His 2nd marriage is failing and he's realized the grass wasn't greener on the other side. He flirts with me and he's said before he would like to come back to me, the mother of his kids. The only problem is I don't know what his real motive is in coming back. I would love to have him back if he'd act right, and the kids would love it if he came back. Should I give it another chance?
2006-08-04 12:45:02 · 2 answers · asked by ? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've read that sometimes the 2nd time around is better than the 1st because you learned what to do and what not to do and you also try harder.
2006-08-04 13:04:07 · answer #1 · answered by dean_moriarty00 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This happened to me. We got back together 4yrs ago.
First couple of months were great. Then the arguments started.
They always ended with me throwing up the past and telling him to go. Kids gave him a hard time as well for a while.
He seemed to expect things to slip back the way they were before, as if he'd never left. But I'd survived the hurt of the break up and coped without him so I was no longer the same woman he'd married. I was much stronger than before.
The turning point was when I realised that although I didn't NEED him there I WANTED him there.
From then on things just got better and better.
2006-08-04 13:17:26 · answer #2 · answered by maggie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mind games take many forms that you may not think of, for example, pretending you're in love with someone else or planning to be with another (to make your ex jealous) is a terrible thing to do, and can seriously backfire.
Don't be mean or vicious. Going back to controlling your emotions -- you probably feel like taking revenge of striking back for the pain it caused you. Think deeply about this -- imagine how much worse the situation could become by fighting fire with fire.
To come up with a solution to this saying, the only thing to fight fire with is water. Obviously this is a metaphor, but the meaning here is to defuse the situation instead of resorting to base instincts.
It's not a nice thing, especially when children are involved to disrespect the other person, no matter what he feel they have done to you. You don't want to poison the minds of others, as you may end up hurting them as well.
Keeping a calm demeanor about yourself and continuing on with your life will make you much more approachable, and when you have really calmed down, it will be a lot easier to discuss the situation in a civilized way.
This is only the very beginning of making amends and getting your relationship back together, and it is a good idea to seek further advice as to where to go next.
These are just the beginning steps when asking - what can I do to get my ex back They are the initial techniques I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. I turned to T 'Dub' Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.
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2015-08-19 20:57:43 · answer #3 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I remarried my 1st husband and although we are still together (Have a little girl now) I would not recommend it. Be together sure, but before you make that lifetime commitment again, seriosly do some soul searching and ask the other to do the same.
Why do you want them back,
what broke you apart,
and what is different today?
If you can not answer these questions satisfactory, then you both may need to spend time apart and time alone from other people for awhile.
2006-08-04 14:21:37 · answer #4 · answered by deleted 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Build up the trust you two shared again by showing him that he can talk to you about anything. If you can become his confidante now, that will establish a strong connection that will help you once his new relationship ends. If he does start talking to you about problems with his girlfriend, don't take his side. Remain as neutral as you possibly can. This will show him that you're mature enough to offer guidance without trying to persuade him to end things with her. He'll feel closer to you and once the dust settles after his next break up, you'll be the one waiting to pick up the pieces of his heart.
Learn exactly what you need to be doing and saying to win your ex boyfriend back. Doing the wrong thing can mean the end of the relationship forever.
Don't give up on him if you believe he's the man you are meant to be with. There are specific methods you can use that will make you irresistible to him again.
Go to see more: https://tr.im/3zNcj
2015-05-03 15:12:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We were married 16 years when she divorced me. Stayed single for 4 years and remarried another girl (Niagara Falls wedding), lasted for 5 months , talking with ex all during this period because of kids, divorced the 2nd realizing what a stupid mistake that was and I really wanted my 1st back so we got remarried within 45 days of final divorce from 2nd and have been remarried 6 years now. Some of us realize sooner or later what we lost and are smart enough to go and get her back no matter what it takes. Its a better relationship the 2nd time around.
2006-08-04 13:20:31 · answer #6 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are hints of doubt in every decision, and how you react after the breakup can either confirm or contradict those doubts. Begging, pleading, and groveling will not win her back. Behaviors and actions portraying you as needy or desperate will only support her impulse to end your relationship.
You'll also commit the critical mistake of turning her support group against you. Every action and mistake you've made is multiplied as it's discussed and examined at length with her family and friends. In most cases, the less they have to talk about the better your situation will be.
Every woman wants what they can't have, and if you've stopped calling, texting, and sending emails every twenty minutes they'll want to know why.
Go to : https://tr.im/eBgoO
2015-05-22 13:49:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This Site Might Help You.
RE:
Anyone here get back with an ex husband and it worked out?
His 2nd marriage is failing and he's realized the grass wasn't greener on the other side. He flirts with me and he's said before he would like to come back to me, the mother of his kids. The only problem is I don't know what his real motive is in coming back. I would love to...
2015-08-06 06:36:27 · answer #8 · answered by Grazia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A great way to get your ex back is https://tr.im/YJivs
They might realize they need you and come crawling back!
If you do get back together, don't let the same issues that destroyed your relationship crop up again. Have a good, long talk about how you're both going to make it right this time.
2015-01-28 07:37:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 6⤋
Texting lets you control the tone and establish what kind of conversation you want to have. Learn here https://tr.im/textexback
This is probably the most important part. With texting, you can stop and think about what you want to say to your ex at each step of the way. Instead of reacting emotionally, you can take your time, figure out the right thing to say (I’ll give you most of it), and be strategic with your ex without saying something that you’ll regret.
2016-01-12 03:27:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Flirting with you and saying how he wants to get back together is not a valid enough reason to allow him to come back. If he has changed and for the better, he will not hestiate to let you know his real motives and prove to you that he is for real. There's a reason why his 2nd marriage is failing and instead of him trying to fix that, look at what he is wanting to do.
2006-08-04 13:01:27 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋