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Im in a real dilemna! All my life I have struggled financially and barely made it. Fact being, I was unemployed for 3 weeks and now playing catch up. I have 8 dollars to my name to last to the 9th. My gf is pregnant and Im so scared and freaked out. I can barely take care of myself much less a child. I want her to abort it, but she doesnt want to. I dont want to put a child thru 10% of what I have been thru. If its better off not being....then is it right?

2006-08-04 10:55:20 · 42 answers · asked by nfnte69 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting Pregnancy

42 answers

First off...She is pregnant...not "WE". Second, you should have thought about consequences before you put your penis in her vagina without a condom. 3nd..just sell the baby.

2006-08-04 11:03:10 · answer #1 · answered by mslorikoch 5 · 0 0

My suggestion: use this baby as motivation to change your life for the good. Your girlfriend is against aborting the baby--you talking her into it will ruin your relationship and maybe your lives (guilt, resentment, etc.). So, it's time to take an honest look at your life--what do you need to do to change? Do you need further education to make an income? How about school, apprenticing or joining the military? What do you need to do to be a good dad? Get to church, change some habits, hang around other men that are good dads? Do you want to marry this girl? If so (and she wants you), marry her now, broke and all. Get a budget, learn contentment, work 3 or 4 jobs for a little while to make your life better in the long run. It's OK to be scared, very normal. Even if you had money, you'd be scared for some reason--having a kid changes your life. But, it can change it into something so much better if you choose to let it.

There is a verse in the Bible where Joseph is confronting his brothers who sold him into slavery. Because of it, he was able to save a whole bunch of people. He says to them, "What you meant for ill, God meant for good." Maybe this situation is like that, what sounds like a really bad thing right now, could turn into a really good thing in the long run.

2006-08-04 11:18:30 · answer #2 · answered by Sylvia M 4 · 0 0

This is too tricky. But when my hubby and I found out I was pregnant we were in the same kind of dilemma (kind of). I was in school and he had just started a new job, but we picked ourselves up and we are very well off, and the baby isn't even here yet.

We decided to keep the baby because she should not suffer for our mistakes. Besides, it takes more than money to raise a child, and if you have the love you need to give to it you'll be fine.

Besides, you cannot force your gf to have an abortion, and if she does not want to than she must feel like it will be alright.

When my parents had me they were very well off, but when they got divorced my mom ended up moving us to a homeless shelter for a while when we were kids, so even if you were financially ready now, that doesn't mean you would be down the line. So just because you are broke now doesn't mean you always will be.

If your gf keeps that baby just know that it is just as much your responsibility as it is hers, because you were both in that bed.

Good luck

2006-08-04 11:16:47 · answer #3 · answered by Queen D 3 · 0 0

Even if she aborts the baby and your "problem" as you see it, is solved....you're the type that will just move on to do it again to someone else.

Either be responsible in every sense of the word, or keep your parts in your pants and stop screwing around. It's not only YOUR life you are affecting. You think this girl has no feelings? If she was worth so little to you, you are just a dog. Too many men like you about. Go kill yourself and save the world another disgrace, or bone up, act like you just grew a pair and BE RESPONSIBLE. She may not want to adopt the baby out in which case you will be responsible for it. You have to take HER wishes into consideration too, this is not just YOUR decision dimwit. She's already saying she doesn't want to abort. Pushing her to do so only makes you more of a jerk.

If you can't even take care of yourself much less a child...you have no business having unprotected sex. Duh!

2006-08-04 11:10:28 · answer #4 · answered by hoangnkarina 2 · 1 0

you can get that assistant from the governement thing. I know they help out peopel with kids. With free diapers, free food & baby food, give you money every month for the childs needs, and lower your rent. My friend had that i dont know what it's called. public assitance i think.
Don;t get an abortion. It will affect your girlfriend emotionally. ive been there done that and I regret it. I know you dont want you child to go thru what you did. Just have that child and make sure he doesn't have that kind of life by making yourself a better person. Don;t think of it as a negative thing. Sto putting yourself down. You guys are going to be parents. Take responsabilities for your actions!!!! you didn't wear protection and now your girl is preggy. You have to deal with the fact that SH!T happends. and you have to deal with it!

Try finding a better job. Save up money. I know it's scary at first.And It might be hard in the begining but trust me it will all work out eventually. hang in there ok. much love!

2006-08-04 11:02:45 · answer #5 · answered by blah blah 5 · 0 0

Having an abortion is one of the hardest things to have to go through. Even worse if your gf doesnt want to get the child up. I've been in your situation and my advice to you is to wok it out. The pain you feel after losing a child is a life long pain. I would try and figure out other means of income. Where do you live? There are places that can help you start saving and work on either exspanding your education to work towards a better paying job. I know this may sound weird but try one of the home online businesses. Something will work out but dont force your girlfriend to do something she doesnt want to do. If you both decide then thats your choice together but I think you should work it out!
I might even have an oppertunity that doesnt envolve alot but you can make an extra income that might help you in your need...
e-mail me

2006-08-04 11:10:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

It's time to get off the Yahoo and get additional job, regardless whether you will keep the child or not. Your financial situation is a joke (although a sad one).

Abortion is not just your call - your girlfriend has much more at stake, and it's her body. You can suggest abortion, but it's her call.

If she keeps the child - do the right thing - support her and child until maturity. It may not be easy and you may not like it, but that's the price you pay for having sex without protection.

2006-08-04 11:07:03 · answer #7 · answered by D 2 · 1 0

First of all abortion is a selfish act to be choosen there are plenty of couples in america that are willing to adopt for the simple reason that they cant have their own children. I am a single mother with no job but there are programs that your girlfriend can get on like wic to help with all of the babys formula she can be referred to a program called love life which will give you free diapers every week and she can get other programs through the state as long she applies for them. I know that is not what you really want to do but atleast give the baby a chance it did not ask to be concieved and give another couple a chance if you are not able to take the responsability.

2006-08-04 11:04:10 · answer #8 · answered by d_sbabymomma 1 · 1 0

It may seem like the right thing considering your financial situation. But she has a right to have her baby if she wants. Fact is, she will have to understand that she will be paying for the bulk of the expenses. You should try telling her your stand point again. And possibly start looking for a better job. Both of you do your part to support this child, or prepare to till a decision is made.

2006-08-04 11:00:44 · answer #9 · answered by nym_psuedo 1 · 1 0

It's never better to kill someone, especially your own child. There is plenty of free help available to you. If you and your girlfriend go to a crisis pregnancy center, they can give you referrals for financial, medical, and housing assistance; free maternity and baby supplies; pregnancy, parenting, and adoption information; and much more. You can find one near you here:

http://www.optionline.org/advantage.asp

or by calling 1-800-395-HELP.

You need to take a good hard look at what you're thinking about doing:

Photos of Abortions, Including 1st Trimester Abortions:
http://www.cbrinfo.org/Resources/pictures.html

A Four-Minute, Must-See Video on Abortion:
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-4-video.html

Information on All Aspects of Abortion:
http://Abort73.com

Photos and Facts About Prenatal Development:
http://www.justthefacts.org/clar.asp
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-2-prenatal.html
http://www.studentsforlife.uct.ac.za/foetal%20dev%20photos.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/3847319.stm
http://www.lifeissues.org/ultrasound/11weeks.htm

Pain Perception in the Unborn:
http://www.advocatesfortheinnocent.com/fetalpain.html

Abortion is very dangerous for your girlfriend, too. Women have died from so-called "safe and legal" abortions:

Abortion Risks:
http://afterabortion.info/complic.html
http://www.abortionfacts.com/reardon/effect_of_abortion.asp

Abortion Deaths:
http://www.lifedynamics.com/Pro-life_Group/Pro-choice_Women
http://www.afterabortion.info/news/abortiondeaths.html
http://www.lifeissues.org/ru486/deaths.htm

If you pressure your girlfriend to kill your baby and possibly harm herself in the process, you will also risk losing her. Would you blame her for not wanting to be with someone who asks her to do such a thing?

Please keep in mind that, ready or not, you already HAVE a baby. He or she is just little and hidden right now and is depending on you, his or her daddy, for love and protection. Don't let your son or daughter down. You can rise to this challenge.

2006-08-05 02:17:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Maybe the child was better off not being, but it's too late, he/she is already here, even though you cant see him/her yet. You should have thought about that before you get your girlfriend pregnant. Maybe you guys can consider adoption. If you don't think you can give a baby a good life, them let someone else.

2006-08-04 11:02:36 · answer #11 · answered by Melissa 7 · 0 0

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