My son's father & I have been divorceD for about 7 yrs. & I am recently remarried. I have told him numerous times that he needs to take his child support more seriously, but he will go 2 to 3 weeks without paying, because I think his attitude is "we don't really need it." I have been very soft on him, but my husband is insisting that I take him to court, or take some other action to enforce him to pay. I am not trying to get anything in arrear, just want him to pay each and every week. I only ask for $60 a week. He says he has this bill & that bill, (he also had a heart attack 3 yrs ago.) I feel sorry for him & his new family, as he has a wife & a daughter, but it is putting a strain on my marriage. What is the best way to get him to pay? Sometimes I feel like he is just snowing me & making me feel like times are SO hard, but is it really that hard to come up with $60 a week?
2006-08-04 10:34:41 · 29 answers · asked by Chrissy C 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He needs to support the children he made, no matter your present financial situation. Every state has some kind of child support enforcement division. Signing up is usually free or at a low-cost.
(I was a single mother for years and had to deal with this in Nevada and Alaska.)
His wages will be garnished and if he does not follow through, then the court can follow through to make him pay.
Good luck.
2006-08-04 10:39:44 · answer #1 · answered by dawnsakura 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He chose to take on the burden of another family but that doesn't alleviate the support he owes your child. Explain to him that right now the court system isn't involved and if they do get involved it causes a lot of hard feelings and probably MORE than what he gives you now. Not to mention the trauma your child will feel knowing that Mom and Dad are fighting. Tell him you would like him to voluntarily pay the $60 w/out griping and moaning by a certain day each week. If he doesn't you will contact Child support Enforcement and then it gets ugly. Heart attack or not, even if he's on Social Security he can pay your child.Tell him to quit acquiring new bills bcuz even after your child turns 18 you can go to court and ask them to make him responsible for the back support and it's just not a nice place to be in when legal people get in it.
2006-08-04 11:49:06 · answer #2 · answered by Rae 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly I think you should take him to court. He is the father of your child and should be responsible for him even if it's paying $60 a week, which honestly now a days that's not a lot. He should be thankful that you only ask for that much. I understand that you feel sorry for him but you need to put your child and yourself 1st. It's not fair that he should be able to get away with this and him brush it off like it's no big deal. If you dont take him to court he will countinue do do this and you & your child will be the ones asked out.
2006-08-04 11:29:52 · answer #3 · answered by pita 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a single Father of 2 girls and my ex pays me child support, sometimes. Where I live the state has a program set-up where they automatically garnish the wages. If the child support is court ordered then contact someone with the State about child support, if not then you should go to court and have it set-up to where he pays at least something. Most absent parents think the money is going straight to the ex but they don't realize that it supplements the supporting parent's income to pay bills and give the child food and clothing.
2006-08-04 10:54:29 · answer #4 · answered by Dragon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you only have a oral agreement for his payments. You will need to take him to court and get a court order for him to pay. I live in WA and the state takes care of all of the child support collection and taking of anything that is in arrears. It is in the divorce papers. If you go this route, they will take it from him income taxes if they can't get it any other way.
You owe it to your children to seek this support, even if you don't need it. You could have the payments go straight into a trust account that can be theirs at a certain age. It is what I do with my son's money.
One other thing, if you want, the child services will be your child's advocate. They may be able to get more money (cost of living) for the child. They can garnish his wages.
Take the time and money to get this done. It will make it easier than dealing with his empty promises. Makes him responsible too!
Good luck!
2006-08-04 10:45:17 · answer #5 · answered by Twisted Maggie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are child support offices in most towns. They can advise you as to the correct procedure. My heart felt answer is bring him to court. It may cost a couple of hundred dollars to do this. But the final result will be final. His wages will be garnished. That means his boss will deduct a set amount from his check each week. That amount will be sent to you via mail or direct deposit. Thats the way to go, you would have no further contact with him. Don't let him snow you. Everybody can come up with $120 a paycheck! He is playing you for a fool. Get a public attorney, there usually low paid or free. You can do it, be strong, be firm. Good luck.
2006-08-04 10:42:12 · answer #6 · answered by Handsup 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
$60 a week is NOTHING!! Even though you sound like a very sincere and caring person, your X is taking advantage of you. Just remember, he was your husband at one time, and he knows what you're like. He knows you're the type of person who truly cares about people, and he doesn't think you will go any further with this. But...it is his responsibility to help take care of your son. You have to take him to court and get this written up. If he's working, they could garnish his wages. I know you feel sorry for him and his family because of the heart attack, but you can't set your needs aside because of him. You also have a new family that you have to worry about. Good luck.....
2006-08-04 10:41:58 · answer #7 · answered by trueblond195 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to go to court, but see if your state offers a free attorney for this purpose through a child support enforcement division of the states attorney, that way there is not any more strain on your marriage.
2006-08-04 13:34:52 · answer #8 · answered by NaturalMom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only strain it's putting on your marriage is the fact the your new husband is complaining about the money. Why don't you leave your ex alone??? I pay $800 a month in child support, plus support my new wife's daughter whom she does not get child support for because the sperm doner gave away his rights. That moron didn't want her, but I do, and I'm going to adopt her. Your new husband is the ONLY strain here!!!
2006-08-04 10:47:06 · answer #9 · answered by Married Male 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am unsure about your state laws, but in some states once you re-marry Child support is not longer required to be paid. In other states I am sure the opposite is true. If he isn't required by law, and he is just trying to help you out, you are probably stuck. If he is required by law to pay, maybe work with him....accept less money ($30 a week is better than nothing), and if worst comes to worst threaten to take him to court, or to revoke visitation privaleges with his kid.
2006-08-04 10:41:12 · answer #10 · answered by cognitively_dislocated 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋