married w kids... 7years. Not in love w her... not sure i ever was...sake of kids are keeping us together. Granted she's hot and our bedroom time is always great. But i cant stand to be with her... she strips for extra money and we've both cheated before... i had to go on anti-depressants just to be with her. Kids are the main importance here...but do i settle for the one who is NOT "the one" for me. ????ow do i get out of this mess????
2006-08-04 10:43:18 · 17 answers · asked by Dan-o 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
FOR THE ANSWERS: thanks so much everyone!
2006-08-04 12:23:12 · update #1
There comes a time in your life that you have to think about yourself.....and don't feel guilty for doing this.....your kids will be fine.....think about it this way....soon your kids will see that you are not happy and do you really want them growing up thinking that they have to stay in an unhappy relationship also......just because you are? This is an example that you are setting for them that maybe you don't see yet but will come back on them in their lives.....and your kids do want you to be happy...don't stay with their Mother because of the kids....your kids will always be your kids.....and as long as you are happy they will be also.....if you are worried about your wife not letting you see them just make sure to be the first one in to draw up the divorce decree......this just comes from doing the same thing myself...trust me none of it is healthy for anybody in the end including your wife. Good luck
2006-08-04 11:04:23 · answer #1 · answered by Lindy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's time to leave.....and file for a divorce. You're not in love with her, there's no doubt about that. You've both cheated. She's a stripper. You're on anti-depressants. I'm sure that your kids know that something is wrong, whether you believe that or not. The best thing you can do is to get out NOW! You will find someone who you are truly in love with....and so will she!! Why waste any more time on something that is going nowhere??
2006-08-04 10:53:35 · answer #2 · answered by trueblond195 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents divorced when I was 13yr. When I was very young I saw they didn't like eachother, eventhough they kept having kids. I'm saying this because no matter how young your children are, they know what's going on. They probably know about the affairs. Kids are very observative. I'm speaking from experience when I say have group therpy with the whole family. Of course some therpy will be with just the two of you. Whatever you and your wife go thru will effect the children.
2006-08-04 11:29:37 · answer #3 · answered by intriguedtravel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's that awful, it sounds like it's time to call it quits. YOu don't love her, don't want to be with her, and you don't want to try anymore. Have you talked to her? How does she feel? If you both have cheated, maybe she feels tthe same way you do? Maybe it's time to call it quits? But start by talking to her. Be honest (but gentle) and tell her almost what you just told us. Ask her how she feels and what she thinks you two ought to do. But don't stay together for the sake of the kids. Kids are way smarter than we give them credit for...trust me when I say they know something's up. And yes, you do deserve to be happy. But think of it this way, if mom and day aren't happy, the children aren't very happy either; they pick up on it. Mom and dad happy makes the kids happier. My parents did better divorced.
2006-08-04 10:58:17 · answer #4 · answered by I'm just me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let it end in divorce man! Let that be your LAST option.
What you need to do is communicate, communicate, communicate. Work through the problems man!
And since you care so much about your kids, think about what would happen if you were seperated. Look at the statistics. A broken happy is not what 7 kids need growing up! Kids need a loving father and mother to bring them along.. if yoy care about your kids' future, deal with it and re-dedicate yourself to your wife.
2006-08-04 11:05:00 · answer #5 · answered by kenny_the_bomb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did that exact thing, and now it costs me a Fortune in child support!! I got a Divorce, only to make things worse, she hated me for it, and Promised she would take me to the Cleaners and put me on a Cross! AND SHE DID JUST THAT!!
and boy am I paying out the *** for it!!
Its pretty sad when they say America is the wealthiest country in the world, but Im soo freakin poor I can not even afford a car, TV, Cable internet, or a Freakin Phone!!! ( I GET INTERNET FROM WORK) if your wondering...
I mean what the HELL!!!
Its wrong if you ask me ... Just plain Wrong!
be carefull If I had the choice to go back... "FORGET IT!" its not worth tha Abuse!
2006-08-04 10:57:06 · answer #6 · answered by World of Controversy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did that for awhile but in the long run it is worse on the kids if u stay with the other person. They hear all the arguring, and stuff and you may not know but they probably sense the tension. Never settle if ur not happy...dont he a hoe LOL...but u deserve to be happy too.
2006-08-04 10:54:50 · answer #7 · answered by y2kchic99 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it is more damaging t the kid to stay in that type of relationship. If the parents are happy then the kids will be happy. I hate to hear people say that they are together for the kids, what about the parents??
2006-08-04 11:09:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is one thing you have to be in a marriage and that is happy. If your not happy and your staying for the kids it is wrong. Your kids will know that your not happy. They see more than you will ever know. We don't give them enough credit, kids. It will be hard on them, divorce, extremely hard. My parents stayed together for us kids. I remember begging my mother to divorce my dad. Like I said, kids see more than we think they do. The thing I don't understand is, if you can't stand to be with her, how can you stand to "sleep" with her??? Ever think that just maybe there is still love there??? Think it through..............
2006-08-04 14:27:52 · answer #9 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can divorce and still have a great relationship with your kids....for example I am that way with my ex....we talk nice to each other when we meet...we dont talk down to each other...my kids call him daily and write letters...in everything they do I let him in on it...like when our daughter got her ears pierced I took pics with my camera and had her call him while it was going on....little things like that...my kids know that it wasnt their fault...at times they miss us being together but they know that we are happier being apart...and if you are going to go dating one word of advice please dont introduce your date to your kids until at least six months after you've started dating...make sure that you are going to be with this person for awhile cuz it could hurt your kids again they could like her and then she leaves and it feels like another divorce...so good luck and dont worry if you have a nice quiet divorce make sure you keep it that way then your kids will be ok...just be adult about it dont allow stupid teenage thoughts to make it difficult :)
2006-08-04 11:04:25 · answer #10 · answered by tinker143 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋