Is sexuality a choice? or are we born that way?

Question

I am a heterosexual male. I did NOT chose to be heterosexual. I just am. How does that not apply to homosexuality? Aren't gay people born that way? And if that's the case, isn't it wrong to deny them any right because of the way they are born?

How is this not racist? How is this different from denying someone rights because of skin color, ethnicity, nationality, religious beliefs, etc?

I think one day we will look back on this issue the same way we look back on segregation and racism today.

Instead of writing "How is this not racist?" I should have written "How is this not like racism?" I apologize for any misunderstandings.

The heading should also read "is sexual orientation a choice? Or are we born that way?" -just clarifying, to avoid any further confusion.

fr_chuck: I agree that a lot of discrimination is completely legal, but discriminating me for having different hair color or shoes you don't like isn't going to take my right from marrying someone.

As for people who are born with a desire for young children sexually, my answer to you is this: I agree, there are people born with certain desires. Some people are born with homicidal tendencies, BUT, the big difference is CONSENT. And I think that should be the determining factor. A person with a desire to kill does not consult his victim before killing them. What is wrong with two consenting homosexual adults having a relationship? They know what they're going into and neither side is being forced, which is a HUGE difference from sexual abuse of any kind (hetero or homo).

Rob D. Marx: Same answer to you, also. It would be completely A O.K. for you to rob banks if it was OK with the bank, do you understand? Consent=OK, No consent=NOT OK.

Joe Pearce: You analogy is completely invalid. I don't see how cheating on your wife is the same as acting on your homosexuality. I think cheating is wrong in any form. It would be wrong for a guy to cheat on his wife with another woman, just as it would be wrong to cheat on his wife with a male. Likewise, it would also be wrong for a married homosexual to cheat on his partner with another man (or woman).

Answer 1

Sexual preference, in my most humble opinion , is a choice. Skin color is not. One cannot and should not cry civil rights issues based on sexual preference. You can't hide the color of your skin, but you certainly can your sexual preference. I notice, too, the use of 80 percent in one of the answers. I don't think there are more that 1/2 of 1 percent of the entire worlds population who claim to be gay. So how would 80 percent of that compute? Fly Specks.

Answer 2

I dont believe the proper term is rascist (I have no idea what to call prejudice against gay people, maybe homophobia, i guess?) But yes I believe about 80% of gay people are born that way which I believe (just a theory) that there was some kind of difference in the hormone receptor portion of the brain where a woman picks up on a womans hormones and vice versa. However, I think some people become gay through simple influence and life experiences.
BTW sexist is a term used for gender discrimination NOT sexual orientation discrimination.

Answer 3

Sexuality is not really a choice, but it is also not like racism.

Racism is based on how someone looks. Most homosexuals don't look any different than heterosexuals. Racism causes economic damage. Most homosexuals enjoy a higher per capita income and lifestyle than heterosexuals, so there is not economic damage.

However, there are privileges that our legal system has awarded to certain groups in an arbitrary manner based on custom. For example, married people have tax benefits that do not apply to unmarried people. Rather than extend these benefits to homosexuals, it may make better sense to remove these benefits from the legal system altogether, as there is no reason for them to be there other than patriarchal religious customs.

Otherwise, any family or designated friend should be allowed to obtain the same benefits. It is ludicrous to accord financial and legal benefits to people based on the fact that they are sex partners, whether they are homo or heterosexual, imo.

Answer 4

My personal view is that you are what you are, and you don't really have a choice on certain things. Sexuality is one of those things that just is - you don't choose it.

Why? I don't know. They're doing studies trying to define it. But the bible thumpers that say it's a sin should mind their own business. God will decide on their judgment day if it is or not. Until then, it is really not of your concern, and you should leave it alone.

Humans in general don't like it when someone is different. Homosexuality is different from the "norm", so others look down on them.

My thoughts are it's none of my business what goes on in their love life. I don't want anyone looking in or controlling who I sleep with, and I will not do it with anyone else.

And it's not racist because homosexuality is not a race. It is a lifestyle. And discriminating against someone for that would be like discriminating against those that have shag carpeting and wear gold chains.

And last I checked - adultery was a sin as well. Why are we not chastising the "preachers" that have affairs with hookers, and the priests that sexually molest young boys? Why do they get protection? All questions for the religious right and the holier than thou.

Answer 5

I think it is a combination of what people have when they are born and the way they grow up. I have heard that the more sons a woman has, the more likely it is for that son to be gay because her body starts to treat it more like a female fetus which would be more natural to her body. Yet I know that men that were sexually abused as children are likely to be homophobic, and would chose NOT to be gay, no matter what.
But honestly, I don't think heterosexuality, homosexuality, or bisexuality really are choices people can make. It is just who they are.

Answer 6

Primarily, in my own case, I was born a heterosexual female. I remember having a very strong physical attraction to my DENTIST as a young pre-schooler, and also to dark male Mediterranean types. I am still attracked to that type to this day. I do not prefer blonds which are more in keeping with my ethnic and nationalities backgrounds. Secondarily, I think it must be a choice or perhaps a forced situational choice. I am liberal, but I do not have an opinion on gay marriage. I am a strong health care advocate for all people regardless of sexual orientation. I was studying for a BSN in nursing school. I have been close to several gay and lesbian persons in my lifetime. They are just like the rest of us. We have to remember, we are all one! When one of us dies, we all die! Sounds Jewish doesn't it.

Answer 7

Homosexuality is a choice of a sexual partner based on gender, as is the case for those who are heterosexual. All humans (at least most) have some level of sexual drive that results in a physical reaction to sexual stimuli from another human. Each of us have “learned behaviors” that determine how and when we are going to react to those stimuli when confronted with them. From our understanding of those “learned behaviors” we each make a choice about the level of reaction that we are going to allow. Society, moral values and other factors help us to determine what is “appropriate” and what is not. But each and every sexual experience is a “choice” by at least one if not both of the participants. The euphoric effect from sexual experiences often overpowers those “learned behaviors” and clouds the “choice” but it is still a “choice”.

Every society on the face of the earth has developed a set of norms for what “choices” are acceptable with in that society. We send adults to prison if that “choice” involves children or the infirm. We do the same if one partner is unwilling regardless of their respective genders. Is not unwillingness a “choice”? One can argue that a homosexual act between two adults should be among the acceptable “choices” but you cannot deny that both parties must make a “choice”. If sex were not a matter of “choice” would we not all be having sex with one another? It is the ability to make those “choices” and determine what is acceptable in a given society that both defines that society and differentiates humans from most animals.

And this choice has nothing to do with race!

Answer 8

I don`t mean to sound equivocating, but the truth is that for some people homosexuality is something they are born with. For others, separation from the other sex over a long period of time, (such as in jail or at war) and a strong sex drive will make any male look more attractive. And thirdly, there are men who are very disappointed in their relations with women and turn to homosexuality for a more meaningful relationship.

Answer 9

I think it's both. I personally know women who have had children with men, then decided to have girlfriends. They can't say they have no sexual attraction to men. I think some people are born that way and some open minded people make the choice to see beyond gender, and love the person for who they are. but denying rights to anyone is wrong, and people are letting their religious views get in the way of what is fair.

Answer 10

I am also heterosexual male and I didn't CHOOSE either. I beleive we were born with our sexual orientation. However, I bet you will get a few liars answering this question explaining how they "chose" to like girls or guys. As if they sat down day and said hmmm should I be gay or straight?