My boyfriend of two years used to date men, this was a long time before he met me. We have been dating for two years now amd I luv him dearly and he loves me. He's honest with me has been faithful thus far, but my friends and family don't agree. Give me your opinions and please be fair.
2006-08-04 12:57:16 · 13 answers · asked by nola232 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think you need to have an heart-to-heart with him and find out whether he's gay or just bisexual. If he's gay, I really doubt yours will be a lasting relationship. It certainly won't be a sexual one (but maybe you that's what you want. Maybe that's what he wants).
If he's bi...I think it could work. As long as you stay open minded about his sexuality. And yours.
Bottom line: be safe. Both of you.
2006-08-04 13:05:29 · answer #1 · answered by allaboutthewords 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I, personally, would not be able to be involved with someone with that "past". I don't think he's a horrible person for it, but most gay and heterosexual people all say they have never questionned their own preferences. If your boyfriend's identity is something he's switched back and forth on it means he has some issues, and it means you will probably run into negative consequences as a result of it either now or later. I don't mean to be mean, but there is also the chance his past means a higher risk of disease. Finally, there's just the "icky" factor - how could you be with someone who has also been with men? I know it may not seem "fair", but sometimes the "icky" factor is the thing that keeps us out of unhealthy relationships.
I think you should remain his good friend but don't let the relationship be more than that. Ask any heterosexual person or gay person who have known all their life their preferences. Your boyfriend is either mixed up (not good for you) or else not picky (also not good for you).
2006-08-04 13:09:25 · answer #2 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love the "fair" the clowns the elephants and the Cannonball Man being shot out of that cannon its so enthralling. Whats going to happen (being totally hypothetical of course) if he decides he wants to be the "ball-ee" and not the "Ball-er" just for a little while?
Are you emotionally stable enough to forsee that it could very well happen again, by chance, or by choice?
I think "knowing" is a double edged knife which kinda means if she knows it then it won't be too much of a surprise and/or if "I'm lucky maybe she'll make concessions to please me" and "join" in on the fun!?!
If your going in to this "EYES OPEN" and prepared for anything and I mean anything that could accompany the luggage this man brings into your relationship then by all means be happy if for only the short while.
I have to side with the family in that he'll in no way stop and be the perfect 'man' for you......
But as life goes on, maybe you'll find a "perfect significant other" who doesn't exactly fill the bill but who will?
Whomever you allow to. It's your happiness your putting up to the auction block...make sure your reserve is high enough and don't sell yourself short.!!
............think about it..............
2006-08-04 13:18:15 · answer #3 · answered by MsEagleTX 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do think that since he dated men before you,that he may miss being with a man.However,the fact that you believe in him and he is honest with you,says something.It says that you love and trust in each other.The fact that you have total communication is perfect.Communication is the key to any healthy relationship.We,as people,never know what could happen in our lives or in our relationships.All we can do is trist in ourselves and each other and hope for the best.Will he ever cheat on you?I don't know.Will it be with a man??Or woman??Only God knows but you have trust and communication which is a whole lot more than some couples have.Good luck and listen to your heart.
2006-08-04 13:06:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it could affect it in a way and den again he can really be true to u and nothin will affect ur relationship lik in a bad way he can cheat on u wit a guy or leave u for one but if u have been together for a long time and he says he luvs u and he shows no intrest in guys any more den u and ur dude r safe from any thing bad in ya'll s future
2006-08-04 13:05:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow this is a tough one. I was ready to say if he has gone to counseling and received help.Worked on his problems it shouldn't. I also thought your past can effect your future in your relationship also. Now I'm not sure. To be honest if you both really and truly love each other and are completely satisfied with each other then it may work out.You both need to be 100% honest with each other.
2006-08-04 13:07:46 · answer #6 · answered by Linda R 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need too ask yourself this question ! Do you think that his past will affect your relationship ? You should know him by now and if at any time has he done anything too hamper your relationship? I guess you could listen too your family but who knows him better, you or your family? Come on girl you need to talk to your boyfriend, not anyone else.
2006-08-04 13:06:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess if you can understand his past then everything should be OK. If you are happy then your family should be happy for you. We are all human and the lives we've lead and the things we chose to do in the past can't be changed and I think he is very fortunate to have you.
2006-08-04 13:04:00 · answer #8 · answered by Kim M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing I would do is point blank ask him. Is he still attracted to men? If he has come to a point that he really has a grip on his self identity then possibly a real change has occurred.
2006-08-08 05:56:24 · answer #9 · answered by thetruth 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could just be a cover up for his family for his gay lifestyle.
I guess we will be hearing from you again when he starts having affairs with other men.
2006-08-04 13:05:20 · answer #10 · answered by Grandpa Shark 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋