 times in 4 years) in a great company, was able to get the greatest girl as my GF, but I never seem to finish anything. I wasn't able to finish my course and was transferred to another university, i got promoted to a position which is not quite the position I was aiming for, and never had enough guts and resources to ask my GF to marry me. I'm starting to think that I'm a big loser. What should I do?!
2006-08-04 14:10:31 · 8 answers · asked by johlog_ric 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You sound a lot like me. You probably haven't considered it, but is is possible you have attention deficit disorder. Technically, I don't even call it a real condition, it is just a term to describe those who have trouble in certain cognitive ways. And all ADD people aren't the stereotypical hyperactive kid who can't pay attention to anything - many are simply people who can't seem to finish things, who lose interest and move onto the next thing.
Search online for self-diagnostic questions. I am ADD - "inattentive". Drugs, such as Adderall might help, but also you may just have to change your definition of success. Either way, you're not a loser. Each person is different. You are the way you are - seek to understand why you are the way you are - that's the first step to accepting yourself.
good luck.
2006-08-04 14:55:07 · answer #1 · answered by rj 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, u have got a really gud life out there, it's just that u r letting things happen rather making things happen. See, make good use of all what u have got.
Take some time alone and look at ur life and work out how u can get everything straight. And the improtant thing is to do it! No pain, no gain. No one's a loser, it's only coz u think u don't have the guts but actually u have them. It's all in the mind! Just go on and ask her to marry u! There's no big deal in that...she knows u well enuf, I believe! Abt ur job, if u r not happy, then change it. If u are not ahppy with anything, u can't do it well. So decide now.
Don't worry too much. Just take life as it comes....
2006-08-04 21:22:15 · answer #2 · answered by K.P. 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds to me that you've finished many things and have succeeded greatly. It also sounds like maybe there's a part of you that feels you are achieving too much based on perceptions of what you THINK you SHOULD do while neglecting some of your other simple needs. You are not a loser by a long shot. Getting the best girl does not mean that she's the best girl for you. Getting the best job does not mean it's the best job for you. Being successful is measured on many scales, the most important of which is loving yourself and giving yourself permission to do what feels good and whole and right.
Just my reaction to so much emphasis on achievement and sandwiching the GF between school and work accomplishments.
2006-08-04 22:13:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your picking some pretty big goals. You need to stay focused on what is the next small goal. In stead of looking at how to finish college you would want to look at what you need to do in order to finish this one class. After that class it will put you one step closer to achieving your big goal. And reward yourself for completing a small goal. You could go buy yourself something fun, or go out and have a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant. And make sure these are the goas you want, not goals that other people want for you. It's no fun to go through life trying to get what others want when in the end it's not exactly what you wanted. Good luck and I hope you can find what you need to do.
2006-08-04 23:09:26 · answer #4 · answered by I_am_Here_and_Happy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go watch children starving to death in Africa; that should perk you up a bit. You think you're an efing loser, I'm a 20 times loser (just bragging, more like ten or something). Try not to take yourself too seriously, take yourself out to dinner you as probably got the cash for that, and if it comes to mind, you might think of taking your GF out with you. Give her the big rocket for me, would ya, and don't forget to kiss her good morning. Cuddle after, like you really mean it.
2006-08-04 21:22:47 · answer #5 · answered by Psyengine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm thinking you're not feeling challenged enough. Or could it be you are having trouble focusing? ADD?
Whatever it is, I think you're gonna be fine cause now you realize that you should have gone after what you wanted,...like your gf. If you really love her, you can turn it around beginning with her. Go after her and tell her that you made a mistake. You know that you took her and other things for granted.
Man, it happens to all of us. Don't beat yourself up!
2006-08-04 21:22:22 · answer #6 · answered by kjbartlin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here you are at the smoorsgabord of Creation and you're given a full platter (because of your braggadacio) and you CHOKE...
You wanted it....
You were offered it....
You change your mind....
and like your (mother's name here) you just aren't that easily satisfied.....
(Lower your standards)
If you think how you were
'grown-up' doesn't matter disregard this message.
Get closer to the 'relative stinkness' of Nature :)
2006-08-04 21:37:51 · answer #7 · answered by frankhonesty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem to be somewhat of a perfectionist--not a bad thing. Lighten up on yourself.
2006-08-04 21:22:13 · answer #8 · answered by Hayseedless 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋