My wife of 11 years went on an "all girls" trip last year. While on the trip, she met a guy at a club and they hung out and drank together. At the end of the night, he asked to take her to the beach for a walk. During the walk, he talked about how beautiful she was and how great of a person she was, etc, They then sat down and he talked about how he liked water/waves/all that. He then began to kiss her. They kissed for a while and then he unbuttomed his pants and exposed himself. She started to play with him and then kissed him down below and he came within a minute or two. She says she just got caught up in the moment and the intent was not for an orgasim, but just some playful kissing. She states that they never talked about what happened but they did exchange numbers and talked from time to time. She confessed to having a friend at the end of last year. She broke off the relationship & really improved as a person/got religious. Last week, she confessed the sexual episode
2006-08-04 11:04:57 · 17 answers · asked by Confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I still love her and I think she loves me. We have 4 children.
2006-08-05 09:04:53 · update #1
If you can forgive her than you can give your marriage another try. However, you must forgive her first or it will remain in your mine and marriage will get worst.
2006-08-04 11:11:32 · answer #1 · answered by Looking 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When was the last time you took her alone on a trip, walked with her and told her she was beautiful and you loved her?
Not excusing her episode (although the "improved as a person this year" bit sounds like a performance appraisal at work) - but I think that your marriage is in trouble and you both need to address your compassionate sides and pay attention to each other.
2006-08-11 23:36:14 · answer #2 · answered by scarlettboca 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a horrible mess! I'm sure you must be beside yourself. you really need to talk openly with her and talk about the reasons for her going over the side. The trouble is the human mind can play great tricks on us and every time she says she is going somewhere that you dont quite trust or if she says she wants to go away again you will always think of what happened.People do move on but please be open and talk about your fears and try to find out what she was missing in the first place. happy chatting x
2006-08-11 12:17:35 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would forgive her for the sake of your children and also remember that everyone is human. Just don't let her go on any more "girl" trips. She lost that priviledge when she violated your marriage. She should understand that.
You two need to get counseling. If she ever cheats again, I recommend ending the marriage because she is obviously not serious about changing and will continue to cheat.
2006-08-12 13:23:38 · answer #4 · answered by NELLIEJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The ball is in your court. If you want the marriage to work you have to truly forgive her and not throw it back in her face. If you can't do that, then the marriage is over. Without forgiveness, there's nothing left. Sounds like she is trying really hard to change her life and repent for her mistakes. It's all up to you now. Go for professional help if you feel you can't do this on your own and you want the marriage to work. Good luck.
2006-08-04 21:20:40 · answer #5 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think your wife is trying really hard to save your marriage and that she loves you still. I know that it is hard to just forget everything about it but it is important for you to forgive her. I don't think that you should get divorced but you as a couple should see a therapist so that you can gain the trust that was lost between you. Don't throw in the towel just because one of you messed up. No one's perfect. Fight for your marriage man! Hope this helps :-)
2006-08-12 14:37:29 · answer #6 · answered by cryssi101983 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confused,
You sure are. How can you set an esxample for the kids???
She is a poor mother if she can do something like this.
I would tell her that you cannot live like this. sad for the kids,but, this will happen again. She wants others and is not intertested in being a mom and at home with just one man.
2006-08-12 17:58:18 · answer #7 · answered by -------- 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say give another go at it...i also suggest some coupling counseling so u can deal with your emotions, but if you and she have a chance to have a happy, loving relationship,dont pass it up.....It will bring your family closer and it would be great for your children....Good Luck
2006-08-12 18:10:41 · answer #8 · answered by eve11en 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She admitted her fault and is sorry that the episode happened.I guess now she realized that family and her vows of marriage is important. Now the hard job is for you to forgive her and move on from this episode.With your love and praying to God,your marriage should be on track for eternal love.
2006-08-12 00:47:33 · answer #9 · answered by ric m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She broke out clean with her confession. She's changed and she is sorry. It looks like you are the person she wants to be with. Only god can judge and forgive, you have to try to forget and move on.
2006-08-04 18:57:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i cant believe you know all those details- at any rate- if its in your heart to forgive her then do so, but you cant hang it over her head, because that will cause resentment on both parts- she made a mistake owned up to it and said she was sorry and if you think she is then maybe she is- people do get caught up in moments
2006-08-11 12:37:53 · answer #11 · answered by shannon 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋