Ok we've been together 3+yrs, she's loved me deeply from day one. i was her first love and first...you know. However in my adolecese(near 1yr mark) i cheated and received oral from another woman one night when drunk. I confessed to her and have not cheated since (2+yrs). we've had our ups and downs, countless arguements (i hit her once, God forgive me...never again). but also the deepest love and best times and memories togeter, we've experienced alot, and we've always found our way back to each other. Recently we had a really big arguement and i bluffed alot of things cause i thought it was over, we reconciled. later i learn she has had a male "friend" for over a year, she didn't tell me about cause she thought i'd be mad, and they were just friends. recently she left 4 him and keeps telling me she wants me but not the bad times. loves/wants 2 be with me, and not him. they kissed but that's it. what do i do. i want 2 change 4 her but is she just playing games with me. it hurts so bad
2006-08-04 13:42:03 · 8 answers · asked by ChangedMan 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Her affair probably stems from her fear and pain from the initial deception and violence. Those are two things a woman can never forget and it is extremely hard to heal from. Those are the Cardinal sins in a relationship. I would leave you too. Sorry but you've treated her badly.
2006-08-04 13:53:58 · answer #1 · answered by miso1cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you say you want to change for her and the truth is you can't change for someone else you have to change because it is what you want to do. As for her it sounds like she doesn't really know what she wants. A relationship, any relationship, takes work and there are always going to be bad spots you just have to be able to work together to get through them. If she has been hiding this "friend" for a year then that doesn't say a lot about the trust in the relationship and you have to have trust. If it was me I would move on and not go through anymore of the drama yes you love her but if she doesn't trust you enough to be honest about her freinds and then leaves you for that same person I would say she is playing games and keeping you both out on a limb until she decides what she wants
2006-08-04 13:57:42 · answer #2 · answered by Martha S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound like she's playing games. More important than what to do about her is what to do about you. Countless arguments, cheating (even when you were young), a really big argument, and "bluffing" do not sound to this old man like someone I'd want my daughter going out with. So, painful as it is, if I were you, I'd get into counseling and figure out how to fix me so I could be the best person possible and then try to find a woman with whom I could communicate, negotiate, and relate. Things will go a LOT smoother.
2006-08-04 13:58:45 · answer #3 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will continue to be hard, but things happen for a reason.
My Opinion is keep your distance tell her not to call you, and you do the same, i know its really hard. but you need time for your self it was meant to happen "have a break" get your thoughts, feelings, and mind together. there is allot to think about, "is it worth it, do you want to do it all over again, is it going to work out" so on so forth.... you really have to think about things.. The love is there, but at the same time its just comfort... keep in mind that you both are young.. your first is always going to be in thought, remember i said thought, not heart.... you will get over it in time, you have to meet new people, and if anything you have to find your self and what you want...
blessings, and good luck.... try to be happy and stay around close friends... it is a learning experience.... you will see...
take care
2006-08-04 15:03:29 · answer #4 · answered by beaner 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay yall were to together and you cheated on her,let me tell you that was a mistake that you will pay for everyday,she might say that she forgives you but deep inside it will be hard for her to trust you again.and the fact that you hit her well she should have left your *** then.you say that yall have shared many things made memories but it sounds like to me yall are drifting apart that she is not sure what she wants,and that could be because she isn't sure about you anymore.the sad fact is maybe its time to let this relationship go maybe just go your separate ways and firgure out what you both want.you say you want to change but it could be too late but i hope it works out if it don't remember you probley have put everthing in this relationship that you could and it time to end it..........................................
2006-08-04 13:56:29 · answer #5 · answered by dede2772 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to say goodby
2006-08-04 13:51:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, i don't know how to help you on this one mate! sry that this is happening to you though!
2006-08-04 13:47:32 · answer #7 · answered by Flame Alchemist 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow...... you two have problems.....and you need to figure out if you can fix those things....if not ...move on.....dont stay with pain
2006-08-04 13:48:31 · answer #8 · answered by Stacey Lee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋